To completely object to

[WithAllIntenseAndPurposes]

Not only being lucky enough to make the evening only invite list but then when you arrive to be served a sausage bap for your evening meal

Take a sandwich? To a prestigious hotel? Alright mate mind if I sit and scoff my tuna and cucumber in the lobby in case I'm offered a pathetic meal later? 🙄

Take a sandwich? To a prestigious hotel? Alright mate mind if I sit and scoff my tuna and cucumber in the lobby in case I'm offered a pathetic meal later?
Unless you worked in the hotel, you could have eaten it on the way. I’m assuming you had time to get changed out of your work clothes.

I wouldn’t worry though. I assume by your attitude, you’re not going to be at the top of many guest lists so shouldn’t be a regular problem for you.

I was at a mid week wedding this week (no partners allowed) and they served sausage baps or gammon baps & the cake. I could have eaten more but I assumed the b&g had a budget to stick to. ( I raided the sweetie jars that were out too!)

It wouldn't really bother me. I always eat before an evening event.

We had a proper buffet for our wedding in the evening though!

@Yabbers you seem to live on another planet mate

You don't sound very nice, OP.

Is hanger a real issue with you?

I’m a bit embarrassed for you that you’re making such a huge deal out of it.

Do you have issues with food?

YABVU you were not invited to the meal. Meal invitations are normally for people who are attending the wedding ceremony and after. This couple invited you to the evening which in most circles there is a light buffet which in this case was a sausage sandwich. You seem to think that because you gave them a gift they should reimburse you in the form of a meal of at least the same value of your gift. Did this couple know how much you would pay for the gift before they choose the buffet , I don't think so. Is it their fault you choose a drink that cost £9 a glass definitely not, in your world this is rare just like the number of invites you'll receive when people realise how much of a snob you really are.

Actually having re-read the opening post, it smacks of bitterness anyway, at not being invited to the ceremony.

I'm sure no matter what the B&G served up, it would have been met with the same disdain from the OP.

I think that's the root of it.

If you're so fancy then surely you're used to paying £9 a drink? Or should they have saved for another year for a free bar too?

Fucks sake why don't people understand. It's not your day. Someone has kindly invited you to a party, why be a twat.
Weddings are so bloody expensive, just be nice. Good god.

I must live on the same planet as Yabbers - it makes sense what she says.
You've said you traveled to the party (which cost you a fortune apparently), so you could have eaten in the car / train /whatever vehicle you traveled in.

Or wherever you got changed ?

There are lots of ways around it. Hire a hall and make your own food.

But not many people want to be catering on their wedding day - yes, I know some people do, but it is pretty normal and understandable not to want to.

Invite less people
(fewer)
It sounds like they already cut their guest list back - 40 day guests and 25 more in the evening is hardly a giant wedding

Look at other venues.

I kind of expect they did. Trouble is, you mention the word wedding and £££ signs go up everywhere. Maybe this was the cheapest available, that was prepared to cater for smaller numbers.

It's not normal imo to expect people to come and have inadequate food.

But they didn't. A sausage sarnie is quite a filling snack during an evening party.

@Likeamobvie only if all you care about is a venue and not making guests happy

I'm looking at wedding venues myself and most of them offer the bacon and sausage sandwich in the evening? It's trendy at the moment.
I didn't even know most people expected to be fed a full meal in the evening.
It's around an extra £1500 just for the sandwiches for 50 people. That's for the cheapest shithole in our area.
You have a very strange and entitled outlook. It's not their fault you didn't eat. They invited you to a celebration of their marriage.

Yeah a sausage bap is a bit shit, usually there's more of a selection and a bit of a buffet at least. We went to a full day wedding in the middle of nowhere at a posh family's country estate once and got served a cold slice of pork in a crappy white bap - that was it all day. DH and I were bloody starving.

Have they caught the person who held a gun to your head and forced you to the party, OP?

We couldn't really afford to do two lots of food, and I didn't want anyone hammered, so we had a late wedding and then dinner for all, no evening guests.
However, you didn't have to go, I don't think that you're being particularly well mannered. Surely it's about the celebration?

I attended as it is polite to attend family weddings. I also feel it is important to make sure your guests are fed and watered and not out of pocket but these days it seems nobody else is important just the bride and groom and what they want goes so why have a reception at all?

I completely understand why you weren't invited to the full wedding of your close cousin

"At least not in the circles I mix in"

"I spent far more on their 'special day' then they did on me attending"

Speaks volumes to your character.

A sausage bap ? and was it on a paper plate.. A sausage bap,is usually a Northern thing.

I once went to an evening do, it was a hippy wedding,way back in hippy days, and all there was to sample.was loads of booze and spliffs !

I feel sorry for the bride & groom that they felt they had to invite you to any of their wedding celebrations... did you miss that that was the point of the invitation? You do realise that you were only invited to any of it because they, unlike you, were being polite?

The makings of a good party imo is good company and plenty to eat and drink. I can’t believe so many people think it’s ok to not provide a choice food for evening guests. That’s being a pretty miserable host! I don’t think I’ve ever been to a party, let alone the evening do of a wedding without some sort of buffet being offered. Weddings don’t have to be expensive-I kept the cost of mine down in a number of ways, but the most important thing to me was making sure all the guests had a great time-and that included feeding them in the evening as well as in the afternoon.

And I would have been really unimpressed with a sausage bap

I didn't even know this was a thing, you either invite people to your wedding or you don't.

If you are an 'evening guest' are you expected to bring a gift as well or are you just invited to celebrate the wedding with no expectations?

I would be pretty annoyed if I was expected to stump up for a gift but only good enough to get a sausage in bread too. It seems like gift grabbing to me.