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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

439 replies

RoguePudding · 02/06/2019 20:47

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

  • my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
  • I can work from home
  • It would be for about 16 hours a week
  • 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
  • my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 03/06/2019 18:10

I work part time 21 hrs a week and even now it involves evening and weekends 16 hours is fine to fit in around naps and evening and weekends if your DH can take the slack then it’s really just finding 2/2.5 hrs a day over a week will he be fine with that?

LouH1981 · 03/06/2019 18:13

Going from my experience, I don’t think I could have done it. I was so sleep deprived I genuinely don’t even remember those 1st few weeks. My son developed his own routine pretty quickly but even then I felt like a zombie and that was with my mum there after DH returned to work. I did have a c section so I guess that made it trickier but it can be unpredictable and I’m guessing you will need a lot of concentration to complete your work.
It’s hard to say because every birth/baby/experience is different. Can you make the decision post birth once you have an idea how little one is settling in? Can you make it anymore flexible so that you can be a bit more easy on yourself? xxx

catgirl1976 · 03/06/2019 18:18

I went back pt at 5 weeks

I regret it now but it is doable. Not easy but doable.

I forgot a tube to my breast pump once and thought my tits were going to explode whilst I waited for DH to bring it in. Just a word of caution there.

catgirl1976 · 03/06/2019 18:19

Ah just seen you could do it from home which should prevent any breast pump mishaps :)

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/06/2019 18:23

This sort of return to work is very common in America. I think it sounds feasible, if you have to you have to, especially if you can work the hours needed when you want to.

Bennyandthejetsssss · 03/06/2019 18:24

As other ppp’s have said, some countries it’s normal to go straight back to work.

16 hours a week shouldn’t be too hard to cover if you pace yourself and allow realistic contingency for baby being restless. Childcare will be essential so you can focus, but lots of women have no choice so good luck OP.

You define your own normal but prepare a plan b for the inevitable , speak to your midwife about the post birth practicalities and timescales

user1499111831 · 03/06/2019 18:27

Sorry if it's already been said. Have you thought about what you'd do if baby was poorly after birth. My first was full term no complications in pregnancy or birth but still ended up in NICU 4 hours post birth and took a while to get him sorted.

exaltedwombat · 03/06/2019 18:28

Disclosure - I've observed, not personally done it!

If you have a full-time nanny (or equivalent), give it a try. If not, forget it.

'You CAN have it all. But not all at once'. Wise words.

Cloglover · 03/06/2019 18:31

There are just so many variables it is impossible to say. However, if you got your mum to come out whilst you were doing your assignment, that would definitely make it a lot more possible.

NotDoris · 03/06/2019 18:34

From what you’ve said, I think you could accept the job. I’ve got 2 children, both planned sections and both breastfed. Breastfeeding means lots of boring time sitting around feeding as it is often more frequent and longer than bottle feeds. But, it is easy to latch baby on and have one or both hands free to type. Bottle feeding is also time consuming, but it’s not anywhere as easy to have one hand free, let alone both. I spent LOTS of time online whilst constantly feeding!
In my experience, the early weeks are far easier than the later months, but you say childcare may be available after 4 months when baby needs more attention.
If you take the job and find it doable, then brilliant. If it’s not possible due to your health or baby not ‘cooperating’ then you have to quit, but at least you’ve tried and given it your best shot. If you decline the job now, you’ll lose the client anyway and never know if it was possible or not.
Good luck!

Cloglover · 03/06/2019 18:37

But seriously. It would be possible with some babies. If it's a clingy one you could buy a sling and just get on with it. If my second child had been my first it would have been totes doable. She barely slept, but was happy as long as she was held and took to feeding like a duck to water. Barely heard a peep out of her until she was 6 months. My first child - no way in hell! The big questions are what would happen if you were unable to complete it, and would you feel cheated out of this most precious time with your first baby if you end up having to devote a lot more attention to your project than you are happily able to.

emmakc1977 · 03/06/2019 18:40

It's definitely possible. I was doing the LPC at law school when my middle one was born, it's a fulltime course and was very full on. He came along on the first day of the October half term (I'd started in September) and I was back to college the following Tuesday so I only missed one day.

I then fell pregnant accidentally when he was three months old, so I was three months pregnant when I was doing my exams in the summer!

Whilst it was hard going back when the middle one was born, the exams were the hardest as not only did I have a baby but I was shattered with the pregnancy.

You can definitely do it.

