To ask when you've been embarrassed by your pet?

[AIBUPODCAST]

Producer Amanda has a myriad of tales about her childhood dog behaving appallingly in public (the local bowls club erected a HUGE gate to keep him from digging holes on the green), so Lucy & Aasmah would LOVE to hear some stories from the forum!

My cat (sadly now gone ) was allowed out the back of the house and to roam but not to jump out of the front as we lived on a road (oddly shaped area ...made a lot more sense in reality )

Flipping animal never ever tried to jump out the front window until one day.

Heavily pregnant I heard scrambling at the front window and realised he was making a completely unexpected and hitherto unknown bolt for freedom and at a speed that should go in the record books for a pregnant 35 year old (actually should go in the books for me now to be fair ) I dashed put the front door.

To be met with a simultaneously indignant and in denial feline stuck half in and half out of the window. Trying very hard to convince me that he was not in fact trying to break the rules and he was not in fact there and it was all in my imagination.

He was to be fair quite an expressive animal.

I stood hands on ample hips (power stance to prevent me from weebling around....seriously I grew giant bloody babies) I promptly lectured him.

This contained gold such as " ddcat we have discussed this before and frankly you are old enough to know better "

"No i can't help you back in if I try to help I'll probably give birth and then how would you feel"

Cat now looking nonplussed and cross.

Finally

" dcat I think we will have to discuss your priveledges from now on" (alright yes I had officially lost it...i blame the hormones ...and I'm sticking to that story)

Finally to hear a cacophony of laughter and to snap out of it to see 5 workmen ,two neighbours and one rather surprised passer by absolutely weting themselves laughing.

Dcat finally had the grace to save my blushes...reversed into the house ,so I hoiked my very considerabl3 pregnant belly ,tried to ignore my blushing and returned to the house to retain a tiny semblance of my dignity.

He died 2 years ago and I love this memory

The first time my ex ever stayed over at my house we were in bed together and I could hear a digging sound in the distance. My cat was in his tray and proceeded to do a huge poo that stank the whole house out. We could smell it strongly in the bedroom and it totally killed the mood

We'd had a lovely time on the beach with our two terriers. A small child was digging in the sand and as the dogs passed he reached out to touch them. My dog loved everyone so he stopped to be fussed and while he was being fussed my husband's dog cocked his leg and pee'd into the child's bucket.

Obviously my husband took the bucket and washed it. Thankfully the parents were beside themselves with laughter. I was overcome with embarrassment.

Last week I was out with my beagle when he saw a springer spaniel. The spaniel pulled towards him (and pulled his owner with him) - said owner had just bought an ice-cream which promptly fell on the floor and the tow dogs then demolished it

My kitten loves to climb the tree just outside my garden. She is perfectly capable of climbing up and down it without any worries. She climbs up and sits there watching the world go by all day.

She has however conned numerous neighbours into thinking she was stuck. Several of them have been up ladders to 'rescue' her.

Said tree now has a note tied round it letting people know that the black cat only pretends to be stuck.

I have a dog called Kai.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times shouted Kai across a field and had some confused looking person reply “Hi ” and look at me suspiciously.

I think I need to work on being clearer

Took dogs for Riverside walk. They both swam, then had a good roll in the muddy bank.
We walked back to the car park, just as a chap was opening the boot of his pristine range rover......
I will leave the rest to your imagination 😁

not our pet per say say but well my mother was looking after a rather lovely plump red long hair dauchaund.He was staying with us wile his family were away.My mother and her Irish friend who would talk for hours came by.They were sitting in the kitchen nattering together like they always do when the dog decided to walk over and sit between them.He then lifted his tail and did the loudest fart a dog could do.Combined with a thick accent her reaction was comical to say the least

One of my cats usually does a horrendously smelly poo as soon as I have visitors. Unfortunately she doesn't bury it.

I may have posted this before, but there was this one time my large husky snatched up a rotting fish from the beach and ran away with it. I gave chase (you can't chase a husky, let that be known) and she ran UP A CLIFF FACE with the fish so I couldn't take it off her. She then ate it, with me hopping mad below, couldn't get down and Search and Rescue had to come and pluck her off the cliff face. So, SO deeply embarrassing.

My large clumsy dog managed to knock my hand at the wrong angle with his boney head. Resulting in tendon damage and a fracture to my finger joint. The numerous doctors and nurses were amused and surprised that a dog caused such an injury. It was embarassing having to retell the story, especially to the two young trainee doctors who tried their best not to laugh! I had to have surgery and a full arm cast for several weeks. Of course then everyone at work also wanted to know why I was in plaster...

I have had to NC for this one as it's really outing. If anyone knows me they'll know how mortified I was by this, and the story has circled in my circles 🙈

DH used to be in the army and was sent to Germany for a few months while I stayed at home with the dog. We had a bit of a joke with another single friend where he would bring her back the weirdest sex toy he could find, from whatever foreign country he was in. Yes, I realise this was weird, but it was an in-joke

So he returned from Germany with a huge plastic carrot, complete with long, dangling green stalks and leaves. When you pulled off the orange carrot bit, you were left with a large, leafy knob.

Friend thought it was hilarious, dog thought it was a toy and fell in love with it, so she left it, without us knowing, in the dog toy box, buried under everything.

At the time I was going through quite a serious illness and had a fair amount of time off work. I'd been off for a few weeks and my manager and his manager had arranged a home visit, to assess the situation, talk about a return to work plan etc. All very formal.

