If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

Yes, but I find it very difficult to care about the gender of a person in the health care services.
I was the only woman who consented to have a male midwife in with me when I had my second. Apparently 6 other birthing mums that day had refused. That’s sad. He was excellent!
I see it as people. Everyone is just people, regardless of the particular layout of their genitalia.

It’s the old “He changes nappies-he’s a wonderful dad” trope.

Maybe in your view. In my view, people that step outside of gender roles tend to be applauded. That's men and women.

We have celebrations for women in science for example. Don't tend to get the same fuss over encouraging men into nursing or childcare, quite the opposite in fact.

Yes in any scenario and at all times. I just want to be healthy.

I don’t see that as sad Toffee. He might be an excellent professional but it isn’t sad for women to want a female midwife. There was a male midwife at the birth centre I had my first baby in and I really didn’t want him. I saw him for appointments and he was great but I didn’t want him delivering the baby or doing internals. I got told by another midwife it was such a shame so many women refused him - but it isn’t, at all. A man going into midwifery needs to know that al it of women won’t be comfortable with him and that isn’t a hang up we should work on getting over, it is a boundary that should be respected.

To stop male doctors' ? Or for male doctors to decide they don't want to be bothered?

From what I've heard it isn't that the male drs don't want to it's because it's believed that women would rather see a female Dr.

In my surgery one Dr fits coils. I don't like her. I don't like her manner so I asked the Dr that I normally see, who is lovely and always works with me, rather than telling me what he thinks I need to do. He respects my opinion and we find a way to accommodate what I want. He said that he can't fit coils now because you have to do so many every year in order to be validated. In order to fulfill that they had to nominate 1 Dr to do them and because some women might insist on a female Dr they gave that role to a female Dr in order to accommodate those who choose a woman Dr. So actually my choice has been taken away in order to facilitate someone else's choice.

And also, Toffee, please don’t reduce the difference between the sexes to ‘the layout of their genitalia’ as though it’s a trivial issue like height or hair colour. It is a far more significant issue than that.

People with one ‘particular layout’ commit 98% of sexual crime, most violent crime. People with that particular ‘layout’ commit the most harassment, assault, catcalling, groping, pornography consumption, exploitation of prostitutes (who largely have the other layout of genitalia, why is that???) If women aren’t comfortable around men, it’s because of the male behaviour they have heard of, witnessed or experienced every single day of their lives.

Women have a right to set boundaries. Don’t trivialise or minimise them please.

I am saying that there are circumstances where women often feel the need for privacy and to be away from “the male gaze”

Speak for yourself. Not all of us. Ask for another doctor, that's still allowed.

But when it comes to intimate and vulnerable situations, sex segregation should absolutely be the baseline to protect the dignity and privacy of girls and women
Do you mean asking for a female hcp? You still can do that.
I'm not comfortable AT ALL with forced segregation of any kind that some of you seem to want.
Why can't both viewpoints be viable? You ask for your female, and let everyone else who wants to get on with asking for anyone do their thing as well.
I'll carry on ringing up the doctor and just seeing who I get on the day.

Captain - as much as I agree, I do feel he should be allowed to practise his profession as much as any other professional. How is he supposed to get better without real life experience?
I totally understand wanting your own birth team around you, but in reality, a lot of consultants are Male in my area, they are all present at births, so it’s sad to me that these male consultants are allowed to experience births and improve their skills, but because this gent is a midwife not a consultant he’s not able to.
That’s the thing I find sad. I’m not taking away any ladies right to choose her health care providers, but I do think it would be nice for him to gain the same experiences his Male consultant colleagues will get.

CaptainBrickbeard

I sort of agree but the reverse doesn't happen.

I was a nurse working on a male urology ward. We only had 2 male nurses so there wasn't a great chance of 1 being on duty at any particular time. The male patients had no choice at all but to accept very intimate care from female nurses.

So would female nurses accept being told that we can't work on male wards because some men won't be happy?

