If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

Yes I am fine with Male staff, even intimate stuff. Prefer males for intimate stuff, the few females I’ve had, they were rough

I prefer to see a female GP for anything I might be examined with as males GPs then need a chaperone (at my practice anyway) and for me the less people in the room the better.
When I’ve had internal examinations in hospital there’s always a female nurse or midwife so a man doesn’t worry me in that scenario

BertrandRussell - my bad phrasing! I got that. Some areas of medicine should only be open to women practitioners, I meant I saw you as saying.

Maybe it’s an age thing too.

I wonder if this was part of it.

I'm fine now with male HCP but as a teen I wouldn't have been, and I'm wondering watching my Mum if I won't be when older as well.

I’m really not sure what the sustained picking at Bertrand’s posts is for either. It doesn’t seem particularly productive.

Yes, I agree. It’s a shame they’re not as determined to argue with the posters that are dismissing the females who want only women HCPs dealing with them.

@EatenAlltheEasterEggs I’ve had the same experience many times having ECGs and the Stress Test. The first time I was 15 and my Dad had been the person taking me for the ECG. He wasn’t allowed in and it wasn’t explained to me that the procedure involved being topless and my breast being touched and lifted. The guy that did the ECG was about 25 as you say in a polo shirt and joggers and never explained anything or offered to get a female or a chaperone. He was very abrupt and not at all reassuring and he got angry because my heart rate was fast because I was anxious and trying not to show it. I came from a very strict religious overprotective background with Muslim and Catholic Asian family members where this kind of thing is unthinkable/forbidden and had my parents known they would have insisted on a female HCP. I was mortified and shocked that this young man just lifted my breast without explaining or asking consent. I was in a vulnerable position. Especially given the experience I’ve shared early on in the thread.

I’ve since had ECGs many times and know that this is part of it and am now prepared. However it’s only female HCPs who have actually taken the time to say “I’ve just got to attach this under your breast” or even asked me to lift my breast myself and allowed me to wear a gown for privacy only lifting it when they needed or attaching it by manoeuvring under my bra. Much better than having to lie there exposed or being touched without consent, especially when you for a young girl like I once was who had never had her breasts touched before. I still look back on that experience and cringe at how awful and shocked I felt. Having to be topless jogging on the treadmill was embarrassing too and I definitely preferred having a female HCP present for that as opposed to solely men in the room. Again, based on my previous negative experiences.

I wasn't picking, just genuinely confused and wondering as the posts were very contradictory and unclear.
If we're ideally all to be women only hcp according to some, where does like a pp say that leave people who's mum might be away when their periods start?
If posters are saying it should be women only for stuff like periods, where does that leave them?
Surely it's better if men did know more about that kind of stuff, it's something completely normal and not to be hidden away as only womens problems after all.
Would make for more awareness, it's not a dirty secret.

Interestingly I recently saw a male doctor in regard to going on HRT. I didn’t think about it until I was waiting in the waiting room and someone mentioned the doctor was a ‘he’. I was sitting there wondering if it was going to be really weird discussing the menopause with a man and talking about vaginal dryness for example. But actually it was completely fine, no problems. So maybe some of it is just unnecessary anxiety when the reality is the complete opposite.

Fine with period chat, tops off etc with male HCP. But for my coil fitting I would have hated having a man poking around down there. Not sure how I'd feel about smear test (yet to be called for one) but it's similar so I can imagine feeling similarly.
All bar one male nurse I have absolutely loved. When I give blood I always want a man. They keep me way calmer (I'm scared of needles) and last time I had a woman i got a punctured artery (I know to was nothing to do with her being a woman but I'm now vv bias towards male nurses)

Statistically women are ore dismissive of female related health problems than male doctors.
I’d love to see those statistics. Do you have a source?

OP. I initially thought it was a pretty sensible question. But your updates are getting more ridiculous. You definitely lost me with I think the men see you as an object. I’m not at all sure you’re on the level with that.

