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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To completely object to

518 replies

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 01/06/2019 21:40

Not only being lucky enough to make the evening only invite list but then when you arrive to be served a sausage bap for your evening meal

OP posts:
SurferRona · 02/06/2019 18:23

Ooooh, I've just remembered a wedding where I WAS given a bacon roll! Tho it was 2am when the party was still going strong!!. Followed a full running sweet and savoury, hot and cold buffet at 7.30pm too. OP, I agree your B&G were not gracious hosts at this event. I bet they expected a decent present from you though Hmm

winecigsandchoc · 02/06/2019 18:25

I think the OP should have had two sausages in a roll and be grateful she was invited at all! I can’t believe how rude she is being!

UserName31456789 · 02/06/2019 18:33

think the OP should have had two sausages in a roll and be grateful she was invited at all!

I think this is the problem with some B&G's they think it's such an honour to be invited to even a small section of their "special day" they should not mind the expense, inconvenience and lack of comfort.

I can't imagine anyone hosting any other kind of event where it would be acceptable to show such disdain to your guests.

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 18:52

Lol be grateful to be invited? Are you meant to beg and scrape to be allowed to spend money to attend someone's wedding? Some people really are bizzare

OP posts:
LostinNorfolk · 02/06/2019 19:02

you used to have bacon sandwiches before carriages, not as an alternative to a meal.

Sparklesocks · 02/06/2019 19:34

OP I’m impressed you’re still going on this 10 hours later...

Sparklesocks · 02/06/2019 19:35

I meant nearly 24 hours later!

Eliza9919 · 02/06/2019 19:35

This ^

I reckon that's about the only time a sausage or bacon sandwich is acceptable, if you are giving it to your guests as a takeaway when they leave.

FullOfJellyBeans · 02/06/2019 19:36

I think the OP should have had two sausages in a roll and be grateful she was invited at all!

OR.... the B&G should be grateful people travelled to their wedding at their own expense (and probably gave £50 gifts) and consider whether they'll be sufficiently catered for.

JessieTalamasca · 02/06/2019 19:41

Might not have been allowed more than one bap. Or the food runs out as it's under catered. There have been several threads on here when no food was provided at all to evening guests and none was available to buy. And one where the couple had only sweets for evening guests - bowls of lollies and Haribo on the tables and slices of cake. One famous one where a person was on all day guest at got one raisin scone over the course of 12 hours. Cue loads of 'You should have eaten beforehand or had food stashed somewhere' and 'be grateful you were invited at all you are so greedy you won't starve you're probably fat!'

JessieTalamasca · 02/06/2019 19:44

We've come a long way from Jesus turning water into wine at a wedding to spare the hosts' embarrassment when the wine ran out.

Cryalot2 · 02/06/2019 19:58

I have gone to an evening do where there was no food.
Plenty of non stop entertainment and everyone had a good time .
Couple are now divorced.

Likeamobvie · 02/06/2019 20:20

@goodwinter you can usually get quotes online from places - have a look at your local venues. Places take the piss when it comes to weddings.

It's not even something I had thought would be wrong !! When you choose the venue you chose your meal package, your drinks package and then an optional evening 'snack' including sausage rolls etc. It's just how these venues do it. The B&G paid extra for you to have that sandwich - they absolutely were thinking of you and trying to be good hosts.

My mum recently went to a wedding and was so happy with a bacon roll because she'd never been to a wedding where you attend the wedding breakfast and also get something in the evening. I was thinking of doing the same for my wedding. It's really sad people will be nasty about that when the alternative is no food not more food. God weddings are so messy, people are just trying to enjoy getting married. It's not about you.

Eliza9919 · 02/06/2019 20:30

It kind of is about guests when you are hosting. I think if you can't afford proper food for the evening then you can't afford that venue. Choose somewhere cheaper and actually feed and water your guests.

JessieTalamasca · 02/06/2019 20:45

Sorry, Like, but I think that's really poor form to have no food at all or even available to buy a lot of people do fancy something to soak up the alcohol you should at least warn them. Shabby hosting.

HardofCleaning · 02/06/2019 20:51

@Likeamobvie

I think you just have to have some common sense. If you have guests attending a full day wedding - they'll need more than one meal and as hosts you should provide it - it's a wedding not a survival mission. It will cost them more per head to attend your wedding than it costs for you to cater it. If you invite people to the evening only think carefully. Are they family or real friends? Are they travelling far? If yes to any of these you should probably invite them to the full thing. Otherwise at least be a little considerate to them and give them something to eat.

