Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be deeply saddened by a teenager being euthanised **Upsetting content - warning added by MNHQ** ***MNHQ further note that the details of this story are disputed***

337 replies

TheHorseOnSeventhAvenue · 04/06/2019 17:59

I am greatly aware of our rights and understand autonomy but as far as I can see this young Dutch girl, Noa, did not end her own life but was assisted.

My heart goes out to her and her family but this is my absolute reason why euthanasia should not be supported.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 04/06/2019 19:49

The articles aren't complete from what I can understand she was legally euthanised, it's not a case of they just let her die and didn't intervene,

Whichever way you you cut it though it's heart breaking that a young girls life came to this.

Jaimemai · 04/06/2019 19:49

@ivanapee here is one.

"Men do not see women as all the way human".

www.google.com/amp/s/www.thecut.com/amp/2018/04/terry-crews-women-of-the-world-summit-cult-of-masculinity.html

IvanaPee · 04/06/2019 19:49

@Sue you’re not just saying that it got better for you - you’re implying that because it got better for you, people in mental anguish and pain shouldn’t make their own decisions.

Who are you trying to offer hope to? The discussion is about a girl in very specific circumstances who has already taken her life.

Who is your hope for?

Grasspigeons · 04/06/2019 19:51

I feel so much for this family and that poor girl. I am pro euthanasia but this sits so uncomfortably as it sounds like more, better help when younger could have prevented this. Cynically a country could stop investing in mental healthcare.

IvanaPee · 04/06/2019 19:51

Thanks, @Jaime

In the context of the article I don’t think that’s as shocking as when I first read your post!

LL83 · 04/06/2019 19:53

I support/ed euthanasia, I feel it is important to be allowed the choice, though also important nobody is ever pressured into the choice. I always imagined terminally ill or very old with very poor quality of life.

This feels awful. She was 17. And she should have been given help. I suppose if she had tried everything then maybe this could be considered but it sounds like there wasn't enough MH help.

Not sure how I feel about euthanasia now. Deeply saddened by this too op. Poor girl.

Unburnished · 04/06/2019 19:54

YABU.

It should be available here. Poor tortured girl. She was clearly very unhappy and couldnt go on.

Jaimemai · 04/06/2019 19:55

@ivanapee when I read what he and others said, it made alot of sense to me. Men are able to carry out despicable acts on women because they do not see them as human. If you see someone as an object you can do whatever you like to them. There is another celebrity who said he was taught from a young age to view women as objects and not fully human, I will have to find it. I think it is very important to see what is going wrong on the male side, in order to fix it

AmeriAnn · 04/06/2019 19:55

She needed to be away from her triggers and the people who did not protect her. She didn't have to kill herself to get away from them

SuePerbly · 04/06/2019 19:55

@JessieTalamasca - I do apologise. I forgot that trying to offer hope that people CAN be ok, was a terrible thing to do.

No, it takes no imagination to know that everyone is different. I have nursed and counselled enough people having gone through sexual trauma, to not have to imagine it.

Shall I tell you what is REALLY damaging to the recovery of people? Others who say they are "ok now" being shut down, because it perpetuates the narrative that there is no way a woman will ever recover. And that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

For anyone that this has happened to, please contact your GP, Women's Aid, The Samaritans or Rape Crisis.

Lots and lots of women can be ok again. Changed, but not necessarily unhappy.

It IS possible to be happy again, with the right support from the right place at the right time.

HandInGove · 04/06/2019 19:56

Oh dear god, that poor young girl. What an awful situation for her. It just doesn’t bear thinking about. Flowers

Flowers to others posting on here.

Jaimemai · 04/06/2019 19:57

I am disgusted that so much rape is happening in the world and nothing is being done about it!

sunshine11 · 04/06/2019 19:58

I think this is horrific and makes me wonder what state their mental health services are in if a beautiful young girl decides that being dead is better than being alive and working through her issues.

I know a number of people who were very seriously abused during childhood however, they have all got through it and now cherish the life they had.

