To completely object to

[WithAllIntenseAndPurposes]

Not only being lucky enough to make the evening only invite list but then when you arrive to be served a sausage bap for your evening meal

I would feel pretty mean if I invited people to my house 'to dance' and didn't offer any food besides a sausage bap. That's it no sides, veggie options, etc. Fair enough if you tell them it's a bring and share and BYOB but weddings generally aren't. I'd just feel that was really stingy hosting.

@Likeamovbie

It's around an extra £1500 just for the sandwiches for 50 people. That's for the cheapest shithole in our area.

Hang on, what the fuck? Is there an accidental 0 on there or are they seriously charging £30 per sandwich?

I wouldn't be impressed by a sausage bap in the lap of my expensive new dress for the wedding either unless I'd been told in advance so I could decline the invite eat in advance.

Is it normal for people to buy expensive new dresses for an evening wedding invite?

As buffet is more than sandwiches and vol-au-vents

Unless you're one of the CFs at a buffet who piles their plate as high as they can.

Agree with every word Kanga says too. It's about being a host and looking after your guests.

It doesn't matter if you're serving caviar and lobster, or baked potatoes and salad. It's about recognising that your job as a HOST of an event is to do the basics of making sure people are fed, comfortable and happy. Why wouldn't you want to provide food and hospitality to your friends and family? On what planet would it be OK to invite someone to attend an event and then neglect to look after them?

It's downright RUDE. It's like inviting someone over for Christmas dinner and giving them a pre-packed £1.99 ready meal from Iceland. Yes it's food. Yes it's (probably) edible. But it's not the norm and in that situation nobody would be telling the OP to shut up and stop being an "entitled bitch" or suggesting she nips out to McDonalds.

Thanks OP, from this thread I've learned that my Scottish/Irish background has a lot in common with Zambians when it comes to wedding. My granny would have been so, so offended if people had left any event she'd hosted hungry. She was the one who was chasing people as they were leaving shouting "are you sure you can't manage another wee scone?"

The cost of a wedding these days is extremely expensive, most young couples now pay for their own. Recently I have looked at many different packages and lots of hotels now do the bacon/sausage roll evening buffet which comes in at no less than £8 per head. If you add this to the amount of the meal, dresses, photographers, cars, venue, DJ etc it is quite a daunting amount. To all of you that complain about this I can only say that I would actually rather buy my own meal, drink and gift than have the B&G getting themselves into financial problems just so that I can indulge myself. I feel privileged to have an invite to someone's celebration and if the invite is to the evening reception and the buffet is a full spread or a roll with sausage I don't mind. Be happy for family and friends at their happy time, join in their celebration (If asked) and don't begrudge them a small gift be grateful they thought of you at all.

But totaldogsbody - there is no rule which says you have to have cars, DJs, flowers and all the rest of it. Or a reception at a hotel which is obviously the most expensive option.

Personally, if it were me getting married, I'd arrive in an Uber, do my own hair and make up and play music through a playlist on a phone rather than ask people to either be hungry or buy their own food. The very basics should be feeding people. The rest of it is just incidental.

My granny would have been so, so offended if people had left any event she'd hosted hungry. She was the one who was chasing people as they were leaving shouting "are you sure you can't manage another wee scone?"

OP ate the roll and sausage, she at no point said that it was one per person. She just turned her nose at it. They could have put on a buffet with food she didn't like either, where would it end? OP went to the reception expecting to eat her dinner.

I would actually rather buy my own meal, drink and gift than have the B&G getting themselves into financial problems ....

It doesn't have to be one or the other, surely. The B&G could cut down on other areas, or just not have an evening do, if they can't afford to host it properly. By which I mean at least a basic buffet with veggie option and a choice of juice, tea or coffee.

I would feel a right cheeky fucker expecting people to spend money on attending my wedding where the bar serves extortionately expensive drinks only for them to be given a measly bap however other people think
I'm a cf for thinking that

We don't want to spend a lot, so we aren't. It's not a law that you have to. BUT we have prioritised food & drink. Completely free bar, BBQ and I've not decided on the evening buffet yet. But, in order to do so we are having it in a lovely country pub that aren't charging to do the music or for staff or anything, just price per head for the food. Everyone will have a good time regardless of where we are, as we are being decent hosts.

Sausage in a bap is quite lame lol I’d be very disappointed!

OP, I think you're a right CF for complaining that you should be fed a full meal because you gave an expensive gift! You really do need to change your expectations. You are not going to this do to be fed. You are going to celebrate, with the B&G, their wedding. In this case, it involved a party with a sausage in a roll, presumably while the DJ or band had their break. Fine, you thought it was inadequate. It was what they wanted and you sneering at it just shows how utterly mannerless and entitled you are.

And you still haven't answered the burning question - was it pork, beef, venison, link or square sausage?

There's a massive gulf between a full meal and a bread roll and sausage

Why should anyone be dissapointed in the evening food being a sausage roll. Food at the evening reception is traditionally offered so that guests can soak up the alcohol so a roll with sausage is the ideal. It used to be common for people to have a large finger buffet at weddings but now weddings start later in the day and invited day guests now sit down at around 5.30 to a 3 or 4 course meal. They are not really looking for much later on and as evening invites are normally from 7 a large buffet interrupts the party which is why sausage /bacon rolls have become popular. Elizza9929 I hope you have an absolutely wonderful time on your day sounds lovely, good luck.

17 pages about a sausage roll.

Perhaps you should try to move on from such a traumatic experience, OP.

I agree, Donkey. I'd find it really embarrassing. Seems to be the trend now, to offer something paltry to eat so can have a hotel or fripperies yet expect guests to travel and give you money. That's shocking. I've been to dry weddings that had plenty to eat and drink and even bring and share weddings where even then the hosts had laid on more than a sausage bap for guests. Stingy, poor hosting would be shocking in some cultures but English people seem to see it as fine so guess that's how they are.

Food at the evening reception is traditionally offered so that guests can soak up the alcohol

At £9 a glass I doubt there'd be much alcohol needing to be soaked up!

Have some of you honestly not stopped to think that maybe some people do t have a limitless budget and actually just thought their friends and family might like to come along just to help celebrate the special day without being provided with caviar and a paid bar?

English people seem to see it as fine so guess that's how they are.

No, this is not how 'they' are. I'm English, and I don't think it's fine, so please let's not have sweeping generalisations about English people. You don't even know if all the people having a go at the op are English.

What's ruder, a sausage sandwich or spending the whole of your cousin's wedding posting about the sausage sandwich on Mumsnet? The big question is, was it red sauce, brown sauce or no sauce at all?

@LittleCandle has hit the nail on the head.

It's sneery and rude to look down on someone's food offering. You were fed you were just stuck up about it

It was in the week @Saucy99 I wasn't posting from there

I would actually rather buy my own meal, drink and gift than have the B&G getting themselves into financial problems just so that I can indulge myself.

I don't think eating something somewhat filling over the course of an entire evening when you'll probably be drinking is indulging yourself. It's just the very minimum of hosting. It's fine if you can only afford a small wedding or a wedding in a less extravagant venue but you can't invite people then not cater for them.