If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

I don’t mind who I see as long as they can help me feel better. But totally understand why some people would feel differently.

In theory I don't care whether the HCP is male or female as long as they are competent but the practice nurses at my surgery are all female and so is the GP who does Mirena coils so although I think I would be ok with a male HCP doing my smear or changing my Mirena I don't actually know I would be IYSWIM

I suppose it brought the discourse around periods into my mind because I think we need to distinguish between shame motivated “don’t let the men see” secrecy and a perfectly natural and acceptable reticence and desire for dignity.

You've found the one word that was eluding me reading through the whole discussion - dignity. I know the discussion has evolved into a discussion on intimate procedures, but as one poster commented, discussing your discharge with a man is uncomfortable. It's clinical and unnatural. I would discuss the intimate fine details of my upcoming gynae procedure and the reasons why I need it with my mother. Would I discuss anything other than 'it's just a gynae appointment' with my Dad? Hell no!

I do agree though that you get some nasty assed women HCPs and some genuinely caring male HCPs, I was just asking a random question really I suppose and hadn't thought through my thoughts on it myself even.

Thanks for engaging in the discussion btw. You've managed to make my thoughts on it clearer. And dignity is the word that is most what I'm concerned about.

Thanks to the one male contributor
Eh? Did the poster say they were male?!
Apologies if they did but I saw that comment and didn't see where they specified.
How would you even know the sex of any one on here?!

How would you even know the sex of any one on here?!

The poster didn’t specify. He is, however, male.

Not the poster you quoted but I have a ridiculous memory for usernames!

On the other hand, I feel sorry for female HCPs having to deal with males half the time.
Two anecdotes come to mind.

1. A friend had broken his collar bone. The doctor asked him to take off his shirt to examine him. He was struggling one-handed to unbutton the shirt so the doctor asked him if she should help. His conclusion? She was flirting with him.
2. Again a male friend who had some weird notion that a doctor checking his testicles was in fact attracted to him.

I've also a friend who used to work in a care home for the elderly. She said the men would get erections while she was washing them. Eugh..

I had a male gynaecologist throughout my prgenancy. In this country we have a lot of gyno appointments as a matter of course so I saw him about once a month. Every time I went he gave me an internal, which fucking hurt, and one time he snapped at me “There is no pain! How will you deliver?” He rolled his eyes at me during childbirth, performed procedures without consent, and made me cry at a follow up appointment. He was a dick.

Why do men who despise women go into these professions?

Eh? Did the poster say they were male?! confused
Apart from his entitled outrage that women might NOT want men involved in everything, his username starts with MAN.

Hahahahahaha yes I noticed that. Even without having MAN in the name, the name always has a bit of a give-away anyway.

They can't help but declare themselves.......

Apart from his entitled outrage that women might NOT want men involved in everything, his username starts with MAN

To be fair although he is indeed male, I believe his username is MANC-life and not “man”.

I've also a friend who used to work in a care home for the elderly. She said the men would get erections while she was washing them. Eugh..

But that's often a physiological response, not necessarily that they are aroused by it. I've seen it happen when unconscious patients are being washed. In care homes as well, where you may be caring for patients who have dementia or have had a stroke they may loose their inhibition. Just as I've seen elderly ladies stripping off their clothes etc. Anyone working with patients, particularly in care homes, should know this.

Yes

Why do men who despise women go into these professions?

Surely the same can be said for the female HCPs who tell you that smears don't hurt so stop making a fuss, or to stop complaining about periods because they aren't that bad or, my favourite, the midwife who told me off when I started crying with pain in early labour because "how would I cope with the real thing"?

He didn't have to declare himself. It was apparent that he was a man just by his attitude.

So someone with a different view is automatically a man. FFS MN never disappoints lol.
The word man is in the title so must be a man even though it was manc - life as you just said.
Oookay....

No - a man with an attitude problem on a thread discussing men = a man. He probably thought it was a clever way to announce his manhood.

The word man is in the title so must be a man even though it was manc - life as you just said

I said it was Manc-life. I know he’s a man as he was very open about it on another thread.

I think you’re confusing posters because the OP is themselves very confusing

He made zero contribution to the thread apart from to try to denigrate me for starting the thread. Of course he was a man.

Sorry - why am I confusing?

I have to say that in hospital after surgery I found the women mean and uncaring and the male hcp actually gave a shit. Women came out with comments like 'don't cry' or 'it doesn't hurt', unless you have just had it done to you how the fuck do you know?! If the person is the best available then it shouldn't matter what sex they were born as.

Because you said

They can't help but declare themselves

And then literally the next post said

He didn't have to declare himself

Look. You’re losing sight of the point of the thread by a bee in a bonnet over ONE poster. Despite other men posting (one of whom agreed wholeheartedly with you)

It was apparent it was a man by his attitude.
Bloody hell it gets better. You can't know by words alone on a thread.
If someone else knows from a thread elsewhere where they said, then fair enough.
The detective I spy a man game because somebody said something they don't like is what's ridiculous lol.
Newsflash - women are all different. Just like men are.
Individuals.

I have mostly male doctors and often feel more comfortable with them than with women. I think they go to greater trouble to make you comfortable. It was my male physio actually who had a good prod of my boob and sent me to the GP when I mentioned a breast lump. Thankfully it was harmless but I'm glad that I was comfortable enough with him to ask his opinion as I wouldn't have gone to the GP otherwise.