This smacks of everyone giving up and giving in rather than working to resolve. Very very sad.

Nat6999 · 04/06/2019 19:58

Its heartbreaking that a 17 year old had to go to such lengths to end her life due to lack of mental health care.

The only thing I think that is a positive in this heartbreaking case is that this girl's family were able to be with her as she passed away & didn't have to go through the horrifying experience of finding a note & her body like many suicides.

I fully support the right to die with dignity, I suffer from a chronic health condition that while it will not kill me, it leaves me in constant pain & has disabled me. I honestly hope that if or when I get to the stage I can no longer stand the pain, euthanasia has been legalised in the UK & I will have the choice to make the decision of how, where & when I will die with dignity & my loved ones holding my hand instead of facing a future of constant pain & dying in agony or drugged up to the stage I can no longer recognise those who choose to be with me.

Catapultaway · 04/06/2019 20:00

Such a tragic story. Hope she's finally at peace.
Mixed feelings about whether or not it is a positive thing. Glad she didn't have to suffer in a final act of suicide. So sad.

JessieTalamasca · 04/06/2019 20:00

Sue, you're not 'offering hope' the girl is already dead. You're making assumptions and using your personal stories to make moral judgements on other people and then calling them 'arrogant' and other things when they don't agree with you or with personal stories being the basis for ethical policy.

SuePerbly · 04/06/2019 20:00

@Sue you’re not just saying that it got better for you - you’re implying that because it got better for you, people in mental anguish and pain shouldn’t make their own decisions

No I am not. I am saying that it got better for me and it IS possible for it to get better for lots of other people too.

I am concerned about the issues regarding capacity to consent, when so mentally ill, as are lots of mental health professionals when it comes to issues such as suicide/euthanasia.

Who are you trying to offer hope to? The discussion is about a girl in very specific circumstances who has already taken her life

Who is your hope for?

Anyone reading this who feels desperate because of what they have experienced.

Happydaughterhappymum · 04/06/2019 20:01

I obviously find this so, so sad. I truly despair of a world in which we are increasingly so afraid to admit to judging anyone or anything for fear of being labelled intolerant or bigoted, this young girl's death appears to be acceptable to so many on here. How often has 'no judgment' appeared in this thread?

This young girl, with proper treatment, would almost certainly have felt that life was worth living at some point in the future. The fact she lived in The Netherlands cost her any hope of that life. The Dutch authorities should be ashamed.

StealthPolarBear · 04/06/2019 20:01

"Awwlookatmybabyspider

Its good that the choice is there. However its heart breaking that a 17 year olds life was so bad that she felt she had to choose death as the only way out.
Her life was only just starting".
Agree with this

JessieTalamasca · 04/06/2019 20:02

The level of virtue signalling on this thread is ridiculous.

MrsPMT · 04/06/2019 20:02

Gosh that is so sad, poor girl Sad

IvanaPee · 04/06/2019 20:05

Yes but everyone else here except one poster has only been discussing the topic of this poor girl and the circumstances surrounding her tragic death, Sue.

It’s lovely that you want to offer hope and support to anyone listening, but everyone else is discussing the girl and the issues around euthanasia.

LailaDay · 04/06/2019 20:05

No one is even reading my posts - don't know why I bother.

Fact checking is not a thing we care about anymore, apparently. Hmm

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 04/06/2019 20:05

I am really really fucking glad that none of the people around me thought I was mentally competent and should be able to be self directed without restriction when I was suicidal. Because if they had, I'd be fucking dead.

KittyC4 · 04/06/2019 20:06

I cannot agree with euthanasia for mental illness. I had a profound eating disorder in my teens and twenties and was hospitalised many times. I was 3 stones 10 at my lowest. I really thought it would be best then to choose how and when I would die, because death, it seemed, was inevitable.

I went on to recover from the illness (insomuch as I have been a healthy weight for thirty years now). I have two fantastic children and a career that I love.

No, Noa's story is tragic, but, in my opinion, the feeling of hopelessness is part of the mental health issue.

Swipe left for the next trending thread