If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

Having known a few medical students, I prefer a female doctor or nurse for intimate procedures if possible.

Do the women on here saying that they don’t mind either way understand why some women might feel differently? And the reasons why they might feel that way?

Bertrand I don't care in the slightest whether it's a male or female doctor.
Others do though and that's fair enough.
We're all different.

Even though I've had a couple of experiences of male HCPs being somewhat inappropriate in the past, it hasn't bothered me enough to not want a male to examine me since.

My GP was so kind that I developed a minor crush so it was a bit weird when he was forced to do an internal (possible infection after coil fitting), but otherwise I'm not overly fussed.

I do Bertrand but not all men are abusers. If I was ill or my baby's life was at risk I'd want the best doctor possible and if he ir she had horns and scales but could save my child's life sobeit.

My baby's life was not saveable but the male specialists involved were far more wise and empathic than the female nurses and midwives tbf.

Bearing in mind I was inappropriately touched by a male doctor at 18, no. I'd like the right to choose.

Do the women on here saying that they don’t mind either way understand why some women might feel differently? And the reasons why they might feel that way?

Have you missed the countless posts from women who have quite clearly said just that?

Captain you are a

And in response to the idea that privacy is a socially constructed idea - why is that a bad thing? Not all social constructs are negative. Our decision that eating our own kind is a social construct. So is not murdering people. So is the widely held belief that rape is bad. They are all socially constructed ideals to keep human being from descending into anarchy, chaos and destruction. Social constructs are what separate us from the animals. I'm happy to keep my privacy thanks!

Bertrand - yes of course, I'm neither ignorant nor naive. The fact remains however that I personally don't mind. Others do and that is absolutely their choice and right. Everyone should do what is right for them.

I understand why some women may be uncomfortable; culture,trauma,sexual assault or just general preference etc

I personally have no preference as it was a male gynaecologist sorting out my abnormal smear cells and a male doctor who performed an episiotomy to get my LO one out in an emergency situation. He also sat for 20+ minutes stitching me up.

I personally don't mind but can appreciate why others do. However it may then be difficult to get appointments if waiting for a female doctor/consultant.

Yeah, completely fine. I've had wonderful male and female HCPs, and awful male and female HCPs. Can't see any correlation to whatever might be between their legs.

I personally don't mind

Though every smear test I smear to get the student who needs to observed thrust on me in such a way I feel I can’t object, and I did feel even more uncomfortable with the one male student observing despite female nurse doing it– I was fairly young early 20s I think protocols were different about when they were needed.

I didn't care about the male doctor in first labour.

Other than that, I’ve had no problems - so that's going to affect my opinion.

However, for anything intimate it would I think make the difference between my current teenage DD accessing medical care and increasingly my Mum doing so as well.

I think for more general medical needs it’s more about how competent the HCP comes across.

I had a hot male doctor at one point and just could not bring myself to show him my bits or discuss anything remotely intimate!

I had a male gynaecologist throughout my prgenancy. In this country we have a lot of gyno appointments as a matter of course so I saw him about once a month. Every time I went he gave me an internal, which fucking hurt, and one time he snapped at me “There is no pain! How will you deliver?” He rolled his eyes at me during childbirth, performed procedures without consent, and made me cry at a follow up appointment. He was a dick.

Of course I’m sure he is very much in the minority amongst male practitioners but if I get pregnant again I’m getting a female gynaecologist.

@CaptainBrickbeard

But the OP asked us if, individually, we are bothered about a male HCP treating us. Many of us have said no, we are happy to be treated by either male or female HCPs.

That's not saying that everyone should be the same, that is answering the question asked in the OP - Do I mind being treated by an HCP? No I don't.

That's my choice. Just as it might be your choice to be treated by a female doctor.

bertrand

I did say for me

I think everyone should have the choice as to who touches them. It's really that simple and any half decent dr should know its not personal. And yes that means I fully support men wanting Male carers or Male drs for examinations also.

Medicine is surely all about consent. Or not should be. If you dont consent and the patient had capacity to consent and they go ahead they can get sued for assault cant they?

Decomposing that’s fine. But some posters haven’t just responded that they’re happy with male doctors but understand other women wouldn’t be. There have been accusations of bigotry and there has been minimisation and ridicule of women’s legitimate fears and anxieties. I was responding to those rather than just the question in the OP.

There just seems to be an underlying vibe that the women who do mind are being unreasonable or snowflakey and the “proper” way to be is not to mind. And there is also a suggestion that minding must mean that you are worried about abuse or inappropriate behaviour.

No I am not comfortable with all scenarios, but some I am fine with. I've had four children and in three of my pregnancies I've had internal examinations with male doctors. This has not bothered me as this is their profession and there has always been female nurses present and was a hospital situation.
Also, there have been males in the room while I've given birth by c section each time. Again, I wasn't bothered.
However, I think for more intimate procedures that are carried out in the doctor's surgery by a GP, I prefer a female. I had pain in my breasts and had a female doctor examine me. I'm not sure why but I didn't like the idea of a male doctor feeling my boobs.

The privacy issue is interesting. When I refused to be examined behind a curtain, listening to details of the woman's vagina in the next cubicle, the female midwife dismissed my concerns. So I left and complained. All following apts were with a v kind male obstetrician who was empathic and understanding and he was 60 22 years ago.

I have found privacy more violated by female nurses "we're all women here" than by male or female doctors.

For all those who feel a male dr has behaved inappropriately may I ask whether you complained and if not why not? For as long as patients remain passive there will not be improvements.

There just seems to be an underlying vibe that the women who do mind are being unreasonable or snowflakey and the “proper” way to be is not to mind. And there is also a suggestion that minding must mean that you are worried about abuse or inappropriate behaviour

Maybe address those posters specifically then?

Personally I really don't care as long as they are good at their job. Gp who examined my breasts when I found a lump was male and did ask if I wanted a chaperone. Not necessary for me mate but at least he asked. Surgeon who treated the cancer was male and a more charming professional man you couldn't meet. I never once felt uncomfortable throughout it all. However I do understand why some people would want to see a female. I obviously have a great team at my gp surgery who fill me with confidence irrespective of sex and appreciate I am lucky.

I'm 'OK' with it but for intimate stuff would prefer a female given the choice. For an intimate exam I'd at least want a female present, (think that's standard anyway for the protection of both doctor and patient!).

The only thing I'd have been very unhappy with is a male midwife. Not the delivery, as that part is over with relatively quickly and in those few minutes I didn't know my own name anyway. But the build-up was a very drawn-out, stressful, vulnerable experience, and I would only want another woman coaching me through it.

as long as patients are passive there will not be improvements

Women, you are to blame for male behaviour.

“Maybe address those posters specifically then?“

Well, I could. But it would be a bit difficult to individually address every poster who has said briskly “oh, it’s all about competence- what’s between their legs is immaterial” or something like that. It’s the robust tone that I find concerning.