I have no issue with either male or female staff doing or observing any procedure I may need. I’ve never felt the need to express a preference for anything and I’ve had some very “personal” stuff done. I do, however, think that if someone requests a female (or indeed a male!) that their request is absolutely reasonable and should be accommodated without question. That is to say they should be provided with a HCP who is biologically male or female, not just identifying as one.

So maybe some of it is just unnecessary anxiety when the reality is the complete opposite.

It could be but that anxiety could well be difference in getting my teen or DMum to a HCP especially in a timely fashion - and I don't think we need more barriers.

I spoke to male and female GP about my pre kids really heavy periods and found them all equally as dismissive and uninterested – so I agree the sex of the HCP isn’t always as relevant as you’d expect beforehand .

Another thing I’m concerned about is the fact that women need to explain themselves when it comes to things like this. I’m not worried about a male HCP assaulting me, or triggering me. I don’t necessarily think a woman would be better at the job or more empathetic or more understanding. I would just prefer a woman. Simple as that. Women always have to have reasons. “Because that’s what I want” is never enough.

Do men get a choice?
I’ve never thought about it, but there must be plenty of men who would rather discuss intimate matters with a male doctor rather than a female one.

Men should have a choice too, of course.

Would prefer a lady doctor for more personal issues TBH. If routine would not mind a man .If really desperate will accept male doc .They really have seen it all before, but sometimes you want to feel comfortable with the situation

tomtom I think everyone should have the right to request a same sex hcp, definitely.

I bet a man would be listened to if he said he wanted another man to examine his penis. But a lot of men would probably also rather have a woman because a man putting a finger up his bottom would feel a bit gay. I wish I was joking.

The only HCPs I have had being dismissive where both over pregnancy concerns and both were female. The male doctors took me seriously and acted swiftly as I was right. If I had listened to the female HCP in pregnancy 1 I could have died, in pregnancy 2 I would have been sent home less than an hour before a premature delivery.

tomtom1999xx

In my experience as a nurse, no men don't get the option to choose. I think attitudes such as

But a lot of men would probably also rather have a woman because a man putting a finger up his bottom would feel a bit gay. I wish I was joking.

Are disgusting. That's why men's feelings about choosing to have male HCPs are dismissed, because people have attitudes like that.

Just imagine if someone came on here and made that comment about women preferring male drs to do internal examinations because they would find a woman doing it to be a bit gay? That is a disgusting comment.

Outanabout, the receptionist didn't intentionally look at my vagina, but stood at the foot of the bed behind the curtain with me and watched the doctor examine me. She would have seen my vagina though.

Yes. Have never requested a female and have had vaginal issues seem to by a Male doctor. Contraception and STI checks also sorted with a mix of Male and female. My nurses have almost always been women though so lots of bits have been done by them.

I'm fine being nude with most people tbh I don't see anything sexual in being naked for a doctor - I don't really think about it, I hung out naked in my house until I was 12 and my mum told me I had to wear something 😂 my sisters a doctor and she just tells me they don't give a shit what they see - they have to smell their finger after performing a rectal exam on octogenarian men so they're not really looking to get excited between that and the kid with tonsillitis.

I haven't had a bad experience with men though - it's OK to not be comfortable with it. My best friend is a child sex abuse survivor and she always requests women. Sometimes she has me come with her so even the women can't be alone with her if it's of an intimate nature - she trusts me implicitly so am happy to go and help her giggle through a smear.

My male GP has given me better advise about the female reproductive system than any other medical professional I've seen 😂 so at this point I would trust him with anything! He's a star 🌟

Do men get a choice?

Yes, they do. If they requested Male HCAs those dealing with him would do their best to accommodate. There is the added difficulty that nurses and HCAs are mainly female, so it’s more difficult to provide that same sex service.

There is the added difficulty that nurses and HCAs are mainly female, so it’s more difficult to provide that same sex service.

Which is what I meant in my comment - men usually don't have a choice and they do just have to accept the staff on duty and when it comes to nurses they are more likely to be female.