To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

[RoguePudding]

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

• my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
• I can work from home
• It would be for about 16 hours a week
• 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
• my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

You probably can, but birth in general is such an unknown that it makes it difficult to say for certain and I’m not sure I’d want to commit or put that sort of pressure on myself in the (however unlikely) situation that things didn’t quite go according to plan. Especially if you have very little childcare from birth-4 months. I’m not sure that I’d have been able to guarantee I’d be able commit to 2-3 hours of work a day when my daughter was that old- time or brain power wise. I didn’t have it particularly hard, she isn’t a big sleeper but everything else was quite straightforward with her and she was a typical newborn who just wanted to be held. I think it depends a lot on how you feel a couple of weeks after giving birth having had chance to settle a little bit, but that doesn’t help make the decision now!

I efb and started freelance computer-based work again 4 weeks after birth, working with baby sleeping in sling (fine) or on my lap after feeding (one-handed typing, not great!). I did have help from relatives but DS wanted to be on me all the time so they could help with housework but not take him while I worked.

As PP have stated, it depends a lot on your birth and your baby. I wouldn't have committed to anything beforehand and in the early weeks I couldn't have accepted anything with a tight deadline as how much I could get done varied hugely day to day. I did it out of necessity to keep a few key clients happy, and because maternity leave where I am is dreadful.

After my first, no way on earth would I have been able to do it. After the second, yes I think I probably would have managed it. The thing is you have no way of knowing what the birth and postnatal period will be like. It is different for everyone and for every birth. My two were completely different. Unfortunately there is no way to predict how you will feel.

I would do it. Absolutely. If you can try and get the baby into some kind of routine, which I managed with my first but not the rest of them. Yes, you can do it. Although it might be much harder than you think.

What is your DP like with housework? If he can take up some slack, like keeping up with the housework and dealing with the baby when he's home that will be invaluable.

You won't be able to look after a newborn, do all the housework and do your work. Your DP will have to step up.

It is possible seeing it's 16 hours, I went back to 16-18 hours a week after a c-section when Ds was 6 weeks. MIL had him for those two days and we did just fine. So long as you recover well (I did bounce back) He also breastfed until he was 18 months, MIL supplimented with formula if she ran out of my milk.

16-18 hours a week, after a c-section. missing comma makes a difference there!

It’s possible barring any unforeseen health issues with you and/or baby. You’d have to do most of the work you could when your dp was home. Dh worked 3 hours a day during office hours from home when our eldest was 5 months for six months. He had a cot by his desk and worked when she napped (2 hours) and played with her when she woke up. But his job wasnt very demanding and he was just monitoring emails really and could organise them and worked on them when I got home from work.

I did at 8 weeks and could have done from 3-4, c section after failed induction. I did have a quick recovery though with no complications

But forgot to add, eldest was a dream child, if it was my second born it’d Be a whole other ball game, he learnt to climb out of his before he could walk and no way would he sit in a cot playing with a sensory basket for 10 minutes at a time, his goal was to be everywhere all at once and would scream the house down if he was confined to a playpen/cot.

I would say no, although it probably is possible. In the weeks and months that followed the birth of my first baby, I was in a constant haze of exhaustion, and barely able to remember the simplest thing, if it didn’t relate to my baby. I planned to carry on with my PhD research while on Mat leave, but to be honest, I struggled to maintain the level of focus needed even when I returned to study nine months later.

Saying that, though, one of DHs colleagues joined a conference call about six hours after giving birth!

Thanks so much for all the input. DH is great with housework, and I have no doubt will do everything he can to support.

One of the issues is that any other course of action will mean major upheaval that would cause more stress in the short-term and the longterm. If I cannot manage this, due to my health or the baby's health, then of course there is no choice, but if we can possibly manage it, this is absolutely the best choice for our family.

Here's someone who did it OP: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/books/2012/oct/18/maggie-ofarrel-how-to-write-book

Don’t underestimate how absolutely exhausted you may be. I couldn’t have done it with my first, nightmare, baby.

My second who never woke up I could have gone back the day after.

