To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

[RoguePudding]

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

• my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
• I can work from home
• It would be for about 16 hours a week
• 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
• my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

It’s not impossible but a lot depends on whether you had a straightforward birth and how calm your baby is. I had some translation work to do and managed to start it within two weeks of giving birth with my baby on my lap. I don’t think I could have done it with my first because she was not much of a sleeper. Good luck!

I couldnt move off the sofa for 6 weeks as had a csection. Also breastfeeding kept me stuck there.

I did! After 3 weeks. And I'm a teacher so my job involves being on my feet all day (I work abroad and teachers don't have desks in the classroom). I made a deal with school where I went in for classes and cycled home to feed the baby in between! Only a 5 minute cycle. It was no problem.

I found that, far from causing me stress, it actually gave me a nice change of scenery so whenever I had baby time I loved it and whenever I had work I loved it.

You very much can. I returned to work exclusively from home (same as you, laptop based) when DC was 7 weeks old for 40 hours a week. I had a c-section. I was tired but it became my normal. I pretty much worked from bed with DC next to me. Most new babies feed and sleep. It was actually easier than WFH when toddler DC around, embarking on dangerous stunts.

Of course you can op. I would recommend bf and having a go at typing lying down/one handed.

Baby might want to feed a lot at that age so you just lie down on sofa laptop on a coffee table you can pull closer and get on with it.

The amount of time I spent cluster feeding or with ds asleep on me watching Netflix was ridiculous. You would be able to get 16 hours in easy.

I did it. After an emergency c section too. Similar to OP, I was and still am self employed. No maternity leave for me.

20+ years ago but I went back to the office after six weeks (having finished a week before DS birth) and used up annual leave to reduce my days for a few weeks - then worked full-time. Looking back no idea how we managed but DS was a pretty easy baby and I did have lots of help from DH, my retired parents and had access to a great workplace nursery. I was also studying for my masters at the time. Not sure I'd advise anyone to do this though looking back.

Might be easier if you do bf. I found the babies wanted to feed often which forced me to sit down. Using a V pillow meant I had both hands free so I was able to use the laptop while they fed.

Are the people saying that this is possible ignoring the fact that she's not planning on using childcare and will be working while looking after the baby from 3 weeks post birth til the baby is 6 months old?

Yes, some babies sleep a lot - not all of them though, some scream if you don't hold them all of the time, and some 6 month olds are crawling already...

You can't ignore an older baby while they're awake, you'll have to work while the baby sleeps, but not all babies can be put down for a neatly scheduled 3 hour nap each day, and most people use naps to shower, prepare food etc in the first few months.

It would be possible with childcare, but without it's a big string of ifs and maybes.

it’s doable but not fun. i exclusively breastfed both of mi e, and did some work from about 4 weeks. get a good sling (go to your local sling library, don’t just buy anything!), and a standing desk and you should be fine if you and baby are healthy.
as above - possible, but not fun (but certainly easier than with a movile baby!)

Possible yes I'd say. Where I live, maternity leave is 45 days including weekends, not 45 work days. Hope all goes well for you.

I had a C section and had to go back to work part time almost immediately because I had a business that needed my input and I was financially dependent on it. Having no maternity leave was not ideal and looking back, it was a stressful time, but I coped because I had to. My DD was very good, she cake with me to work, on appointments, to buy extra stock etc etc. She slept in all kinds of environments, I breast fed anywhere and everywhere. I was proud of both of us for coping with a tough situation. But her Dad did help too and I was lucky she was easy going. I would say it definitely would be possible but only based on my experience.

If someone else was watching the baby - yes.

If not - no.

In other words I would have been physically and mentally able to do this, but a newborn baby needs much more attention than I had realised. At that age DS1 liked to feed for one hour out of every three!

Although I see that upthread someone has recommended working while feeding. I guess that could work.

I've done it, returned full time to the office after 3 weeks. It is hard, but certainly doable.

Men should be able
To take maternity leave if it is financially better .. e.g your self employed so no income though this would mean when he goes back not statuary maternity once that happens ... some companies will pay 90% income for a couple of months ... if your husband works for o2 they have 14 weeks paternity leave now anyhow get him to look at his options

As this way he won’t be as financially impacted and you have more chance of being able to earn sooner.

I think it depends on how you and the baby are after, I had raging hormones that settled after 10 weeks but was really depressed after. Day 5 of having baby, exhausted because if I got 1 hour sleep while
Looking after baby ( day and night ) it was a good night.

My friends baby slept from day one and didn’t have any hormonal issues ... so was on her feet quicker

It’s a huge wonderful thing but the impact can’t be explained until you are there so
Try to be as kind as possible in arranging a support system.

Me and my husband both were hallucinating by week two we were so shattered ... we did start splitting the night as was combo
Feeding so he took baby 4am-7am that helps 3 hours sleep is bliss at that stage

If you don’t have a supportive partner call on your friends ... I took a weeks holiday to help my friend out when she had her 2nd baby basically she booked me in around her mum / sister and other friends coming to
Help and we all loved doing it and getting special bonding time with the little one x x

I'd do it, tbh. I had a degree and a Masters but also did a diploma whilst on maternity leave so that I didn't get bored.

