If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

Yes, absolutely. The key is in the word ‘professionals’

@OP no - you're not talking in general terms. Your talking about your experiences and extrapolating. I am sorry to hear you've had a rough time but I and many others on this thread have not had the same rough experiences as you. So to say you are talking in general terms is not right.

I've had male and female doctors, radiographers and nurses. For my current pregnancy I've had a female and male obgyn. Honestly both have been wonderful, kind and sensitive. My baby will be delivered by a male doctor in a week or so and he's been so caring and just a bloody nice bloke. And good at what he does. He has shown no less understanding of the female body than my female obgyn had when I was seeing her.

I've had 2 lots of (non intimate area) surgery in my life and both surgeons were male. The most serious surgery was carried out by a man whose work was amazing. I didn't like him and I'm not sure many did like him but blimey is he good at what he does. I don't think my dislike of him was due to him being a man. I'm sure there are women out there with a similar bedside manner. But ultimately he did an outstanding job of what I needed and I would go to him again if I needed to. Which he said was a real possibility. My other surgeon was also good but not as competent although much nicer. I was awake for that surgery and he was super sensitive to my needs. The work he did was OK but I would have had misery guts surgeon a million times over because his work was better.

My smears have always been women although I wouldn't mind if it were a man. I've had female radiographers for mammograms although male for other things that involved being naked from the waist up. All amazing and caring and delicate and sensitive.

I've had hundreds of bloods taken by men and women and can't recall any difference between them except they've all been very nice.

I didn't like the female nurses on one of my post-op recovery wards but they were overworked and likely underpaid so I took their crankiness with a pinch of salt.

I have been sexually harassed and suffered mild assault as have many women but never raped or come even close to that level of awful abuse. So maybe my experiences are based on different perspectives too. I think the important thing here is our previous experiences can colour our current and future ones and people should be given the opportunity to make choices based on that. But that's just my 2p worth. Again, not generalizing except to say we are all different with differing needs.

*You're not your.

Blimey. I need another cup of tea.

“Yes, absolutely. The key is in the word ‘professionals’”

Well, it’s not, really. The OP is not asking whether we want to be treated by a professional or an unprofessional HCP. That would be an entirely different thread.

I haven’t RTFT I’m sorry but from personal experience you should be able to request women.

I was attacked by a man last year, I would have hated the morning after a male HCP in the crisis centre treating me, unfair maybe but in a state of trauma I get to choose.

This year I then had to have a cervical polyps removed, I thought I’d be ok with a male HCP as if never bothered me before. I wasn’t, he tried talking to be while treating me inside and me having to look down at him and I totally freaked. The very lovely nurse (who knew the circumstances) intervenes.

I then found I need more treatment, she is capable of doing it, but he felt he should be allowed. She override him quite firmly and he was less than happy about it.

Is it fair of me and her? I don’t know. As I apologised to him whilst very upset. It’s not his fault I’m traumatised, but maybe, when I’d asked for a female in the fist place, it should have been respected and he wouldn’t have been put in the position of us both being uncomfortable.

Before this event I would never have seen the need. Now I do.

Personally I don't mind the sex of the HCP, if it was an intimate procedure/examination I would expect a female chaperone to be present as much for them as for me.

Interesting to note how several pp have recounted their personal anecdote with a poor woman medic; and used that to make a point of saying how that means they now summarily dismiss all women practitioners as vicious uncaring witches.

Whereas pp who've had a bad experience with a male have tended to say they realise it was probably a one-off exception to perfectly decent male medical staff.

OK. So how about a situation where the expectation is that a HCP providing intimate care should be the same sex as the patient and anyone who wants the other sex can ask for that?

No. Firstly because it hugely limits choice - there are fewer female drs, certainly in my GP practice and also within certain specialties so how long are waiting lists going to be if we are all directed to the female drs?

You can choose to have the same sex hcp if you want. I will support that campaign absolutely to make sure that you have that right.

I expect you to equally support my right to choose, and I choose any HCP who is suitably qualified and competent, regardless of their sex.

Why are you so desperate to force everyone to conform to what you want?

why is a shared XX chromosome so much more important than race/religion/culture/sexuality/economic status/disability/mental health/reproductive status?

Because it’s not their race/religion/mental health/reproductive status that has made so many women feel that they’re not comfortable with a male practitioner, but the fact that they have a penis. They can have any or all of the above, but so long as they’re a woman, I prefer them to do my care.

