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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel happy with gender neutral toilets at work?

778 replies

BalletBunting · 30/05/2019 13:01

My company has recently relabelled all toilets on my floor as 'gender neutral'. As well as being rather confused as to what the need is for them (there are no trans people at my work as far as I'm aware) I don't like them, and I would prefer to keep the ladies loo as is. The nearest women's toilets is 3 floors up now!

I don't really feel comfortable going to the loo knowing that there are men in there but I don't really know how to bring this up and with who. I work for a large media company, fairly young/progressive and I don't want to cause trouble for myself.

There was also absolutely no consultation regarding the change. If anyone has been in a similar situation and managed to come to a different solution? Or AIBU and should drop it?

OP posts:
ZiggyZagZog · 30/05/2019 17:08

Most women don’t want to share with men. Surely that is enough reason not to have to.

Tropicana1 · 30/05/2019 17:08

@Rufusthebewilderedreindeer I have horrendously heavy periods and still manage to not bloody myself changing a sanitary product. Don't really see how it's that difficult to be honest. Pull the string, tampon out. If you've leaked and the string is bloody grasp the sting with a bit of tissue. It's not hard.
And as I said before, how is that sanitary for other women in the bathroom if you've got period blood smeared over the waste bin, the flush and the cubicle lock as it's so heavily contaminated on your hands that it can be seen when you wash your hands.
If you're that bad at it take baby wipes in your handbag to clean up and make life more sanitary for your fellow toilet users

Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 17:09

please could someone/anyone explain to me clearly why changing women's toilets to mixed sex toilets is a good thing?

floraloctopus · 30/05/2019 17:09

There are some grim women here who don't mind sharing loos with men and their piss.

How does that make a woman grim?

Idontwanttotalk · 30/05/2019 17:12

@ScottishDoll

"I do not understand the word unisex being employed here in relation to toilets."

"Uni means one so is the word unisex should mean single sex but here seen purposefully misapplied to mixed sex toilets here or is there a genuine lack of understanding of the word???"
Yes, you do have a genuine lack of understanding of the word. A quick Google would have told you it means suitable for both sexes.

I'm definitely not trying to blur the boundaries. I am purposefully using a word including the word 'sex' rather than gender.

I agree with everything else you have said about cleanliness, safety and security etc.

boobirdblue · 30/05/2019 17:12

please could someone/anyone explain to me clearly why changing women's toilets to mixed sex toilets is a good thing?

It's changing women's to mixed sex, it's combining the two. If they close the men's then they have to pee and crap somewhere. It's like you're saying that men are insisting on this to get inside women's toilets. It was a company decision.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 30/05/2019 17:13

grim
The word is only used in this sense on Mumsnet. It means you have transgressed some Mumsnet rule. You are not allowed to know what the rule is. But you are no longer accepted as a polite Mumsnet lady and henceforth are tolerated with polite disdain Grin

SimplySteveRedux · 30/05/2019 17:13

Can't imagine what 'spills' you get at a media company.

I've worked for a few, some internationally prestigious and you'd be quite surprised at some of the antics men used to get up to, usually detailed on company intranet. Filmed wanking sessions was one of the more sedate. And no, I didn't.

boobirdblue · 30/05/2019 17:15

There are some grim women here who don't mind sharing loos with men and their piss.

I'm not grim, I share at home with OH and DSons, I'm not grim.

I share with make colleagues, I'm not grim.

Maybe the me. YOU share with are grim, that's an issue with those men and not all men.

I cannot stand the misandry on MN that all men are grim, vile blah blah

boobirdblue · 30/05/2019 17:16

@FiddlesticksAkimbo thank you for the explanation, I'll take that on board now.

I've certainly fallen foul of that rule!

Grin
Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 17:17

please could someone/anyone explain to me clearly why changing women's toilets to mixed sex toilets is a good thing?

It's changing women's to mixed sex, it's combining the two. If they close the men's then they have to pee and crap somewhere. It's like you're saying that men are insisting on this to get inside women's toilets. It was a company decision

eh? im asking why changing womens toilets to mixed sex is a good thing. clearly lots of people here think its a good thing. what are the reasons its a good thing?

