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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel happy with gender neutral toilets at work?

778 replies

BalletBunting · 30/05/2019 13:01

My company has recently relabelled all toilets on my floor as 'gender neutral'. As well as being rather confused as to what the need is for them (there are no trans people at my work as far as I'm aware) I don't like them, and I would prefer to keep the ladies loo as is. The nearest women's toilets is 3 floors up now!

I don't really feel comfortable going to the loo knowing that there are men in there but I don't really know how to bring this up and with who. I work for a large media company, fairly young/progressive and I don't want to cause trouble for myself.

There was also absolutely no consultation regarding the change. If anyone has been in a similar situation and managed to come to a different solution? Or AIBU and should drop it?

OP posts:
ScottishDoll · 30/05/2019 17:36

It is a very strange comment. I can't understand the mindset that uses oral sex to justify mixed sex toilets, it's a weird and illogical jump in reasoning.

Still waiting for someone to explain why mixed sex toilets are a good idea!

Oh and this:
WOMENS BOUNDARIES ARE BEING ERODED

boobirdblue · 30/05/2019 17:37

@NKFell it's ok but why not? What reason?

What about colleagues are they classed as strangers?

boobirdblue · 30/05/2019 17:40

It is a very strange comment. I can't understand the mindset that uses oral sex to justify mixed sex toilets, it's a weird and illogical jump in reasoning.

I think it was the ridiculous comment about women not concerned about sharing toilets with men being vile. I think PP was posting saying we're not vile, we don't look at men as vile or their dicks as vile. Some posters on MN just don't like men.

Still waiting for someone to explain why mixed sex toilets are a good idea!

Don't think anyone is saying it's a good idea but just saying it's not a problem. 🤷‍♀️

CallMeRachel · 30/05/2019 17:44

I'd be bothered by this too.

In my opinion men are dirty bastards in the toilet. Grin Therefore they NEED a urinal, otherwise piss gets all over the toilet seat, back area around hinges and all over the floor.

To avoid this mess making they should have urinals but if they stuck them in a shared space then they'd essentially be flashing at all the women who've just gone in to do make up, chat, use loo, whatever.

Men's public toilets are ALWAYS worse than the ladies and I can't help but think it's weird how they're always used as seedy gay sex locations.

Women don't see anything sexual about toilets.

I wonder if cases of hidden cameras/videos being placed in toilets now men have access will sky rocket. Hmmm... Sad

Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 17:45

what a bizarre way of thinking! - lets change the womens toilets into mens- absolutely no one thinks its a good idea, but if anyone does have a problem with it they should be ignored.

is that honestly your thinking here?

Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 17:46

*mens = mixed sex

GreytExpectations · 30/05/2019 17:48

I cannot stand the misandry on MN that all men are grim, vile blah blah

This^

Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 17:50

do you think its a good idea to change womens toilets into mixed sex, greyt?

boobird says no one thinks its a good idea....

ScottishDoll · 30/05/2019 17:51

Wanting to keep single sex spaces for women does not equal "Some posters on MN just don't like men." Trope after trope is being trotted out on this thread.

A woman's sexual preferences are not relevant to her right to safety and privacy in single sex spaces. Single sex spaces do not equal misandry.

BasicInstructions · 30/05/2019 17:54

Wanting to keep single sex spaces for women does not equal Some posters on MN just don't like men.

No but the people saying that are replying to PP saying men in general are vile and disgusting.

Omzlas · 30/05/2019 17:54

I don't give a toss who else uses the toilets, I go to do one thing and then leave

As an aside - the women's toilets in the last office I worked in were disgusting, poo smeared on the seats, used sanitary towels stuck to the walls.... it goes on and on. The cleaners were appalled and I've come face to face with a floating turd more than once Envy < absolutely NOT envy

And no, I didn't work in an office full of children, these were grown women who should bloody well know better

GreytExpectations · 30/05/2019 17:56

@Helmetbymidnight

do you think its a good idea to change womens toilets into mixed sex, greyt?

Honestly, im not too bothered either way but i wouldnt say its a good idea. I just disagree with a lot of what is being said on here.

