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AIBU?

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Original poster

how can i get my baby to sleep through the night?

136 replies

iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 07:52

i know its not an AIBU. But i am desperate for advice and am posting for traffic..
Long post as don't want to drip feed sorry!Blush

So, my DD is waking so many times throughout the night. It ranges from her waking 3 times to more than 7 times. It is always for her bottle and ive tried everything i can think of (giving her water in the night, putting her to bed later, making sure she had a good bedtime routine, making sure she has enough to eat later on at tea ao that shes full up). She doesn't have a dummy which i am kind of gutted about because im ashuming that would settle her instead of a bottle but she won't take one. I am so tired im struggling to function. I am just desperate for her to not wake up as much throughout the night. I've asked the HV for advice many times and all she keeps saying is "baby's just want cuddles with mummy" and i love cuddling her but not 6 times throughout the night im exhausted. HV also said give her water instead of formula. The look on DD face when i even attempt to give her water is just a straight "no" she just will not take it. I am a single parent and have no other help so cannot even ask somebody to do a few night feeds to help me out. Please help or any advice?? i need sleep. Sad

OP posts:
Crochetcrochetcrochet · 31/05/2019 17:24

She has reflux, yes? Have you had her meds checked lately? It could be that she's waking for milk because it settles the acid - and it's the pain from that that's waking her. Watering down her milk stops the milk doing that, hence she's carried on waking.

It's just the same as if we take gaviscin - as it wears off if the acid hasn't settled, you get horrendous pain. Well I do.

Maybe back to the GP/ paediatrics team? DS1 had terrible reflux, I remember it well. His was allergy based so once allergens were excluded he starred to sleep better - albeit slowly.

But, regular waking is normal developmental behaviour - although I know you know that. Have a look at Sarah Ockwell Smith book The gentle sleep guide, it's great.

Dandelion1993 · 31/05/2019 17:29

My daughters are 5 and 3months. Eldest was about 12 weeks when sleeping through and youngest was 9 weeks.

I used to put an extra ounce in the last bottle of the day and an extra ounce in the first one of the day. Seemed to help fill them to see the through the night.

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 18:08

@CoteDAzur if only it was that easy to say no to giving her a bottle in the night when she is absolutely screaming the house down. you said, and i quote "stop waking her up in the night for food." ?

OP posts:
Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 18:10

@Crochetcrochetcrochet yes she had awful reflux as a newborn and i tried alsorts before eventually realising her anti reflux formula was amazing and sorted it out! i watered doen her bottles once, she threw up and ive never done it again so i realise that isnt the answer to the problems. i have begged the HV for advice on her sleeping because i am quite convinced it is something to do with her reflux but the HV will bit help me. Maybe a trip to the doctors then next week!

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 31/05/2019 18:18

Foolproof technique here...

Wait. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got.

My twins were like this. They’d tag team me hourly all bloody night. Then they got to 14 months and just started sleeping. They still have bad patches but mostly they sleep through. They both have ASD though, which does seem to make it more difficult for them to get to / back to sleep.

SinkGirl · 31/05/2019 18:21

I didn't say you wake her up hmm I asked why you are still feeding your 11-month-old multiple bottles of milk every night, assuming you are aware of the fact that parenting quite often involves saying "No" to one's child.

This is one such situation where you need to say "No". Your child's metabolism needs to forget the multiple feeding times it has come to expect in the middle of the night, if you wish to have a full night's sleep in the near future.

Oh give over. This is an 11 month old baby, not a 2-3 year old (and even then, not all 2 year olds understand). Saying no may well mean this infant screaming themselves to sleep. Screw that.

“Sorry you’re thirsty darling, but tough shit.”

Before 12 months you’re not supposed to give water or water down formula. Once my boys passed 12 months I started watering their bottles down gradually and by 14 months they were sleeping through.

roses2 · 31/05/2019 18:25

Where did you get the information you can't give water before 12 months?? The nhs guidelines are from 6 monthd water is ok.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/drinks-and-cups-children/

SinkGirl · 31/05/2019 18:29

The advice from 6-12 months is that it’s okay to give small amounts of water with food, but not whole bottles of water / replacing bottles of milk until they are past 12 months. This is the advice I was given by my sons’ paediatrician, the twins’ neonatologist and dietician (and health visitor).

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 18:40

@SinkGirl thank you

@roses2 i give DD water witg her meals bur not full bottles because at the moment its not great for her reflux but to be honest i didnt know myself that you couldnt tive them full bottles!

OP posts:
Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 18:45

excuse typos i hate my phone!!