Decomposing sorry that your choice has been taken away but if it comes down to either allowing women to choose a female hcp or women to choose a male hcp and both of those absolutely cannot be accommodated then it’s more important to accommodate women seeing a female hcp. For all the reasons stated over and over agai I the thread. It isn’t a level playing field. If it comes to competing rights, women’s safety has to come first.

ive found the portrayal of the only difference between men and women as the 'lay out of their genitalia' /'whats in their pants' very interesting. i don't believe thats the only difference myself but its clear many people do.

Decomposing Cross post.

The male patients will have to accept it. When there is a staffing issue, we all might have to decide to receive medical treatment from someone we don’t want or not get the treatment.

I would never trivialise any ladies trauma. I myself have experienced behaviour of the type you describe and whilst I would never want to be put in that situation again, I do trust health care professionals to be professional.
I’ve worked in Male prisons, I know the statistics, yet the female officers were a lot harsher than any of the lads in there!
I’m not saying don’t ask for a female if that’s what’s comfortable for you, but the OP was a personal question, so I answered it as i would feel personally.

CaptainBrickbeard

Sorry, I don't agree. My right to choose is just as valid as your right. In this instance, I have chosen not to have a coil fitted simply because I cannot stand the Dr who does the fitting.

Ok, I'll get over it but if that is then extrapolated throughout the system? No, that isn't fair.

The male patients will have to accept it. When there is a staffing issue, we all might have to decide to receive medical treatment from someone we don’t want or not get the treatment.

So if we move to majority male midwives on a shift then you would accept that?

I see that Toffee but by saying it’s sad for women not to accept the male midwife, you are pushing against their boundaries - only mildly, but you are. It’s a issue male midwives will have to face. If that’s the career they want, they will have to understand they won’t get the same experience as female midwives. It’s not the patients that should have to compromise here.

And as for trusting healthcare professionals to be professional - there is never a guarantee. Predators don’t look different and many are in professional positions.

Lime I’m happy with things the way they are. I have never had a problem getting a woman to do my smear. I do think there is a push against privacy at the moment though coming from suspect quarters and it’s important to keep defending women’s boundaries against any attack.

it’s sad to me that these male consultants are allowed to experience births and improve their skills

I’d rather have female consultants but thanks to the gender gap, they’re few and far between.

It’s worth reading the book “Invisible Women” because this sets out the unconscious (and conscious) bias in the medical profession. Women, time and time again, are not taken seriously when it comes to symptoms - they’re written off as hysterical/hormonal/anxious etc.

So I’d much prefer more female HCPs.

And I’d never have a male midwife. Giving birth is an intimidate experience and the more you take away from that, the harder it is and hence the more complications.

No, Decomposing. Women’s safety, privacy and dignity comes first.

DecomposingComposers Equally, if what your doctor told you about the requirements are true, if you got the male you wanted women who wanted a female doctor would have had their choice taken away. The surgery did a balancing act they considered would suit the most patients.

It's extraordinary how annoyed some posters seem to be about the fact that SOME women prefer a female doctor for SOME procedures or examinations.

I choose a female for all my healthcare needs wherever possible, and always always if its something intimate. Its important to me

Completely irrelevant, but when I’m World Dictator, saying “what’s in their pants” or “what’s between their legs” will be a capital offence.

We don’t live in a society with equality between the sexes.

Women are murdered by men. Women are raped by men. Women are harassed by men. Women are abused, degraded, humiliated and exploited by men. All of these thins also happen to children. All of these things happen every single day all across the world.

As I said yesterday, when that is no longer the case then everyone’s right to choose will become equal.

Until that is the case, providing female care to female patients when they want it is more important than providing a male hcp to those who prefer a man.

It's quite interesting in regards to this female GP too because I doubt that any woman is happy that she is the nominated Dr. So actually, is anyone getting their needs met here? Is it really better to have a female Dr who is awful?

Is it really better to have a female Dr who is awful?

The answer is to tackle her awfulness.....

Outanabout

But now what's happened is the worst of all worlds. So yes, it is a woman Dr doing it but she's awful. So are you saying that is providing a good service to the female patients who are forced to see her?