Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To lie to everyone about this trip?

144 replies

QuestionableMouse · 02/06/2019 20:19

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable.

I'm at the end of my tether with various family things. I've just had a week of stressful exams and I'm at the point where I need some time alone.

I've booked myself a night in a Travelodge. I'm not even going to a different town just hiding from my family for 36 or so hours. I'm telling everyone it's for a course at work and I'll be miles away. I'm planning a pamper/relaxation session with some good food and a film to watch.

Aibu?

OP posts:

Tinkobell · 03/06/2019 09:30

Does anyone recall that episode of Miranda (Hart) where she pretended she'd gone on some big fancy overseas trip but checked into a travel lodge in her own town.....it was very funny. Anyway, OP enjoy your respite - like Miranda did, roll around crazily on the new sheets, munch the free biscuits in bed, use the trouser press and run a bath!

RosaWaiting · 03/06/2019 09:31

OP I know exactly how you feel on the parent front

but you are doing way too much for your sister. I have anxiety as well. You must be permanently knackered.

candycane222 · 03/06/2019 09:36

Absolutely enjoy yourself on your "assertiveness and boundaries" course !

Why not think about taking up a regular de-stressing solo activity like long walks or swimming when you get home - You don't want to end up with health issues like your DPs (not that these are necessarily lifestyle related of course, but still...). Double win - will help with your anxiety, and it blocks out a bit more time when you re not available?

I bet your DPs put your blood pressure up, so you can tell them it is necessary for health reasons. You need to learn to get your refusal in first .

Anyhow plenty of time for that next week. Really really enjoy your break course.

Ilovemypantry · 03/06/2019 09:38

Happynow001
OP stated that the hotel she is going to is in the same town as where she lives, she is not going to a different far off location. So she could still be spotted while she is out and about. That is my understanding of it anyway.

Idontwanttotalk · 03/06/2019 09:39

Oh okay, I was one who didn't read the thread, but it was a bit of a drip-feed.

I'd still tell the truth though otherwise your family will never realise that you find it all a bit tiring. They might just class as you as the strong one who can be relied on to do whatever it takes and not realise you need a break too. If they realise then they may try not to ask so much of you.

I'd just tell them I'm going away for a couple of days to recharge my batteries as I'm exhausted from the exams, childcare and hospital appointments. I'm only to be contacted in actual emergencies. (i.e. life-threatening events).

Enjoy your time away and try in future to take frequent time for yourself ... without lying to them.

Original poster

QuestionableMouse · 03/06/2019 09:43

I had exams all last week at uni.

OP posts:

Frittata · 03/06/2019 09:47

If you do really well on the course, maybe they will ask you to get involved in presenting the next few though agree it would be better if you were able to say you are overloaded

DarlingNikita · 03/06/2019 09:56

YNABU, OP, you need it and you'll feel better for it. Have a wonderful time.

If it helps with the guilt, I'm currently looking at a summer holiday for me and DP, who is very busy and struggling to find dates when he can be away. I love him dearly, but I'm secretly slightly hoping that he'll have to leave early/come out to join me later so I can have just a couple of days on my own

Original poster

QuestionableMouse · 03/06/2019 10:00

Honestly I probably could just tell them I'm at my limit but then I feel guilty because I know they're struggling.... It's as much me as it is them 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

deydododatdodontdeydo · 03/06/2019 10:01

Sounds fine, but I think it would be spectacularly bad idea for anyone who has a partner.
Imagine if they found out! Check the Relationship boards - nobody would believe you weren't spending the night with someone.

As an aside, I have a friend who's DH is a delivery driver. When their kids were toddlers, she found out he'd stopped for a snooze in a layby and she was fuming that he got a rest and she didn't

lololove · 03/06/2019 10:08

I've done this, or rather I've planned to do it several times. I'm a carer for my disabled mum and on call for my... Difficult.... Grandad 24/7 who's in a care home.

Gone as far as making enquiries with a couple of luxury caravan owners at our local holiday park (I live by the seaside) for out of season (basically just a place to stay in and hide, not to do any of the activities) and looked up several places on air b nd b both in the same town and a quiet nearby picturesque Market town but never actually gone through with it. I really need to for my own mental health.

I understand the urge to cut off completely and you deserve it so much. Do it, don't feel guilty and enjoy it! Do whatever you want to, even if just laying on the bed or in the bath with a magazine in silence. Heaven ❤️

Enjoy! And book more! (take advance of the travel lodge sales when they come up of you can, cheap rooms full of peace! Doesn't matter what it looks like when there's silence and no expectations ❤️

kateandme · 03/06/2019 10:47

DuchessOfBallybrack because people were still talking about her partner or her kids etc so what I meant was she is already explain she's single and this is to do with her family.

kateandme · 03/06/2019 10:48

Bahhhhhumbug thankyou

kateandme · 03/06/2019 10:53

What you're doing is lovely .andif you need to keep doing it for whatever reason then that's fine. We all have things in life be it ill parents or kids to look after or things we have to go a certain level over usual limits for what we perhaps should/might like. And somehow we find strength. But use others if you can. And use things like this time off at the hotel to just get your little bit of freedom. and use that time to get your mental health and good feelings back up and on kilter again. Then that might mean the bits that do tire you just seem a bit more manageable. And if you can keep trying to find a those little bits of emotional toppings up see you can keep going. And so you feel ok. Because you need to be strong enough to do the things you're doing for others too.

Bloodless · 03/06/2019 10:55

I say dream of this sometimes

poppet31 · 03/06/2019 11:39

You are absolutely not being unreasonable to do this. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. However I do think your family are expecting way too much of you and maybe you need to have a think about how you can tackle this in the long term?

Amibeingdaft81 · 03/06/2019 11:44

If I was going to do something like this, I wouldn’t do it half-assed.

It would be a properly luxurious and indulgent hotel as opposed to a hotel that represents the antithesis of that!

RosaWaiting · 03/06/2019 12:24

81 well, if you can afford it, great.

OP needs a mental break so whatever works for that is great.

Original poster

QuestionableMouse · 03/06/2019 20:54

@Amibeingdaft81 well yes a luxe hotel would be lovely but I'm on a limited budget. I'm after peace and quiet, not gold plated taps. 😁😂

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread