If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

You've fixed on one female do tor in o e practice and think the rest of the women in the world should adjust their preferences because of her.

Completely irrelevant, but when I’m World Dictator, saying “what’s in their pants” or “what’s between their legs” will be a capital offence

Personally, I think it’s important.

For me, there is a difference and those differences should be respected. One is not better than the other, nor should one be treated the same as the other. They should be treated equally and with respect.

But now what's happened is the worst of all worlds. So yes, it is a woman Dr doing it but she's awful. So are you saying that is providing a good service to the female patients who are forced to see her?

Exactly, how is that better

I think there are some really disingenuous posts. I'm surprised that a nurse can be so unaware of the percentage of female assault victims in any population, or that when men are victims it is statistically more likely the perpetrator is male.

If the majority of men were made severely uncomfortable or re-traumatised being nursed by females then there would be a requirement for them to be able to access male staff on demand.

As for female prison staff, surely male prison staff can see that women would be treated differently by male prisoners? That they have to develop a work persona for their own safety? That male prisoners will test them for weakness and compliance?

@DecomposingComposers

Women want a good female doctor. Why can’t they have both? Why do you think a good man is better than a rubbish woman? Why not strive for a good woman.

Until that is the case, providing female care to female patients when they want it is more important than providing a male hcp to those who prefer a man.

Yes, providing it when they want it is very important. But don't force me to accept care from a Dr that I don't want because of your choices.

Well, depending on where you live, there will be women who for cultural or religious reasons wouldn’t be able to see a male doctor. So if the man was the only one able to fit coils..

You've fixed on one female do tor in o e practice and think the rest of the women in the world should adjust their preferences because of her

You seem to be missing the point though if she's the only female doctor in the surgery (ours definitely has more male doctors than female ones) then you're a bit stuffed so to speak as you'd have to see her, wouldn't you....

Iggly - I think what's being referenced is the woke lot who are forever bellowing "What does it matter what someone has between their legs? Genital fetishists!"

The answer is to tackle her awfulness.....

Well yes, but the other female drs didn't want to do it so I guess the only other option is for the surgery to stop offering coil fitting altogether.

Women want a good female doctor.
Some do, yes.
Why can’t they have both?
They can.

Why do you think a good man is better than a rubbish woman? Why not strive for a good woman.

I'd MUCH rather see a good male doctor than a rubbish female doctor.
That's a strange question. You go for the decent doctor of course.

Iggly - I think what's being referenced is the woke lot who are forever bellowing "What does it matter what someone has between their legs? Genital fetishists!

Ooookay.....

It doesn't mean you're "woke" just because you don't mind which doctor.

OOOOOHHHH you're all horrible women who just won't accept the proper order of things 🙄

Of course nobody should have to see a crap doctor. But that’s another thread. If a practice can only afford to have one doctor trained to insert coils it has to be a woman.

OOOOOHHHH you're all horrible women who just won't accept the proper order of things

Actually not got a clue what you're on about now, sorry.

Absolutely, Bertrand, if choice isn’t possible then it needs to be a woman doing it. She should be competent and if she isn’t then that is an issue not to do with her sex and she either needs better training or to be replaced by a competent woman.

If the majority of men were made severely uncomfortable or re-traumatised being nursed by females then there would be a requirement for them to be able to access male staff on demand

That can only happen when sufficient numbers of male nurses are working in the profession though can't it?

Just as there are insufficient numbers of female drs, particularly in some specialties. We could all go and demand female drs tomorrow - there aren't enough for that to happen so we can demand it all we want but it won't happen until there are enough women drs.

And no, I am not ignorant of women who have suffered sexual trauma. I have repeatedly said that I absolutely respect their right to choose but I personally don't make the same choices so I don't want the choices of someone else forced upon me.

Well, depending on where you live, there will be women who for cultural or religious reasons wouldn’t be able to see a male doctor. So if the man was the only one able to fit coils..

Then I guess that they would have the same decision as I have had to make - don't get one. Why is it ok that I have to accept that because they've had to appoint a less competent Dr simply because she is a woman?

If a practice can only afford to have one doctor trained to insert coils it has to be a woman

Well I do agree with that bit so that all the people who need or want female doctors aren't pushed out.
It wasn't just about coils though. It was about female doctors in general so you've conflated the two a bit there.
I'm not disagreeing with if there's only one coil fitter then it should be a woman so that those who can't or won't see a male doctor can go get one fitted.

That's a strange question. You go for the decent doctor of course

Not if you prefer a woman so the answer is to take up the issue with the practice and make a complaint.

Why should women be expected to have a male doctor because people are not able to tackle an issue with performance?

“Why is it ok that I have to accept that because they've had to appoint a less competent Dr simply because she is a woman?”

It isn’t. Her competence is the issue. Complain. Loudly.

So in the meantime the rest of the women who don't mind should just put up the with the female shit doctor whilst she goes through re-training/rethinks her bedside manner whilst there's a perfectly nice, decent male doctor I could be seeing instead?

That was to Iggly's response btw,

People on this thread, though, keep on insisting that NOBODY should have a preference because they don't.

My male doctor is wonderful, I trust him implicitly. I had male gynaes for both births. I recently had a lovely male specialist for a colonoscopy. I don't like the main female doctor in my practise because she's brusque and dismissive, though she's mellowed o er the years as patients drifted to the other doctors in the practise.

But none of that means that I think women shouldn't have the absolute right to ask for female hcps. I was ok with the male colorectal specialist, but would not have been ok with my own lovely doctor poking around in my bum, and he understands that because he's a reasonable, logical person.

And Lime, I wonder if you are unaware of the push against women’s privacy at the moment which is colouring some of the responses. For example, toilets are currently a matter of heated debate - some people are happy with mixed sex toilets and some aren’t. But currently there are complaints at a university installing mixed sex toilets that they are going to be fully enclosed cubicles rather than having gaps above and below the doors as is the case in most single-sex toilets. Because it’s bigotry to protect people’s privacy in the toilet and they should be absolutely fine with not-fully-enclosed cubicles in mixed sex toilets.

Is an extreme point of view, but is bolstered by seemingly innocent comments like ‘what does the shape of someone’s genitals matter?’ ‘So long as the doctor is professional, who cares what they have in their pants?’ It all chips away at women’s boundaries and makes them doubt how reasonable they are to enforce those boundaries. I just want to keep reiterating to women that it is absolutely their right to have space away from men and to only have intimate treatment from women if that is what they want. If they don’t want it, that’s fine for them but because of the inequality in our society in terms of who are the perpetrators and who are the victims when it comes to sexual harassment and assault, we have to protect women first.

Absolutely, Bertrand, if choice isn’t possible then it needs to be a woman doing it. She should be competent and if she isn’t then that is an issue not to do with her sex and she either needs better training or to be replaced by a competent woman.

How do you train someone's personality? And how do they replace her? Can she be sacked? I have no idea. She's a partner so I am assuming unless she does something so bad that she is struck off she is there to stay.

I just can't see how, in this instance, anyone's needs are being met. I have a couple of friends that have seen this Dr and they both said how bad it was and that they won't see her again. How on earth is that meeting women's needs? It just isn't.