To completely object to

[WithAllIntenseAndPurposes]

Not only being lucky enough to make the evening only invite list but then when you arrive to be served a sausage bap for your evening meal

Up north ( and I mean Cumbria north) we like our food and you always have food laid on for the evening reception.. finger buffet, savouries, sweets etc.. so a sausage sandwich sounds pretty bad.
YANBU x

I really hate how entitled people get over weddings.

I don’t get why some evening guests get so fixated on being fed.

Roy I really don't feel "honoured" to be invited to a wedding.

I'm not sure when I have felt "honoured" but I have certainly felt cherished when I've been seriously ill - I live alone - and good friends have stood by. Or when dad was dying of cancer and friends turned up even at night to check on me when I was at the hospital.

but "honoured" to be invited to a wedding?

I haven't been to a wedding for at least 10 years now, but I must admit, I thought evening reception timings were when they wanted you to turn up and that it would be considered rude to appear at 8pm if it said 6pm.

I can understand why you were an evening only guest.

@Notabedofroses then, as stated, they are welcome to exercise their right to decline the invitation. Who wants their guests there under sufferance?

It's bloody mean. Couldn't you have more than one op?

OP - YANBU.

Bizarre thread.

On others where posters have outlined their menus, food ideas etc for the big day (including evening), they have got slaughtered for not proposing obscene amounts of food throughout the day and night (and beyond)

We had similar at our wedding at night but the difference was;

Heated platters of sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs for meat eaters, white or whole meal huge bread rolls, roasted pointy peppers with goats cheese for vegetarians (all of whom got stuck into the bacon 🙄). Both types of sauce . Proper plates and napkins.

There was loads of it. It used to be a point of pride years ago that you could put a good spread on for guests whether it was a wedding or a funeral or Boxing Day.

Now you’re expecting people to be thrilled that you invited them and you can leave them hungry all night or serve shite food.

It used to be a point of pride years ago that you could put a good spread on for guests whether it was a wedding or a funeral or Boxing Day. Now you’re expecting people to be thrilled that you invited them and you can leave them hungry all night or serve shite food.

Exactly this with bells on.

Bacon or sausage butty at 9pm is perfect

OP your life must be very difficult, living with so much bitterness and negativity in it. I actually feel a bit sorry for you (genuinely) because casting so much judgement must take up a huge amount of mental energy, and that can't be a happy way to live your life.
I know this thread has been a bit goady in places, but I do hope that this wedding palaver doesn't eat you up (no pun intended) and that you can move on and let it go.

YANBU.
Hog roast is normally the thing.
I'd have felt miffed being given a sausage bap if I was you or a vegetarian option of a veggie sausage burger as I'm veggie but I mean, I'm not expecting three courses but that's a bit crap.
A small buffet to save costs fair enough but the bap thing sounds pretty mean.

@RoyEastmannKodak you must be joking as that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.

Why do you think it would be an honour to hang out with someone who fed you a sausage whether it is their wedding day or not?

When we got married we did it on a very minimal budget and it made me immensely happy to be celebrating the day with people who helped to make my life special. Everyone was treated the same, we told people not to bring gifts and had an absolute ball. Some people brought gifts, some didn't and everyone was given a meal, a choice of light/heavy beer, wine or soft drinks. People were able to BYO spirits because or venue allowed for it.

The honour was mine that the special people in my life organised to free up their day and come celebrate with us. You are not the queen and you are not that special.

Yes, Aridance, a poster a few weeks ago wrote that she was having a very small wedding (no two-tiered) and reception after for all guests and was asking if it was okay for people to buy their own drinks and got roasted.

I have been to more weddings than I can count and have never been to one with a free bar. And I've been to several where no alcohol was served at all (including my own) and even to one where the bride and groom had paid for the hotel bar to be closed and no one could buy alcohol at all.

I've never been to a wedding without a reasonably substantial and varied evening buffet meal provided. A sausage bap would be a surprise to me as well, so I can understand why the op is disappointed.

@Fluffycloudland77
"roasted pointy peppers with goats cheese for vegetarians (all of whom got stuck into the bacon 🙄)"
This made me laugh
I have a friend who's a 'devout' vegan, but it's a different story when he's had a few drinks and fancies some fried chicken!

I don't think the bacon butty thing is done to be cheap, it's usually done at expensive venues and is thought to be "trendy". The bride and groom have probably paid as much for that as a buffet. Sometimes it comes with cones of chips, which at least bulks it out (often in personalised fake newspaper with the bride and groom on it). If there are enough butties for more than one or chips with it etc, it's ok, but a lot of places do miniature baps and just one butty, so it's a bit disappointing.

dear @WithAllIntenseAndPurposes I'm sorry that you were served a sausage bap and not a hog roast for the evening invite you received for your cousins wedding. I hope you're ok, your cousin sounds awful and really really rude and ungrateful. Sending thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

You are suuuuuuch a dick 😂😂😂😂

Oh and @winniestone37 this made me chuckle 😂

Right I've read it all and you are a joke. I've been invited to a wedding do at night after working 13 hours and guess what? I ate before I got there, I took extra food to work. I didn't care about how much the drinks cost or how much the bride and groom had spent on the guests, why? Because it was there special day and I went to support them.

@StoppingBy - no, not joking. I really DO think that its an honour to be invited to shared someone's special day, opinions about the catering aside.

Some people just haven't got the money to cater to the wishes and requirements of all the guests. I personally wouldn't aim to provide "only a sausage bap" but if felt I needed to start a thread on a well known parenting site where it would be seen and commented upon by thousands, possibly picked up on by the Daily Mail and shared wioth the national press in an warped manner (as they do) and ultimately seen by the bride and groom who were responsible for the heinous crime of not providing posh enough or sufficient quantities of food for the guests. Perhaps they feel crap about it themselves and there was some kind of catering malfunction.. perhaps people turned up with uninvited friends (that happens too) and there just wasn't enough to go around.. who knows..

Main thing is, this WAS someone's special day even if some of the guests don't see it that way.. and feel affronted at the effort they feel they have to make because of the inconvenience of being invited.. and to moan about a sausage bap just seems doesn't seem worth the angst and the potential stress/distress of being "outed".. even if its a "great Mumsnet AIBU topic".

So no, not joking.. or being ridiculous

We had bread rolls, sausage rolls, a selection of meats, cocktail sausages, cheese and a few vegetarian options. It was 7 onwards. I thought that was fair enough not a massive meal but enough to line your stomach.

Then again the only evening guests we had that were not also day guests were work colleagues or locally living friends.

I think if you invitebpeople for the evening do you can't just assume they've eaten something before.