I was coming on all prepared to say no, definitely not, because at 3 weeks after birth I couldn't physically have gone back to my particular job, but actually, if it's working from home, a few hours a day, and typing from the comfort of the sofa within arm's reach of the baby, then yes you probably could. It's not ideal in that you probably won't be arsed and will wish you didn't have to, but if there's a lot riding on it then I'd do it. If your husband is on board then even if baby is a bit velcro it should still be achievable

I know a couple of childminders who went back to work just 4 weeks after giving birth. Both full time looking after other people’s children all day as well as their newborn.
I suppose needs must.

I don’t agree with the comments along the lines of ‘you probably could but you won’t want to.’

Like I said, the challenges around returning to work earlier were for me, all about ‘other stuff’... having to express milk, get the baby up and out to childcare by 8am, having to get myself showered, dressed and looking presentable for work, the commute. The actual work itself was no problem - in fact I enjoyed the fact it was a different challenge to that of caring for a newborn. The OP won’t have any of those added pressures, it’ll just be about the work itself which sounds interesting.

With a newborn you inevitably spend a lot of time sitting and feeding. I aimed to use this time for reading all the books I’d always meant to get round to, but inevitably I sometimes ended up watching crap telly! Having a couple of hours a day working on a laptop would have been a lot more interesting!

Take into account that you are asking this question in the uk where 1 year of sitting at home is the norm. in most countries, its more like 12 weeks, and women deal perfectly well (and have higher breastfeeding rates on top). maternity leave in the uk is glorified- weirdly enough i’ve hardly ever met anybody who seemed happy .most women complained about being bored and stressed to full fill the “perfect fun mum” stereotype. I went back fully after 5/6 months (and from home after 3), and never regretted it with both of mine. Stay true to yourself, and you will enjoy it much more!

DS1 - I couldn't have gone back to work. Too busy holding a screaming, severe refluxy baby who puked over everything many many times a day (aged 9 months, he was still being sick 15 times every 24 hours).

DS2 - much calmer baby, possibly could have worked...except that I had complications following the birth, needing treatment. In the 3 months following the birth I averaged 8 medical appointments a week between me and DS2.

It is really impossible to know how your recovery will go and how your baby will be.

There's a huge difference between going back to work with childcare, and trying to work whilst looking after your baby.

I went back both times when baby was 6 months. It was hard (neither slept through before aged 4 years) but whilst at work I only had to deal with work. Not a baby.

Yes absolutely - but it depends what type of a person you are. I took 10 weeks off with my first - I work 4 hours a day - and then fitted work around naps and sleep times. With my second I didn't even take maternity leave, my boss continued to pay me and I helped out for the first few weeks and then carried on as usual. I would say it's doable.

A friend of mine who owns a business returned to work 2 weeks PP but she hasn’t gone back to it full time and is relying on relatives and friends to help her out a lot. Her birth also went extremely smoothly, not everyone is so lucky.

It’s hard to say, with it being your first you won’t know how you’re going to feel after birth just yet. Depends on how your birth goes and how you cope with the exhaustion.

No childcare, then no.

Actually no anyway.

If you don't have childcare then you can't work. A newborn is the most demanding being on earth. You can't just ignore it, it's hard to explain it beforehand.

I knew a woman who was insisting on returning to work 6 weeks after having her baby. (She was paid full pay for 6 months but insisted she would be bored out of her mind!) Before having thd baby, she told the company she wanted to return immediately, they said she wouldn't be insured, i think she even consulted a solicitor and insisted that she wanted to return to work and nobody was going to stop her.

Anyway, the company said 'wait until the baby arrives and see how you feel then'

That was 9 years ago and she still hasn't returned to work.

I think it sounds feasible OP. Just be prepared to be very flexible about when you are able to do the hours and take the all the support you can. I did at least 16 hours of work within the first month of both DC (now 3 and 8 month. I didn't have c-sections but my births weren't straightforward either.

If you commit to it i think it's likely that you will be able to manage it - but don't underestimate how tough it will be! Good luck

I think it very much depends on the type of child you have.

Both of mine wouldn’t be put down and everything had to be done one handed.

Friends Dd said she barely knew she had a baby as he slept so much.