AIBU to think this is absolute rubbish - bullying at work

[artichokehearts]

I am sorry but I am really gobsmacked at this article in the Daily Fail today. I have only ever been bullied at work once - and that was by a man. I can't be that untypical surely? The women I've worked with have all been perfectly normal and generally nice.
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7108281/Woman-reveals-shocking-toxic-femininity-shes-experienced-work.html

I have only experienced bullying by females in work environments. I think it's because the men don't see you as competition.

I was bullied working in health care by my supervisor and made the mistake of trying to stand up for myself. Big mistake --she made my life hell and when I went to mgmt they treated me like I was a troublemaker. Needless to say I was forced to quit.

Hurrah for GIRRRRL POWERRRRRR!

@Nearlythere1, have a look at this thread and tell me whether you think it's to do with how the OP thinks of herself.

There is bullying going on in my workplace. Women bullying women.

Workplace bullying is a standard term.
Australia: www.humanrights.gov.au/our-work/employers/workplace-bullying-violence-harassment-and-bullying-fact-sheet
UK: www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

Or do you perhaps not think Government organisations are "adult" enough?

Women in the workplace can be really toxic and mean to each other. Usually in very sneaky ways.

I learned quickly to befriend the mean looking ones in a new job from day 1

I worked in the NHS female dominated area, the bullying was awful not me personally, I was part time and just went in did my thing, but others who it was decided their face just didnt fit were bullied

I am still completely shocked at all this women bullying women going on so perhaps Naomi Joy did experience all that. Very sorry for her and well done to her on writing a book out of it. I'm intrigued to read her book now to be honest.

When I was bullied - by a man - we were on a same level and he got upset when I was promoted ahead of him and did lots of sly things to try and undermine me including downright lies to our manager and also trying to pass my work off as his. Literally every day. I got to the point of dreading coming into work. I got up the courage to report it to our manager - who was a woman - and I can't tell you how I was saved by her taking it seriously and taking action.
Of course I believe that a woman could bully another woman - think of schooldays! - but really, really shocked if it is this rife in the workplace.

@Thumbs, that;s part of the Equalities Act 2010, and therefore serves my point that it hasn't come into common usage for adults until recently. I don't know why you're all arguing with me, I'm only telling you an interesting fact. Yes we had concepts such as harassment before for adults but not bullying, it's a child's term. Do you think any of the D Day veterans moped about complaining about bullying? It appears with adults at the same time as other shifts go on with children, namely, bullying becomes a more serious issue among children (sticks and stone.... names will never hurt me/ changes to names will break my heart). Once that happens it seeps into adult culture as well. It's to do with the nanny state and the rise of mental health issues as well. Anyway, dont shoot the messenger ladies, just teaching you a bit of sociology and maybe it will help you meditate on why we are so preoccupied with "bullies" today. Change in behaviour? I think not.

also @thumbs, no, I dont think many gov organisations are particularly adult no, and they certainly dont treat us like we are either!

Nearlythere - the man I reported for bullying me, I reported him for bullying and that was in the 90s. That's what he was doing, and that was the right word for it and used by everyone.

Yes, artichokes, I said before the 90s. Incidentally, the late 80s and early 90s is when this shift kicked off. God you're all so easily offended by somebody challenging you. Which makes sense since you all buy into the bullying trend.

Can none of you get to grips with the fact that things haven't always been how they are? That shows a very narrow mind.

I've generally found the people who steadfastly deny the serious negative effects of continuing malicious behaviour designed to belittle and humiliate (so bullying to use a well understood term for short) whether by children or adults, have a vested interest in doing so.

Ah look, the personal attack and discrediting of my character. It was only a matter of time. Did I question the effects of that sort of behaviour? No. Did I question it's usage with reference to adults and how ti's a relatively new occurrence? Yes.

Bullied by a witch of a woman. She even got physical with other women - throwing things at them etc. She was all over the men though. SMT are scared of her and just moves the problem around.

Evil cow. I moved because of it.

Does it matter if it's usage with reference to adults is relatively new? So are fricking cell phones. It's a well understood term that encapsulates a number of behaviours that are toxic and harmful.

Jsmith99
You can only be bullied if you allow yourself to be.

I thought that this crock of shit had been put to rest along time ago.

I have been working nearly 40 years its not new at all. There have always been people who bully others to make themselves feel better.

Nearlythere1

This isn't a new thing, its just that it has not long been recognised for what it is.

Bullying goes back decades. What else would you call McCarthyism?

I've experienced bullying by a female boss, she was vicious in the extreme. Mindgames, physical intimidation, shouting and screaming. The whole works.

However, on the flip side I also had a fantastic female boss who was sometimes accused of being a bully or being horrible and she was nothing of the sort. She did however behave in ways that would probably be seen as more typically male. I felt very sorry for her, because she was perfectly fair and reasonable, but she just was very forthright about what she expected.

The best bosses I have ever have had also been women.

So you accept the behaviour occurs Nearlythere1 and it’s impact on individuals but dispute that it is bullying. So what would you call it if you think bullying is a child’s term? Genuine question

You can only be bullied if you allow yourself to be.
Crap.
If its inherent in the workplace or its the boss doing it there isn't anywhere to go with it.

I wouldn't call McCarthyism bullying because it.... is a child's term, and nobody during the time of McCarthy would have called in bullying either. Were the spanish inquisators bullies?

My point is, for the umpteenth time, that whatever the behaviour is, it's only recently been called bullying, and that speaks to a wider shift in how adults think of themselves and others. What do you do tell kids to do if they are bullied? Tell an adult. Which is exactly what thinking of the adult behaviour in terms of bullying amounts to. Tell somebody bigger than you, get the law involved.

I am leaving my job next week due to horrendous bullying by my (female) boss. Her abuse is very insidious - all snide jibes, nasty undertone, etc. She also likes to pretend not to know about things and publicly embarrassing me for doing something "wrong", despite following her direct instructions. They are all things that can be twisted in her favour if she was ever called out. It's common knowledge that she has done this to several people over the years and they have either taken whatever job they could find just to get away from her or she twisted everything, took them to HR and had them redeployed.

She insists that she was terribly bullied by a man who worked here years ago and the thought makes me laugh. She is a fucking rottweiler - I'd like to see anyone try to bully her!