To lie to everyone about this trip?

[QuestionableMouse]

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable.

I'm at the end of my tether with various family things. I've just had a week of stressful exams and I'm at the point where I need some time alone.

I've booked myself a night in a Travelodge. I'm not even going to a different town just hiding from my family for 36 or so hours. I'm telling everyone it's for a course at work and I'll be miles away. I'm planning a pamper/relaxation session with some good food and a film to watch.

Aibu?

I've taken time off work before without telling my family, in term time (left over holiday not able to take in school holidays) because of they knew I was off I would have all sorts of requests. So instead i'went to work 'then met friends for lunch or went to my mums (she was at work) where I watched TV, had a nap etc.

My counsellor recommended it too.

Bloody fantastic, have a quilt free blissful time

No, I think she needs a quilt omione.

Or at least a blanket

Just make sure you switched location services off on your phone etc

Other than that...DO IT.

Sounds great but bear in mind is your dp/dh finds out (if you have one) they will defo think you are having an affair.

I think YABU to lie about it but to do it is actually fine. I would much rather my partner told me how they felt. If they lied and did this and then I found out, I would be mad as hell with them. I would then probably wonder whether there was more to it and it would definitely be the start of my mistrust of them.

Why can't you just be honest?

Family or children? Why do you need to lie?
I would be straight with everyone. I am at the end of my tether, I am out of action for 48 hours. See you next weekend

RTFT - OP has no partner or children and has a wider family demanding her time all the time.

when do you go.let us know how it went

OP, do it and let me know if you enjoyed it, or felt guilty/worried. There is a budget hotel (but it's not bad) around the corner from me and you have no idea how many times I've nearly stormed off and left my teenagers festering in their own wrappers and insults to go and get some peace.

read the update and thread people

You've taken on too much OP and I'm worried you're being relied on too heavily. I assumed you had children but hiding from demanding family members (ok just your sister really) makes me feel bad for you. Anyway, have a lovely night but please do put yourself first if you can when you get back.

OP, Booksmarts and Greta are two films out at the moment, might be worth a view. I think you should stretch the course out to two nights though!

That’s a lot you’re doing for your sister. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Enjoy your holiday from life.

could you say as a start that youve got some studying/work to be done at the moment so need to scale down the looking after the kids.and tell you parents you need this too.it then at least puts that space in their which might be bale to continue when they stop relying on you so much and puttting their own plans in place.

Agree with @newbie1981. Definitely do it and have a fab time but start working on your boundaries - there’s being an introvert and wanting to help people you love, and then there’s damaging your sanity because you’re putting the whole world’s priorities ahead of yours. You sound a bit taken advantage of if I’m honest.

@kateandme, confused, why are you telling posters to read the thread and the update. Your post says "when you do go, let us know how it went" which is the same message other posters are expressing right before your 'read the thread' mandate.

I did read the thread. 🤔😞

Not at all, a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do. Hopefully you'll re-emerge with recharged batteries and will feel ready or the next round. Pamper yourself.

DuchessOfBallybrack l think by RTFT she means some recent posters are still saying OP who is single and no DC should tell her dp or dh the truth as its not fair etc

Thanks! It's this Thursday night/Friday day and I can't wait.

Childcare is a bit tricky for my sister at the moment... They both need to work but don't earn enough to pay for nursery and the kids don't get free hours until July (might be this month actually, I'm not 100% sure how it works) . Well, the oldest, the youngest has a bit to go yet. My BILs parents are very hands off and my parents can only do so much due to ill health. I don't mind really because I love them both to bits but I do find it exhausting especially as the 3yo is in the stage of asking questions about everything!

And my parents tire me out with the constant medical stuff... It's not even that bad generally but it sends my anxiety into hyperdrive which is the exhausting part.

Enjoy it OP and you could tell them that you're back so late on Friday that you're out of action til at least midday Saturday if not 4pm

I have teenagers and I think by next year I could do this very occasionally.

ps, I KNOW OP is single !! Just, my own mind is racing with possibilities ehre, feeling inspired.

Is it you or the DC's who've had exams?

I know the OP doesn’t have a partner, But I want to ask a question of posters who are saying that it would be wrong to keep this a secret from a partner. If you have a decent husband/partner, you wouldn’t need to take a secret break, as your DH/DP would do his fair share. If he’s not taking your needs into consideration, then why the hell wouldn’t you take a secret break. If he’s that much of a selfish prick, then you do what you need to survive.

And no, my husband wasn’t like that, before I’m accused of projecting. He was a wonderful, kind man.

I hope you have a wonderful time and feel well rested afterwards, OP. I know your sister and her husband are on a tight budget, but that’s not your fault. They chose to have children and should be more considerate to YOUR needs. The children will grow up and their parents will have more help, but who’s there for you?

Enjoy!