AnnaComnena · 02/06/2019 21:09

My mum recently went to a wedding and was so happy with a bacon roll because she'd never been to a wedding where you attend the wedding breakfast and also get something in the evening.

But she'd had the wedding breakfast. The op hadn't. And even if guests have had the breakfast, I think if you're expecting them to stay the whole evening, you do need to feed them something later, say around 9.00, even if it's only tea or coffee and a bit of finger food.

JessieTalamasca · 02/06/2019 21:16

I think if you're expecting them to stay the whole evening, you do need to feed them something later, say around 9.00, even if it's only tea or coffee and a bit of finger food.

God it's just basic hosting, isn't it? People get utterly flamed on MN for not offering tradespeople they're paying to do work in their homes tea, coffee, drinks, biscuits, etc but it's okay at an evening do to have nothing at all for your guests? I mean, nothing at all?

BackforGood · 02/06/2019 21:21

Don't ask if you don't want views!

this is the funniest thing you have posted.

You have been incredibly aggressive in your posts, and rude to everyone who disagrees with you. You have name called and accused posters of being goady, because they are putting forward a different point of view.

I can't believe you went to work all day, then changed in the toilets at work (wtf??) to be banging on the doors at 6pm, when you are invited to an evening Reception. That is beyond bizarre. So you've not eaten anything from lunchtime, and you;ve presumably not had a shower and you've rushed there to then complain.
I can't get over the fact you keep going on and on about how much it "cost you".
You were invited to a party.
If your budget is so tight you can't afford the petrol, then don't go. It is a party after a wedding. It was not a summons.

I was talking with a friend earlier today who is in the throes of planning her wedding. I said to her how lovely it is nowadays that people can do, or not d what they want for their weddings these days and how nice it is that weddings are all so different.
If you struggle with things not being exactly what you expect, then the best thing to do is to chat with people and find out the plan. I always ask these days what the plan for the day is, as I must have funny blood sugar or something as I struggle not eating at my normal mealtimes. I realise that is my issue, so I find out the plan, and work round it in terms of taking a snack or eating my previous meal at a different time etc. I don't expect the world to dance around me.

Millie2008 · 02/06/2019 21:28

Other than the food, did you have a nice time at the wedding OP?
Chat and catch up with family/friends?
Have a bit of a dance?
Have a laugh at the cheesy band/DJ?
Enjoy seeing your cousin newly wed and happy?
If so, then maybe try and move on from the feeling of disappointment in the food and focus on the fun enjoyable parts Smile

Raindropsonroses27 · 02/06/2019 21:51

This sort of attitude really worries me for my own wedding which I'm in the early stages of planning. We are on a budget and while I'll probably put some food on in the evening it will likely be something along the lines of hog roast/butties or some outside vendor (lots around here do pizzas and takeout style food) rather than a huge offering.

I just don't understand why people have to be so precious and ungrateful. Do you really expect the hosts to cater individually for every single guest? If food is provided and it's not something you particularly enjoy or think is 'appropriate' then sorry but tough. I would never want someone to feel uncomfortable at any event I'm hosting but how on earth can you please everyone?!

I literally dread anyone having the snooty, superior views that I've seen on here at my wedding. I'd be mortified and very hurt. Thankfully I don't think I know too many people who would be so shallow. Most of my family and friends realise that they are coming to celebrate our big day not get a personalised meal.

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/06/2019 21:52

Another idiot who thinks turning up at the specified time is 'banging the doors down'
Just because views are asked for doesn't mean people writing stupid bull like that aren't being total goady fuckers!

OP posts:
cheesenpickles · 02/06/2019 21:54

We didn't provide any food for our evening guests (couldn't afford it as my "d"f pulled out of paying the reception at the last minute). My brother went out and bought my closest family kebabs and brought them into the fancy hotel. The staff came round appalled and my brother allegedly said "honestly, some people have NO class! Who would do that?!" Then snuck off and tucked into his XL donner. GrinGrinGrin

Pinkyyy · 02/06/2019 21:58

OP your last post was unnecessary and you're now being very rude to people. I think you've made your point and you ought to leave it there now.

BackforGood · 02/06/2019 22:19

Wow. You are rude.

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