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 31/05/2019 18:56

Before 12 months you’re not supposed to give water

Sorry, this really wasn’t clear - I meant we were told you’re not supposed to give bottles of water til after 12 months, not any water at all!

sohypnotic · 31/05/2019 18:59

Not sleeping is so hard, can't imagine how tough it must be to deal with without any support. My DD (18 months) still does not sleep well. She still feeds and rocks to sleep, with white noise on continuously through the night - if it goes off she wakes up, so the teddy that played it was no good, we have to stream it into her room on a speaker 🙈 generally now she will go to sleep in own room between 8-9pm, wake up between 11-2am, then co-sleep with one of us and generally sleep through till 6-7am. Prior to this arrangement she was waking up 3+ times a night minimum. Sometimes hourly, sometimes taking 2+ hours to settle back into cot after a wake up - which was just not sustainable. Things also improved with purchase of a purflo pod (similar to sleepyhead)

Allboundformoomooland · 31/05/2019 19:00

I feel for you. I asked a Nanny with a sleep qualification for advice. Worked a treat and no crying. I've recommended her to friends and helped them a great deal too. She does phone consultations and not too expensive. Do you want her details?

roses2 · 31/05/2019 19:03

i stopped offering milk during the night for both my boys around 3 months. They were offered cooled boiled water in the night. They are both pretty stubborn and so am I Smile. It's really important to be consistent. Give them the same treatment every night and they will get used to it.

I found once I stopped the night time milk theirday time consumption hugely increased. Didn't help the night wakings though!

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 19:08

@Allboundformoomooland yes please! if you wouldnt mind?

sorry i will reply to everyone else very shortly.. just sorting DD out ready for bed etc.

OP posts:
sar302 · 31/05/2019 19:16

My friend had a terrible sleeper and used the Pick Up Put Down method. No cry it out or anything involved. Not sure where she got it - internet somewhere! Sorry you're going through this. Lack of sleep is used as a torture method in other circumstances, and there's a reason!

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 31/05/2019 19:33

Hi OP

My second was waking up every 90 min to breastfeed by 7 months, we tried everything and in the end we got a sleep consultant in, best £300 we've ever spent. She did a (very detailed and well supported but what was essentially a) version of the disappearing chair technique with us - it didn't feel as brutal as crying it out as we were there with her so she was never left on her own to cry (and we did pick her up if she got very upset) but it didn't take as long as the 'gentle' methods. Sure there is lots about it on Google but PM me if not.

Otherwise I know people in your position have gradually watered down their baby's milk so just 10pc water at first and gradually increase it over a couple of weeks so ita 90pc water and that worked for them

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 19:43

@sar302 wow never thought of that! will try that too! yes i know its awful.. i feel like im the walking dead

OP posts:
Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 19:45

@AmIRightOrAMeringue ah great ill try google it when i get a chance thank you! if not i will PM you. unfortunately DD has reflux so cant water down as she throws back upSad

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 31/05/2019 20:32

OP - "CoteDAzur if only it was that easy to say no to giving her a bottle in the night when she is absolutely screaming the house down."

I have sleep trained two babies so do know that it's not easy to say "No" when they want milk in the night. I also know that it's possible. You asked for advice to get your child to sleep through the night and this is it: You have to stop feeding her bottles of milk in the night.

"you said, and i quote "stop waking her up in the night for food." ?"

Er that's not an exact quote Hmm I assume that it's sleep deprivation that is preventing you from comprehending a sentence that is honestly not terribly complicated. I said:

Her metabolism will adjust to the new feeding schedule in a couple of days and stop waking her up in the night for food.

When the sentence is deconstructed, it says:

(1) Her metabolism will adjust to the new feeding schedule in a couple of days

And

(2) Her metabolism will stop waking her up in the night for food.

As in, her body will no longer think 2 AM and 4 AM (for example) are meal times.

MRex · 31/05/2019 20:36

@CoteDAzur - do stop unnecessarily badgering the OP, it's irritating even for those of us watching you uninvolved.

If she's had bad reflux then that might well be the problem. What does she have now; omeprazole / ranitidine? You might need to say you don't feel it's under control and try something stronger, or stronger doses, or a combination of solutions. Good luck!

CoteDAzur · 31/05/2019 20:40

MRex - Thanks for your input. If one day I feel incapable of deciding what to say and how to say it, I'll make sure to ask for your advice.

Until then, kindly mind your own business. Thank you.

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 20:44

@CoteDAzur to be honest you are massively irritating me. possibly my lack of sleep is to blame but also your lack of helpful advice so please do not reply to my post again. if you wouldn't mind?

@MRex I started off giving DD gaviscon powder to out in her bottles but that didnt work so eventually i ended up putting her on anti reflux formula milk which is fanstastic. i honestly couldnt recommend it enough.. there has been such an amazing improvement. I just worry that when shes asleep and because shes more flat (lying down) that it wilk cause her reflux to flare up no matter what anti reflux meds shes on! a trip to the doctors will put my mind at ease next week i think! thank you xx

OP posts:
MRex · 31/05/2019 20:44

@CoteDAzur - I found your posts annoying, so that is my business and I let you know accordingly. OP might think your goady schtick is amusing for all I know (though I doubt it).

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 31/05/2019 20:46

@MRex i really, really do not find her amusing Wine

OP posts:
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