That’s an excellent observation BuzzShitbagBobbly and shows up the internal misogyny that so many women have.

The reference to chaperones is quite interesting as well. I had an internal ultrasound last year - female radiographer doing the scan, male chaperone.

Few weeks ago I had another one. Male radiologist did it with a female chaperone. Just had my next appointment through for 2 weeks time and it's the same male radiologist.

“Why are you so desperate to force everyone to conform to what you want?”

Why are you so desperate to misrepresent me? It’s very odd.

Why are you so desperate to force everyone to conform to what you want?

Why are you so desperate to manipulate what is being said? Having an expectation of being treated by someone of the same sex is not being forced. You can ask for someone if the opposite sex, but it would help some women feel less under pressure to have a nan examine/treat them for fear of seeming unreasonable. I agree we don’t have enough female doctors, but that isn’t actually the point that the poster was making.

That’s an excellent observation BuzzShitbagBobbly and shows up the internal misogyny that so many women have.

Except that it isn't accurate is it? I have seen posts on here from posters saying that they refuse male drs now because of an experience and I don't recall seeing any saying I've had 1 bad experience with a female Dr so therefore I refuse all female drs.

People are using their bad experiences with female drs to show that simply being female is no guarantee of good treatment and that female drs can be just as disinterested, dismissive or rough as male drs.

Sorry, by the poster, I meant Bertrand.

Women are often seen as representatives of their sex. So a crap woman prime minister means that women are crap at being prime minister. Crap men are just individual crap men. And, by extension, a man who does a traditionally female job is often given lots of credit for just doing it at all. There are very few man midwives for example, but lots of mumsnetters have had one and they are all the most caring and gentle and understanding practitioners they have ever met.....

S1naidSucks

Because the person with a specific need is surely the one who makes the accommodation?

I am happy to be treated by anyone. I do not specifically want a female Dr so why should I have to be disadvantaged because of something that you want?

If you want a female HCP then ask for one. Why do I have to be forced to join a longer queue in order to accommodate what you want?

I'm a nurse. I've never known it to be a big deal with a patient asks for a female HCP, we just accept that's how they feel and get on with it. We might offer a chaperone but ultimately if someone has a strong preference I don't see the issue. I don't understand why anyone would make it a problem? It's valid to have a preference for comfort. If someone objected to a HCP because of their birth gender after they'd transitioned I'd feel quite differently.

Personally I'm not fussed. Personal examinations are awkward and uncomfortable either way!

It’s the old “He changes nappies-he’s a wonderful dad” trope.

As long as they are professional I don’t care.

I had a breast lump last year and my (female) GP dismissed it. I got a second opinion from another GP (male) who examined me and fast tracked me for a scan, I ended up having a massive fluid lump removed, by a a male doctor. I’m glad I didn’t waste time specifying which sex was allowed to treat me.

I am not fussed but actually find male doctors gentler. My dad said the same!

DecomposingComposers I'm lost. Why would you have to join a longer queue? Wouldn't you have a shorter queue because you're ok with either sex?

BertrandRussell

Because I dare say that male midwives feel that they have to work harder and be better just to overcome the sexist views that they face. Just like women who work in male dominated careers surely?

Part of the problem with female midwives, in my experience, is that they felt that they knew it all and knew what it felt like because they had had a couple of kids. So they were dismissive, they did their level best to talk me out of pain relief, they were less than gentle. I was in labour for a very long time so probably had about 12 different midwives - only about 4 or 5 of them were caring, compassionate, listened to what I needed.

SinisterBumFacedCat Wow, you're the second person I've seen on this thread talking about lumps in the breast as if there's a perception they can be ignored - you didn't do that obviously, but the previous poster didn't go to the doctor about it until a (male) physio confirmed she should. What's going on with health education, and doctor's education, that lumps in breasts have slipped off the radar?

DecomposingComposers I'm lost. Why would you have to join a longer queue? Wouldn't you have a shorter queue because you're ok with either sex?

Not if seeing the female drs was the default. At what point in the process do I request seeing any Dr?

Several posters on here have reported wanting to see a particular GP who they feel is better or they prefer only to be told that he won't do an internal examination, they have to re book to see a female GP or that only a female GP fits coils so the move is already being made to stop male drs being able to treat women in some instances.

That is taking away my choice to see the Dr that I choose to see. I don't want to take away your choice so why is it ok for anyone to demand practices that removes my choice?

'To stop male doctors' ? Or for male doctors to decide they don't want to be bothered?