To ask when you've been embarrassed by your pet?

[AIBUPODCAST]

Producer Amanda has a myriad of tales about her childhood dog behaving appallingly in public (the local bowls club erected a HUGE gate to keep him from digging holes on the green), so Lucy & Aasmah would LOVE to hear some stories from the forum!

We had a very naughty DDog who swallowed one of my contact lenses. He then puked it back up. I took it into the opticians as thought they needed to see it before the insurance claim was started. Nope, washed it and jammed it back in my eye!

Lovely stories. If horses count, I have one.

I live in a very horsey town outside of Paris. Riders tend to be proud of their abilities and go hatless to show just how experienced they are.

I had just arrived in town and my handsome but emotional nag seemed to fit right in.

One of our earliest outings down a street well frequented by the smart show jumping types, DH (dear horse) took exception to a squirrel in a tree and stuck fast on the road. There was no getting him to go forward and turning back would have been a bad idea.

There is one gear and one gear only that works on DH when this problem arises: reverse. So I pirouetted him around smartly then proceeded to rein back all the way down the street. Great amusement was being had by the serious riders and pedestrians alike. My face must have been beetroot from the shame mingled with anger that DH had put me in such a position.

After about fifty mètres of misery I whipped DH around to see if he was prepared to get on with his life after the squirrel trauma. No he was not — he spotted another hazard and planted once more. I think we ended up shuffling backwards another fifty mètres, until I met someone I knew riding DH’s new besty. DH found a small reserve of courage and we were able to tag along with them normally.

A family of friends were visiting and the guinea pigs were running loose in the garden. I told the children that they should only pet the black and white one because the brown one was moody. They didn't listen and the brown one bit a child so hard on the arm it was running blood. Fortunately the parents were team brown guinea pig. But I couldn't believe that he'd get so nasty

Walking my darling dog once whilst walking through the local woods, chased a whole herd of roe dear.

She chased them through the woods to the farmland on the other side of the path.

She did this in front of loads of people who were all quite gobsmacked! Me included. Came back later looking pretty pleased with her self.

I have loads she's a naughty girl, once at Christmas time dressed in a fetching elf costume, she attempted to mount a chaps leg who had come to take the meter readings.

My neutered boy cat liked to dry hump blankets, the arm of the sofa etc. One day my PILs came to visit, and while I'm talking to MIL he got on the back of the sofa behind her head and started humping it (luckily the sofa, not MIL!) I struggled to keep a straight face while making conversation.

Vampirethriller 🤣🤣

Er yesterday when my miniature daschund did a very wet Poo in a charity shop in Bridport. I cleaned it up immediately but it stank.

My naughty cocker spaniel stole a burger from someone's bbq, weed on a small boys jumper which was on the grass and always stole balls from other dogs . He always did these things so very quickly that it was hard to head him off. I am better at training dogs now thankfully.

Current dog has an excitable bladder and wets herself every time FIL or certain other people come for a visit, we also have to wait outside for her to wee before going to PIL's house.
Most embarrassing dog I had was a dachshund that used to tip bins over and go through them. I came home with my boyfriend one day as a teenager to find that he had got to the bathroom bin and there were chewed up sanitary towels all over the floor.

Was walking my cockapoo along the seafront, gorgeous sunny day, ddog looked very cute so decided to take a photo of him. Just as I was doing it, a family approached, ddog decided it was scratch-the-itch time, bum dragging along the promenade, to make it worse he even had his lipstick fully out, the little girl of the family thought ddog was putting on a bit of a show and was squealing with laughter, causing even more people to look. 😂

I was walking along the pavement with DDog when two police officers approached towards us. I stepped aside and DDog sat beautifully. As they passed by, smiling at my oh so well behaved mutt he bared his teeth and growled LOUDLY. He has NEVER done this before or since.

Oh dear, the shame.

One of my cats had an - ahem - blockage when she was very tiny, about 14 weeks old, which necessitated her having an enema.

She's now a huge, soppy fluff ball but if she has to go to the vet for any kind of check up and it gets to taking her temperature she'll whip round with all the teeth going on and a proper 'WT actual F do you think you're doing' look on her face.

Not a single vet has actually managed to take her temperature since.

My pony turned into a whirling dervish and had projectile diarrhoea at the same time. It sprayed two beautiful parallel lines of bright orange/brown shot over a lady's bright white trousers.

Was mortified 🙈😱🙈

Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople

Obviously the polar opposite of your cat

*shit 💩 💩💩

Damn autocorrect

CMOTDibbler

You need to write a book.

Our dog broke into a locked room while we were all at my grandfather’s funeral and ate every piece of food for the reception. When all the guests arrived back at the house the only food left were my great aunt’s homemade mushroom vol au vents. The dog had clearly tried one, not liked it, and spat it out on the floor. My great aunt was most offended.

It broke the ice during a sad event and my dad nipped to M&S for replacement supplies. The dog spent the rest of the day lying on the hearth rug, snoring and farting.