They arrived, suited up, dog was locked in the kitchen but had an unfortunate talent for opening doors. Right in the middle of the meeting, dog opened the kitchen door, trotted up to the big boss and happily dropped a giant cock with leaves coming out of the ballsack onto his lap.

No one knew what to do, dog was most pleased with himself and danced around waiting for it to be thrown. My manager was purple with fury, big boss just sort of sat there looking at it. I had to retrieve it from his lap, hurl it into the garden and try and explain that it was a gag gift, while knowing they thought it was mine.

I think that's probably the most embarrassing moment of my life, tbh.

My very regal and wilful Dachshund marked hee territory in the same spot every morning. On one occasion a man was laying on the sacred patch of grass to repair something for a utility company. We had a proper tussel as she tried to go and wee on him (standard Dachshund so quite large and strong). I had to squeak a warning at him because she managed to wee close enough that it was going to trickle onto his back/head. I still cringe remembering. She saw no reason not to just urinate on him.

My mum's a dog walker and I occasionally join her. One of her regular dogs (large crossbreed) had rather loud, smelly, explosive diarrhea in the middle of the path near the entrance to our local lake. She then proceeded to sit down and drag herself across the path in front of a young family. It was embarrassing on all accounts.

My mum took her dog to the beach and let him off near the sea. He's normally fine off the lead. On this particular day though, the little bugger sprinted back across the beach onto the promenade and jumped onto a picnic table where a lady was eating chips. Thankfully she saw the funny side!

Not my pet, but my ex had an English Bull Terrier who would eat literally ANYTHING he could find. We were out walking him at a local beauty spot on a hot summers day when the dog proceeded to poop out a pair of half eaten boxer shorts. They got stuck and were hanging out of his butt when a nice German tourist came around a corner and decided to stop and ask questions about the breed, all the while the dog is still desperately trying to shit out these shorts while ex stood there red faced and pretending not to notice. He had to pull the shorts out once the lady had gone on her way!

My very old dog has always had a strange habit of having a poo in odd places - think on a single leaf in an otherwise empty field, doing a handstand to poo on top of a bush...and so on...

Whilst taking said stinky creature out on a ramble, open fields next to a village hall, all dog friendly, Ddog off lead, Ddog goes off to say hello to some men fixing a fence and then...does a HUGE poo right in one of their tool boxes.

Oh, the shame...

Oh my god my cat Tony, we had a litter of kittens we was trying to rehome so had people round to take them after a long process of home visits etc making sure they was the right people etc,
He came in from the garden eating a dead bird dropped it at their feet and then started vomiting up another bird all over their shoes and himself and the floor and then proceeded to poo himself also. My mum was fuming at the state of him but he was actually really poorly we found out after, he's fine now and still going

Mine seems very tame compared to some of these!!! Labrador puppy about 9 months old, on a camping holiday. H and me chatting to site owner, dog sniffing round tent then wanders off around the back of the tent into the next camping area, separated by small hedges.

Whistled and called said dog/puppy who ran all the way up other side of the hedges and back down our row to me. But she didn't stop and whomp - suddenly I was flat on my back as my legs had literally been taken out from under me by a puppy!!! Who was having a lovely time licking my face and expecting praise as she had been a good girl and come back when called . Pride was hurt more than anything else!! Fortunately there weren't too many people around!

@ShinyMe I love your cat 😂

@tolerable best thing I've ever read

Our cat has a miaow that I'm fairly sure registers at the higher end of the decibel scale when he really wants our attention.

In spite of being 15 and arthritic, he managed to escape the garden during last year's heat wave. We were devastated, and thought that he'd possibly sloped off quietly to die, or that due to the extreme heat, he wouldn't last long.

Five days later I had a call from a woman who'd seen our posters.

"I think I have your cat. He's um..."
Cat bellows in the room with her.
"... rather loud."

That's my boy!

My parents had a big black cat called Fred. He was mesmerised by the pond in next door's garden and would spend all day laying by the pool. Soon, the goldfish began to be found dead in the garden so the neighbours fitted little six inch sticks horizontally from pond edge into the pond and then tied cotton on the ends.

The pond was restocked with goldfish, and they were confident that the sticks would prevent any further slaughter. Next day, all the goldfish were dead, scattered around the garden.

The neighbours were not happy and spoke to my parents. My DF was adamant that although Fred was at the pond twelve plus hours a day, he didn't have to be the guilty one. Right

The sticks and cotton were removed and a wire mesh was placed over the yet again newly stocked pond. Next day, the NDNS looked out to see the mesh had been lifted up in places and more dead goldfish. They then placed big slabs of crazy paving all the way round the edge to keep the mesh down. No more goldfish died but it looked so horrendously ugly, that they gave up and filled in the pond.

Poor Fred was deprived of his daily exercise of extending a paw into the pond to fish out the goldfish, my poor DM grovelled and apologised to the NDNs profusely and to the day he died, my DF maintained Fred was innocent.

Took my dog to the beach with plans to go to pub for lunch afterwards. He had a great time swimming round and lapping up seawater. We had drinking water for him but he could not be stopped.

Took him to the pub when, as soon as we let him out the car, he had explosive diarrhoea in the middle of the car park. This continued for the next hour until he was literally shitting water. He had drunk about his body weight in fresh water before it stopped.

My dog dropped a huge amount of disgusting diarrea just outside the entry of my grandma’s retirement home. It was too liquid to shove it in a bag. On top of that it was very obviously visible because there was snow on the pavement. I felt really embarassed, my grandma adores my dog and always so happy to see her.