Original poster
BalletBunting · 30/05/2019 17:17

'Misandry'? Confused

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 30/05/2019 17:18

@Oldstyle blokes often don't bother to shut the door

OMG I can vouch for this!! Last week I walked into the ladies and there was a bloke in there having a pee, with the door wide open. I nearly jumped out of my skin with shock! I said you do realise this is the Ladies? and he apologised profusely, finished his business and ran out into the Men's hopefully to wash his hands
.

daisychain01 · 30/05/2019 17:19

please could someone/anyone explain to me clearly why changing women's toilets to mixed sex toilets is a good thing?

It isn't !

BasicInstructions · 30/05/2019 17:19

As long as doors are floor to ceiling, it wouldn't bother me.

Also think YABU to complain that you have no private place to chat with other women

PeoniesarePink · 30/05/2019 17:21

Basically the majority have to suffer in order to appease the minority.

Welcome to life in Britain 2019.

ScottishDoll · 30/05/2019 17:23

We should be working towards the erosion of things that make women need or feel they need boundaries.

Of course, that would be excellent.

Not protecting the boundaries themselves.

The stupidest thing I have read on this subject yet.

AutumnCrow · 30/05/2019 17:23

I remember on another thread a pregnant woman who realised in her work loo that she was bleeding and she was extremely grateful to have female colleagues around for support.

Happyspud · 30/05/2019 17:24

There are some grim women here who don't mind sharing loos with men and their piss.

Some grim women even put penis’s in their mouths😱😱😱😱

HernameisGio · 30/05/2019 17:27

I’m female and don’t want gender neutral toilets because I’ve got my own hang ups. But then I’d rather not share with anyone! Especially the ones who don’t get changed in a cubicle and do it at the sinks, wash sanitary products in them and stand gossiping for ages when I’m in there trying to pee. And women’s toilets are often disgusting too. That’s not just men! It’s fair enjoy ugh to not want unisex toilets but some of the reasons given are flimsy at best.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/05/2019 17:31

Don't really see

That is rather the point isn't it? You don't see a problem so sod all those who do.

If you have had full blown menorrhagia without getting blood on your hands or ever having to rinse out underwear then I congratulate your superiority - I never managed it.

You want to go and share toilets with men - fine do it.

But there are plenty of men and women who are uncomfortable and feel their sense of privacy invaded and there are many women who have damned good reason to fear being in an intimate space with a man. But to hell with them eh? You're ok Jack.

Oh and this:
WOMENS BOUNDARIES ARE BEING ERODED

CaptainBrickbeard · 30/05/2019 17:32

Some grim women even put penises in their mouth

That’s the second time I’ve seen that comment on MN, used to denigrate other women essentially by calling them frigid - how dare you have boundaries, how dare you assert them, you must hate men and be crap in bed. It’s a peculiarly misogynistic thing for women to say when defending the new ‘woke’ mindset. It really exposes that person’s true colours.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/05/2019 17:35

We should be working towards the erosion of things that make women need or feel they need boundaries. Not protecting the boundaries themselves.

Priceless. This was exactly the kind of conversation I remember having with Militant supporters back in Ye Bad Old Days.

Women's rights should never be centred - because we should focus on the "Bigger issues" of international solidarity and shangri la for everyone.

My response then was to tell them I'd be delighted to welcome international betterment for all and as soon as they got off their beardy arses and achieved it I'd stop lobbying for women as a sex protected and discriminated agianst group.

So you go destroy those problems, I'll drop my objection to mixed sex toilets other than completely enclosed type just as soon as you deliver your magic solution.

NKFell · 30/05/2019 17:35

People don't seem to realise there's a difference between sharing a toilet with your husband/son/brother/friend is different to a male stranger.

I would rather not go to the toilet next to a male stranger, surely that's OK?!

NKFell · 30/05/2019 17:36

Oh and the penis/mouth thing is ridiculous and misogynistic.