If you're female AIBU to ask if you're ok with male health professionals at all times and in any scenario?

[DockerDre]

It's just that question really.

I’ve had two bad experiences (20 odd years apart) with Male hcp. As a result I would prefer females. I find it difficult but I can cope with males doing intimate exams etc but it makes me very anxious and unhappy for months afterwards. . I’m a bit of a wuss about it all and just pretend I don’t have these hang ups.

My aunt said to me after 'he was brutal - are you ok?'. I was fine. I'm stoic and try not to get worked up about stuff, but yes, he was brutal in hindsight and I wish it had been a woman.

Lol, I'm the same, I pretend I don't care, and that I'm cool about it, but I've found they are much rougher and uncaring and sort of 'calm down, I need to do this'. I think they're better dealing with dead people. Or people under anaesthesia.

Not really bothered. Had a male midwife and plenty of male consultants putting their hands up my guff before so dignity has all but gone .

I make sure I’m never alone with a male doctor or health care worker if I have to get undressed, when I was in my early 20’s I went for an sti check at my local sexual health clinic, for whatever reason I was alone with the male doctor, he told me I had a ‘neat little one’ as he was taking a swab.
After I had DD I got mastitis, my health visitor was male, I felt uncomfortable showing him my massively swollen and painful breasts.
Am happy to see a male health care worker with any other problem, just not ones where I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable I only know that I felt out of my comfort zone both times.

Has never bothered me. They're a trained professional like anyone else.

Midwives were all female, Had a female do my smear test and my colopscopy but had a male surgeon remove the cancer from my cervix.

Then had my male gp examine me when I caught an infection due to not being given antibiotics by the hospital .... he did try to get me a female dr to examine me but I was so ill I told him I didn't care if he was a man and please just make me better

Ok, I genuinely didn't think there would be any replies to this, but I have no problem whatsoever with male HCPs, it's just the ones examining me.

I also find the male nurses who take blood can be brutal - they don't give a shit that you're crying with pain once they get blood. I just find them to be brutal I suppose - can't think of any other word..

They're a trained professional like anyone else. yes and like any other professionals some are dicks. As I said I’ve had two very unpleasant experiences. It’s effected how I feel about it. I can’t help preferring and feeling safer with female hcp.

Likewise, while I don't doubt their knowledge, I do doubt their ability to be humane.

Fine with either. My gynaecologist and obstetrician were both male and I had no problems.

I want someone qualified and good at their job I couldn't care less if they are male or female. I've had dismissive, rough women doctors as much as male. I really thought that in this day and age people would be less judgemental about things like this. Do you also check if they are lesbian before they start or are we only assuming men can be sexual predators and what about gay men are they ok? They are professional. I'm pretty sure most opinions would change if a smear showed something dreadful and an operation was needed, then a man would be ok again.

Feel more.comfortable with a Female for what I call "below deck" issues but would not have time to worry if an emergency situation as long as I was made better.

I really thought that in this day and age people would be less judgemental about things like this. Do you also check if they are lesbian before they start or are we only assuming men can be sexual predators

Sexual predators overwhelmingly are men (if you're so aggrieved about this, take it up with them, not the women reacting to that fact), so I'm absolutely happy to be considered judgemental when it comes to preferring a female HCP for certain things.

“I want someone qualified and good at their job I couldn't care less if they are male or female.”

A few people have said similar to this but isnt it irrelevant? You don’t know how good at their job someone is until they get down to the business, not when they present to you as your carer and you decide whether or not your comfortable with their gender

HiJenny35
I see where you are coming from and no I would not judge them on their gender or their skills or assume Men were predators. I just feel more relaxed and the procedure is,more likely to go smoothly if I am as calm as I could be. I had an ECG which a male nurse did however he suggested that a female chaperone was with us.

Yes

I'd feel uncomfortable but not enough to do anything about it. And it depends on the male, too. When I gave birth to one of my DC the doctor was make but a nice 60ish fatherly type, so that was fine. If it had been Brad Pitt I might have been a bit more uncomfortable

At my GP I ask for a female doctor because the male doctors have been shit (during a consultation one - the head doctor - was checking his email).

But generally I don't care. I had male doctors examine me when I was pregnant, when I went for an STI check and also my midwife was male. I assume they are professional and have seen it all before.

Oh, also had a male doctor for my many colonoscopies. I'm sure I've had more male doctors look at my foof than I've have sexual partners

I don't personally care, but I respect the right for anyone to choose what makes them the most comfortable (although I do think that in an emergency, people need to realistically expect they may get anyone who is available).

I want someone qualified and good at their job I couldn't care less if they are male or female. I've had dismissive, rough women doctors as much as male. I really thought that in this day and age people would be less judgemental about things like this. Do you also check if they are lesbian before they start or are we only assuming men can be sexual predators and what about gay men are they ok? They are professional. I'm pretty sure most opinions would change if a smear showed something dreadful and an operation was needed, then a man would be ok again.

Jenny honey, you totally went off on a random rant about something which was never what this thread was about (on my part anyway). I was referring to the inhumane often brutal treatment by men. Not that I thought they wanted to mount me and ride me.

I also wasn't referring just to intimate examinations either. All interactions.

My gynaecologist is male. He is lovely, softly spoken, listens. I have no problem with him whatsoever. The obstetrician who gave birth (extricated my daughter) to my dd, was similar.
However, I was talking in general terms, where you've got a rough man coming in to take your bloods or whatever else they want to be doing - my question referred to HCPs not specifically obs/gynae.
In general, I find women gentler for want of a better word.

mightskys - if you have doctors looking at your foof during colonoscopies, I suspect it's colposcopies they are doing.......

I am happy with male doctors or nurses.When I had my bypass I was in ICU and had a wonderful male nurse.I will never forget him,he was like my angel,caring for me like I was his own Mother.