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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

16 and 12 year old alone overnight?

114 replies

ponyprincess · 03/06/2019 06:44

Would you do it? I have to be away for work and they are insistent they would rather be at home than stay with friends. Neighbour across the road would be on hand if needed. I am a single mom, no family etc nearby... They are sensible and it probably will be fine-just wonder of others would do this, or set up a different arrangement

OP posts:
Felicitycity · 03/06/2019 06:45

Is it just one night?

Sexnotgender · 03/06/2019 06:47

Not sure I would. My DD is 15 and I don’t think I’d leave her.

cocomelon23 · 03/06/2019 06:48

No I wouldn't. Definitely not a 12 year old.

Newmumma83 · 03/06/2019 06:49

Depends on your children some are more sensible than others , though can imagine even with the most sensible
Kids it makes you a little Nervous perhaps if neighbour is happy to
Knock on the door to check on them? X x

MyInnerAlto · 03/06/2019 06:51

16o yes, the younger one no. 16yo a little bit young to have responsibility overnight (17/18 that gets moe feasible IMO). Can younger one have a sleepover at a friend's?

KnifeAngel · 03/06/2019 06:52

No way. Mine are similar ages and I never leave them late in the evening.

lovelyupnorth · 03/06/2019 06:53

Don’t see there’s an issue. Especially with neighbours across the road aware. We left our 15 & 17 year olds for a week with the GP checking on them. Seems the GP spent more time with them than we do normally 😂

Ffsnosexallowed · 03/06/2019 06:56

Yes I would.

RubberTreePlant · 03/06/2019 06:59

Nope. You at least need the older child to be an adult (and the younger one to be a sensible type).

Xiaoxiong · 03/06/2019 06:59

I would, if the 16 year old was responsible. We regularly use a 16 year old babysitter, so overnight in their own home wouldn't bother me. I'd go over safety stuff before leaving and I assume they have their own phone. Good plan alerting the neighbour to make sure they are aware/prepared to help in an emergency.

Dana28 · 03/06/2019 07:01

We left our 15 & 17 year olds for a week.
I think you were lucky ss didn't get wind of that!
A 12 yo overnight. You are kidding?

Yinyen · 03/06/2019 07:01

I have a few friends that left home at 16, I went abroad with friends at 16 for a couple of weeks at a time.
As long as they get on well I would.

Oblomov19 · 03/06/2019 07:05

Not sure. Possibly? Probably not. Ds1 is very mature. But Ds2 not so much and to ask Ds1 to manage that, is a bit unfair?

Whatareyoutalkingabout · 03/06/2019 07:06

Absolutely not. Especially not if there's a better option.

NoSauce · 03/06/2019 07:09

I think it depends on the dc.

SoupDragon · 03/06/2019 07:09

A 12 yo overnight. You are kidding?

The 12 year old isn't alone, they are with an older sibling.

It depends how sensible the 16 year old is and how they are together. I don't think I would do it for a week. I left my 12 year old with her 17 year old brother over night but it was one night at a time.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 03/06/2019 07:10

I've done it. Depends very much if your children are independent and have a good local network of neighbours.

Pp,I don't think SS are interested in a 17yo and 15yo left home alone!

Stiffasaboard · 03/06/2019 07:10

Absolutely no way

feathermucker · 03/06/2019 07:11

How sensible are they and what is their relationship like? Will you be far away?

Original poster
ponyprincess · 03/06/2019 07:12

They are both quite sensible but I agree with those questioning is it right to put that responsibility on my 16 year old dd. Maybe best to have 12 year old ds stay at a friend, but then might be lonely for dd

OP posts:
REDCARBLUE · 03/06/2019 07:12

We have 17/15/11 yr olds and we would not leave them. They probably would be ok but were very rural she no direct neighbours so id not be happy

Original poster
ponyprincess · 03/06/2019 07:13

I will be about 40 miles away so that is why I have sorted to have my neighbour on call

OP posts:
Nannewnannew · 03/06/2019 07:13

People can get married at 16!

Original poster
ponyprincess · 03/06/2019 07:13

It is just one night yes

OP posts:
Original poster
ponyprincess · 03/06/2019 07:15

They get along well and are quite close - I think they would probably be fine tbh but just not sure it is okay to do

OP posts:
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