AutumnCrow · 30/05/2019 17:57

I don't give a toss who else uses the toilets

But a lot of women - and men - do. Why should they be ignored? What did they do wrong?

GreytExpectations · 30/05/2019 17:58

Wanting to keep single sex spaces for women does not equal Some posters on MN just don't like men.

No but women calling all men grim and vile does.

ScottishDoll · 30/05/2019 18:00

Plenty of people have made the point that men's toilets are unpleasant and that mixed sex toilets are unpleasant compared to women's toilets.

The fact that the majority of violent crime (and sex crime) is committed by men has also been mentioned.

All reasons why women have single sex spaces.

No reasons have been given why mixed sex toilets are a good idea.

Plenty of attacking of women for trying to preserve their boundaries though, personal and generalised.

FishCanFly · 30/05/2019 18:00

We should be working towards the erosion of things that make women need or feel they need boundaries. Not protecting the boundaries themselves
WHAT.THE.ACTUAL.F-word??? 😮😮😮

As for make colleagues being strangers - they effectively are. Especially your workplace employs hundreds of people

Tropicana1 · 30/05/2019 18:00

@C8H10N4O2 you still haven't addressed how it's acceptable for me to have to touch blood stained toilet flushes and door handles because some women apparently get blood soaked hands when changing sanitary devices. How is that hygienic or ok? If I pissed all over my hands because I'd never learned a better way and then flushed the chain and opened the door before finally making it to the communal sinks to wash my urine soaked hands I have no doubt both men and women alike would be appalled

GreytExpectations · 30/05/2019 18:00

Its the women moaning about a man hearing them piss, seeing them wash their hands, watching them put make up on, or hearing their gossip that i disagree with. As i personally dont see them as legitimate reasons to not like the mixed toilets

Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 18:00

ok, so it seems no one here is prepared to say they think its a good idea .... but even so they want to tell the people who do have an issue with it that they are wrong.

Tropicana1 · 30/05/2019 18:01

The point I'm trying to make is bleeding once a month is a poor excuse for not wanting a communal bathroom

BasicInstructions · 30/05/2019 18:04

ok, so it seems no one here is prepared to say they think its a good idea .... but even so they want to tell the people who do have an issue with it that they are wrong

Has anyone said they're wrong? Most people have just given their own opinion. Saying "it wouldn't bother me" isn't the same as saying "you're wrong to be bothered by it".

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 30/05/2019 18:04

tropicana

How do you get it in?

ScottishDoll · 30/05/2019 18:07

The point I'm trying to make is bleeding once a month is a poor excuse for not wanting a communal bathroom

What would be an acceptable reason to you?

What is a good reason for mixed sex toilets?

Tartyflette · 30/05/2019 18:08

People are throwing up all sorts of arguments about how it's absolutely fiiiiine to share toilets with the opposite sex, they have no problem with it so we should all woman up. That's disingenuous and evading the issue -- if we don't like it, for whatever reason - privacy, dignity, escape, we shouldn't have to have it. Single sex facilities exist for a reason; violence and sexual assault against women haven't exactly been eradicated, have they? The thought of the male office pest or office bore following me into the bog is distinctly unnerving.
A few practical points that might be germane these days I wouldn't necessarily assume that blood on a toilet seat in either a mixed sex or female-only toilet necessarily came from a female men can and do bleed from their orifices. Males can and do use women's toilets. Similarly, those who say women-only toilets can be just as bad with piss on the seat or floor -- it may not just be females who made that mess.
And for anyone asking how we know how men's bogs are gross, I don't know about you but I've had occasion to use the gents in pubs etc in extremis. It has to be in extremis, because they are pretty horrible.
IME the women's toilets that have been dreadful are in places like bus stations or venues and A/absolutely anyone could have used them and B/it was clear that drug users certainly did. I've seen women's toilets at work get a bit untidy but nothing gross.
Finally, yes, I share toilets at home with the men in my family but they seem to be able to clean up after themselves. I wonder if some men don't really care about how they leave communal facilities. So NAMALT etc but I really do not want to share with the latter types.

Helmetbymidnight · 30/05/2019 18:11

i think many people have implied the op is being silly - however its interesting that no one seems prepared to put forward reasons why the change is a good idea.

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