I needed it.

Really needed it!

Cluster feeding in the early days is a pain but, honestly, maternity leave is mind numbing. You might welcome the intellectual stimulation!

I think it would be fine. I work from home with a 3-month-old (in the evenings). I breastfeed her to sleep, then let her nap on me while I work on my laptop. It works well.

I have done it from 10 weeks or so with the youngest two of my three. Had I worked when I had my first, I could have started much earlier because newborns feed and sleep for a huge chunk of the day, so if I hadn’t had bigger children to contend with I’d have had bags of time!

As it is I watched the whole Bake Off back catalogue and ate cake instead

Yes OP you can. I did it, at 2 weeks for similar reasons (self employed, big project that meant work for at least another year) and it was ok. And this was with my first who was in NICU for the first week.
If you have a supportive DP who can take time off to slot around you, you can manage. I broke my day up into chunks according to when baby needed to feed.
It was hard looking back but I didn’t have anything else to compare to it so just got on with it. Very glad I did.
I don’t know how people in the US go back to jobs in offices and such when babies are 6 weeks old. That seems gruelling to me. 😮

I went back to work 2 weeks after birth of my son.
However, it was a family business so I could take as many breaks as I liked and even bring son with me if necessary
It was my 3rd child so I knew what I was doing (more or less)
If you can work from home and work around you child, and if you are the sort if person who can work tired, I would say go for it.
If you have support at home it would be better. However I didnt and still managed

I know someone who worked full time from home with no formal childcare from 3 months. She said returning to work by 3 months is normal in her country, and she felt lucky she could work from home with baby rather than using a nursery.

Her hours were flexible so she worked when baby napped and when her husband was there in the evenings and at weekends.

When baby was older, twice a week a babysitter took her baby out for a walk to the playground, I think for a couple of hours. They didn't use a nursery until baby was one, I think due to finances.

Her baby was exceptionally calm and easygoing - slept predictably by being put in the cot with a song.

Being routine focused and expecting baby to settle to sleep alone (and tolerating
some crying to achieve this) was the norm in her country, as was expecting baby to just need one predictable overnight feed by three months. She also fully formula fed as breastfeeding didn't work out (although the advice she received from relatives and doctors in her country would have made breastfeeding harder to work eg not feeding on demand).

She said she was happy with the situation and it enabled her to carry on her very interesting career. She did say she didn't have many opportunities to make friends with other mums or take baby to playgroups.

She was well rested as baby only walking once at night, her husband was happy to do lots of baby care in the evenings (when babies often grumpy) and weekends so she could rest, her baby was on a clockwork schedule and seemed a cheerful happy baby.

I would say the rest of us were AMAZED this was even possible.

IMO only you will be able to know if you can do it or not. I had a terrible birth experience, but I was able to get back to studying within 3-4 weeks. I am very lucky that I have a good baby, I stop and start when he has naps etc. Everyone is different, I managed to cope with the night feeds with no problem but again I was only being woken up twice. From 10 weeks my baby slept 8:30-6 so I try to do work before bed and also try to get enough sleep to be fresh for the next day! I am a lucky one I think (Minus the birth) I would not feel bad doing this as you are thinking for your family, you are not leaving your baby and you can be flexible. Good luck with everything!

Speaking as one who returned to work with a 12 week old back in the day, most of the pressures were things which the OP won’t have. It was the getting dd awake, doing a long bf at an unearthly hour of the morning, getting her to her childminder and then getting myself to work by 8 am, working all day (and on my feet a lot) then driving back, collecting dd, before embarking on the whole evening routine. Actual work itself wasn’t a problem. You don’t lose your ability to think just because you’ve had a child (though agree with others that sleep deprivation makes things harder.)

When I think back to what was completely the norm for working mums just 20+ years ago, the OPs proposal seems eminently doable. She said her work hours are very flexible; she can do a couple of hours a day, or even stack more hours In at the weekend when her dh is there, and have some completely work free days during the week. 16 hours is quite doable. Plus no having to wake the baby up; she can fit around it’s routine, no expressing milk, no commute, she doesn’t even need to get out of her pjs!

The only caveat I’d make is that from 4 months tops, possibly earlier, she really ought to have childcare, simply because babies become more demanding, will be sleeping less in the day time and may not be content to just sleep or lie in your lap feeding. And if it’s an unsettled baby who needs constant movement, carrying etc then she may need childcare even earlier.

But with necessary childcare it really is perfectly possible

If you can split the work into 2-3 hours a day in chunks, I imagine it could be possible if

• you can do this work whilst really tired - how much focus does this work require? Some days you will be really tired when baby has a bad patch

• it would be possible to back out gracefully if it isn't possible eg if you get severe postnatal depression, if your baby is very challenging - what will be the repercussions if you do need to back out?