MrsC45 · 03/06/2019 18:43

If you are going to do it, a trip to your local sling library would probably help a great deal. A good sling is very calming for baby and frees up your hands. Good luck!

londonrach · 03/06/2019 18:48

Depends on birth. Im self employed and work one day a weeek. I returned 2 weeks after giving birth to see a few patients. Dd safe with grandparents. I choose to ff and best decision i ever made for dd and me but not right for everyone. Impossible to return if bf. Wait and see what happens

Willweeverfindout · 03/06/2019 18:52

I did. Self employed working from home. It was fine. A bit stressful. Was easy until around the 12 week mark as DS was an easy newborn but a harder three month old.
I would say though, if you don’t work SMP works out around 6k for 38 weeks. You can’t claim this if you continue to work. I found this out with my second and postponed a few projects on the basis that while not a huge income it was income.

TantieTowie · 03/06/2019 18:53

I'm self-employed and while I took six months off after DC1 I had to go back after six weeks (lack of cover on gig I didn't want to lose) for DC2. I write for a living and I could do it with her in a sling. In fact, she slept for hours and I got loads done. It wasn't ideal, but it was doable. Got less doable after about three or four months when she slept less and got more lively but initially it was fine.

BangingOn · 03/06/2019 18:53

OP I was in a similar situation to you and I managed it with lots of help from DH and a sling. It’s not ideal but if it’s necessary you will make it work.

nakedscientist · 03/06/2019 18:54

OP you say worse case scenario is three weeks. Do you have an elective C section booked?

If you don't due dates are very approximate and my last child was 17 days late and then induced. Dont count on the due date being very accurate!

TantieTowie · 03/06/2019 18:56

It was a Kari-me sling that I remember very fondly.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 03/06/2019 18:57

Back at work ( with baby) two weeks after birth. Single parent. I was a nanny though so was used to children. No CS or stitches or anything otherwise would have been stuffed.

Jessie94 · 03/06/2019 19:04

Yes it's definitely doable. You can learn to breastfeed in a sling so you can literally feed your baby handsfree so you can type.
My son would happily sleep in the sling for hours upon hours too so I had a lot of time.

Ilfie · 03/06/2019 19:10

I think you will probably be able to do this especially as you can work from home... also totally agree with others that you will be more than amazed/tired/worn out when you’ve given birth! Did it myself 30 yrs ago when we had only child when I was aged 40. Had always worked full time in very demanding lots of responsibility job and no wimp! Think working from home will be ok- one of the worst things after giving birth (especially first time). Is that you are not just looking after a baby and all the immense responsibilities that go with it- you are also feeling like you’ve had a major operation and not your normal- can cope with anything self! Good luck- just expect not to feel on top of everything! And don’t blame yourself if you don’t! It gets better x

GingerRogers84 · 03/06/2019 19:10

I did it!
I work from home and am a part-time student.
I basically ignored everything apart from my baby for 4 weeks then started slotting work in here and there when the baby napped.
You can definitely do it! Good luck! Smile

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 03/06/2019 19:16

I don't think you can answer the question of what work you'll be capable of until you're in the thick of it, and it's something that will change from day to day, week to week and month to month - sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. I was absolutely certain that I'd be bored stupid and keen to go back to work (I work from home) after 3 months. As it happened, my baby and I were still in hospital 3 weeks after he was born; it was enormously hard work for various reasons for about 3 months after that (I got about 2-5 hours of broken sleep in every 24, he needed feeding every 3 hours day and night, which would take almost 2 hours including washing and sterilising the equipment, leaving me with an hour until it all kicked off again, during which I'd have to choose: clean house, clean self, eat or sleep); and fairly hard until he was 2 (he woke 3-8 times a night until then). I went back to work very part time when he was 1 with the help of a nanny share arrangement, and gradually built my hours up until he started school. I'm now full time again, but he is often off school ill unexpectedly, which can be quite tricky for juggling work.

I think rule one of babies is that you can't really plan ahead - you have no idea what they are going to be like until you're there. You can hope for a straightforward birth with no complications and an easy baby, but you'd be a fool to bank on it.

Rule two is that every time you think you've got it nailed, they change. Every time.

HeyHeyMckenzie · 03/06/2019 19:28

Absolutely you can. And you can even if your baby is not easy going, or if you are not feeling up to it, or if you are utterly knackered. There will be nothing to stop you from working 16hrs per week.

BUT- you have to be prepared that whilst it might be doable, it might be incredibly stressful and an utterly horrific experience (it might not be of course and I really hope it isn't!)

It depends on how difficult those early weeks are as to how doable it is. Always doable, just unpredictable levels of awfulness dependent on circumstances post birtbirth.

Good luck- hope it works out for you x