16 and 12 year old alone overnight?

[ponyprincess]

Would you do it? I have to be away for work and they are insistent they would rather be at home than stay with friends. Neighbour across the road would be on hand if needed. I am a single mom, no family etc nearby... They are sensible and it probably will be fine-just wonder of others would do this, or set up a different arrangement

@adaline it depends on the 16 yo in question, but I do know for certain that my NT 16 yo would not have coped and nor would I have put her in that position

Time to start educating your 16 year old, I'd say. In OP's situation, if her children had your daughter's experience of a man hammering on their door, for instance, I would assume the 16 year old would have had the sense to call the neighbour and/or the police.

And just to add, the reality is that even if something did happen you still would have to stay home alone again.

@Isatis please read my post for Glitterfisher. And my 16 yo in question is now 21 and living and working successfully in London whilst we live 4 hours away, so no need for me to educate her

@Glitterfisher, you make a good point and yes it was some time before we could leave her alone again.

To be fair @RabbityMcRabbit most adults would struggle in that situation.

But you can't live your life in fear over something that, in reality, has a very slim chance of actually happening.

Not the 12 year old, but definitely the 16 year old.

I recently left DS (16) for 3 nights AND went out of the country!

@adaline well that's true but I do think it gave us a different perspective because once it has happened to you, you can't help but see things differently

No way. I wouldn’t.

Rabbity, if you looked properly at my post that you are replying to, you would realise that I had read your post to Glitterfisher and dealt with that in the post in question.

@Isatis "I would assume the 16 year old would have had the sense to call the neighbour and/or the police" Isatis, have you ever been in a situation like that? She froze and was terrified, that happens to adults too.

You know your DCs better than anyone, so there's no point running it past the MN collective. If you're confident that they'll be fine, then they will be.

I'm possibly a little bit biased as I'm in the same boat as you, with DCs of the same age. My DD 16 is so sensible and capable, and my DS 12 is pretty compliant and they get along just fine. I've left them overnight a couple of times since she turned 16, and they've been perfectly fine. I have good neighbours and friends nearby in case of emergencies, so I don't worry too much about them.

Trust your gut.

I would. My 14 yo DD with Aspergers stays home alone when I work a night shift. She's extremely capable and sensible. She would ring me (5 min drive away) at work if something happened or call emergency services if there was a fire or something.

Me and my sister (2 years older) were left alone for weekends a couple of times ourselves from ages younger than your 16 yo, we were always fine. I agree with PPs about knowing your own children, me and my sister were both sensible kids.

I was also a babysitter at 15, looking after a 3 and 7 year old and quite often did overnights, there was never any issues at all

I think in an emergency my DD would call 999 or my meighbour-she is pretty sensible/responsible and the two of them do get on well

It is more the isssue of her being in chargenof DS and whether it is fair to put that responsibility on her. But she when asked rather has him there for company than having him out for a sleepover.

I think I will try it as it is their preference and a one-off situation (not a green light to be out all the time!)