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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To completely object to

518 replies

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 21:40

Not only being lucky enough to make the evening only invite list but then when you arrive to be served a sausage bap for your evening meal

OP posts:
AgileLass · 01/06/2019 23:45

I’d love a sausage sandwich right now

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 23:46

At an evening reception there is 99.9% of the time food so I don't agree with being expected to eat before

OP posts:
Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 01/06/2019 23:47

Maybe you could cancel the cheque?

EC22 · 01/06/2019 23:50

It’s cheap, that’s why folk do it, it’s much cheaper than even a cold buffet. I think it’s a shit offering for your evening guests, but better than nothing!

missminagrindlay · 01/06/2019 23:52

It's stingy hosting. 'Oh, the special people get a meal, everyone else, be grateful we deigned to share the dregs with you.' Nah, see, I'd have not bothered going. The match was more interesting.

Pinkyyy · 01/06/2019 23:52

Yes and yours is no exception, you were given food. Just because it's not up to your standards, doesn't mean you haven't been given food. Evening guests are basically just invited to the party, so why would you expect a full meal?

Guadalquivir19 · 01/06/2019 23:52

The problem occurs when the happy couple expect the same value of gift from the evening guests as well as the day guests. It's the sense of entitlement & lack of hospitality that the op is objecting to. I don't mind attending evening receptions of people that I know. I would object if I'm expected to go to a lot of expense without a decent buffet meal.

WorraLiberty · 01/06/2019 23:53

At an evening reception there is 99.9% of the time food so I don't agree with being expected to eat before

Errrm...there was food.

You just 'completely objected' to it.

I'm sure others would have been happy with it and grateful, as has been evidenced on this thread.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 23:55

And others wouldn't...as evidenced by this thread

Would you be happy to be invited round someone's house for dinner and get served a breakfast bap?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 01/06/2019 23:55

Sometimes on reading a thread on mumsnet I smugly congratulate myself on how I would react to the situation.
For this one, I wouldn't have expected anything, would have had a sandwich on the way just in case, would have enjoyed the sausage bap, and got on with my evening. At no point would I have expected anything, whinged about anything, wrote a thread on mumsnet about it, or judged anyone.
Yeah, go me.
Yabu, op. You're not coming across well here.

Femodene · 01/06/2019 23:56

‘Evening’ reception starting at 6?yeah, sounds like an invitation out of obligation that you should have refused.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 23:57

@arethereanyleftatall yeah go you....wtf?

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 01/06/2019 23:58

Would you be happy to be invited round someone's house for dinner and get served a breakfast bap?

Oh FFS. You weren't invited for dinner, you were invited to a fucking party. You were served something that I'd choose over a buffet of cold crap any day. I wonder why you didn't get a day invite....

overnightangel · 01/06/2019 23:59

Greedy and entitled much

Honeyroar · 01/06/2019 23:59

I think I've been to a different type of wedding to some of the people on here (ie, Worra). I've got to the age of 50 without being at a wedding without food in the evening. I guess I understand why people on Mumsnet see the evening invite as a snub if people really don't offer food. I had a huge hot and cold wedding at my wedding, despite it being on a budget. And yes daytime guests will have had a big meal, but it's often mid afternoon, so people usually will happily eat again later.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 23:59

Also all parties I've been to have had a substantial amount of various items of food...it's called hospitality I believe

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:00

Would you be happy to be invited round someone's house for dinner and get served a breakfast bap?

You weren't invited around someone's house for dinner. You were invited to an evening reception/party Confused

If you'd fed yourself before you arrived, a snack would have been more than sufficient.

The fact you expected others to feed you, isn't the bride and groom's problem. Hopefully a lesson learned.

Osirus · 02/06/2019 00:00

I reluctantly attended an evening do they served either half (yes, half) a sandwich OR a handful of chips. You were forbidden from taking both.

She also didn’t realise she was supposed to give wedding cake to her guests. She took the lot home and stuck it in the freezer.

The day guests had been there since 11am and they must have been ravenous; not to mention knackered as there was absolutely nowhere to sit down.

Luckily, I’d eaten before arrival because it was exactly like I’d expected it to be.

missminagrindlay · 02/06/2019 00:01

Pretty stingy to invite people to a party where you provide only a sausage bap over the course of several hours. I find that pretty miserable hosting, tbh.

BackforGood · 02/06/2019 00:01

....but you weren't being invited for dinner. You were being invited to a party, in the evening. It is quite normal to assume it will be a "light" supper of one kind. I would never go without having had a light 'tea' earlier on.
What with you being a 'close cousin' and all, I'd have thought you might have had a conversation with her at some point during the planning and asked what they were doing re food.

Personally, I love a sausage bap, but even if I didn't, it wouldn't really matter as I understand that you can't please all the people all the time and one person's choice wouldn't be another person's choice.
I've been to quite a few "do's over many years where I've been served things I wouldn't have chosen myself. That's fine. You won't starve.

YABVVVVVVU, and incredibly rude.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:01

Yes how unreasonable expecting to not be starving whilst spending a small fortune attending a close family members wedding....it's a wedding reception not a Tupperware party!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:02

I've got to the age of 50 without being at a wedding without food in the evening.

Me too and I turned 50 a few weeks ago.

The OP and other evening guests were fed food.

But apparently the OP completely objected to it.

Oh well, you can't please them all.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/06/2019 00:03

Maybe the happy couple don't actually like any of the evening guests, but had to invite them due to them being family. It doesn't sound like the op is the kind of person who would take not being invited at all to a cousins wedding very well.

WorraLiberty · 02/06/2019 00:03

Oh you were starving?

Even more of a lesson learned then OP.

Learn to feed yourself and then a snack will be more than enough, even if it's not to your apparently 'high' standards.

Original poster
WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 00:04

They were fed an insult

A sausage bloody bap is something I'd feed the plumber not family travelling miles to my wedding. If you can't afford any more change venue/save until you can

OP posts:
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