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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To completely object to

518 replies

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 21:40

Not only being lucky enough to make the evening only invite list but then when you arrive to be served a sausage bap for your evening meal

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 02/06/2019 00:04

What the hell is this new trend where people expect the bride and groom to spend the same amount of money on them, as they spend going to the wedding. How ridiculous. If you expect repayment of some sort just for turning up, stay at home.

WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:04

arethereanyleftatall I was thinking the same.

Although I'd still be willing to risk it.

Pinkyyy · 02/06/2019 00:04

If you can't afford any more change venue/save until you can

Oh I see. So people who are on a budget shouldn't get married at all?

Sparklesocks · 02/06/2019 00:05

Ok well it’s happened now, wouldn’t it be best just to let it go and chow down on toast when you get in? Or are you expecting the couple to send you a food gift card in the post for such a slight?

missminagrindlay · 02/06/2019 00:05

The lesson to be learned is: decline evening invitations, they're shit and rude.

tunabakedpotato · 02/06/2019 00:06

🍿

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:07

The common sense thing would be to have an affordable venue @Pinkyyy not spend a small fortune on a venue and scrimp on hospitality
I really don't get this 'it's alllllll about the bride and groom nobody else matters' where I'm from weddings are all about catering to your guests

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:07

If you can't afford any more change venue/save until you can

And there was me thinking you couldn't sound any more entitled.

Do you really think you're worth them changing venue or saving for longer, just so you can grace their evening reception with your magnificent presence?

Blimey Confused

WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:08

The lesson to be learned is: decline evening invitations, they're shit and rude.

As are some of the guests.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:09

No worra but on the other hand when people think fuck putting myself out spending a fortune in the process to be offered a single pathetic food item and nothing else the bride and groom have no room to be slighted by people declining an invite no?

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 02/06/2019 00:10

Why should they compromise on a venue they love just because you don't think their food offering is adequate? By the sounds of it nothing but a 5 course Michelin star meal would have made the cut anyway. Of course it's all about the bride and groom, it's THEIR wedding. Guests are not forced to attend.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:10

Worra I'm sorry you seem to think family aren't worth making happy and catering for...I feel sad you are so bitter what happened ?

OP posts:
Cheeserton · 02/06/2019 00:11

YABU. You sound frankly quite foolish complaining about the fare at a wedding evening party. Suck it up. Get on with it.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/06/2019 00:11

Are you still there now op, sitting in a dark corner somewhere furiously stabbing at your phone? (With the little strength you have left what with being starving).

WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:12

No not at all.

In fact I'm thinking they'd be bloody grateful if you declined, especially if they could read this thread.

Just feed yourself before you turn up for the evening.

It's an evening wedding invite, not a soup kitchen.

Sparklesocks · 02/06/2019 00:13

In fairness when people talk about great weddings it’s rarely the evening food that has sold it for them.

BackforGood · 02/06/2019 00:13

Must be my extra couple of years then, as I have been to a wedding of a lovely couple I know who let us know they couldn't afford an evening buffet, but that we were very welcome to join them in dancing the night away if we would like to. It was a lovely evening, celebrating / partying with two lovely people. Of course, it was only an invitation so if I were so easily offended as the OP, I would have chosen not to go.

Point being, at the wedding the OP went to, she actually was offered food. It is jst that she was rude enough to then start criticising the food that the B&G had chosen.

whilst spending a small fortune attending a close family members wedding..

I'm unclear how / why it "costs a small fortune" to attend this wedding ? Confused

If you can't afford any more change venue/save until you can

How rude. Why should someone postpone getting married for a year because they have a rude and ungracious cousin they felt obliged to invite ? Hmm Sounds very sensible to me, to cut your cloth to suit your budget.

How about 'If you can't get through an evening party without a 3 course meal, then feed yourself beforehand' ?

WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:14

Worra I'm sorry you seem to think family aren't worth making happy and catering for...I feel sad you are so bitter what happened ?

You happened.

I feel sorry for the bride and groom to be honest.

It must be awful to think one of their guests was sat there with a cat's bum face all night, because she objected to the food they provided.

Not to mention said guest starting a thread on the internet about it, because she's still seething a few days afterwards.

Blimey.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:14

How does it cost a small fortune?
A) getting there
B) wedding gift
C) drinks at £9 a glass

For a food item worth pennies

It's really inhospitable but luckily in my world very rare

OP posts:
Jenasaurus · 02/06/2019 00:16

Years ago (I’m in my 50’s.) o attended a few weddings in one year. One of them stands out as there was no meal at all just peanuts and crisps. And that was the full day guests too. It was strange because the weekend before their wedding was another friends and there wedding was the opposite. Full 3 course meal for day guests and Italian hot buffet in the evening. Both weddings were Italian. The one with peanuts my DP suggested we leave early and get fish and chips. I actually think the couple hadn’t a
Clue and was embarrassed for them

Pinkyyy · 02/06/2019 00:17

You know what OP you take yourself back to 'your world' and eat to your heart's content. I'm sure you won't be missed by the B&G.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:18

There are lots of ways around it. Hire a hall and make your own food. Invite less people. Look at other venues. It's not normal imo to expect people to come and have inadequate food. Drink as well really but can understand that more as people over drink but having it at a venue where drinks are also extortionate again just smacks of selfishness just to have photos in a posh venue

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 02/06/2019 00:24

Maybe it’s best you avoid weddings in future just to be safe

Yabbers · 02/06/2019 00:24

And I couldn't eat before as I was coming straight from work

Not their problem. Should have taken a sandwich with you.

Sausage sandwich sounds lovely.

WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:24

I'm confused.

Did you receive an evening invite to a wedding reception or a court subpoena?

You sound as though you were forced in some way to attend?

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