To ask when you've been embarrassed by your pet?

[AIBUPODCAST]

Producer Amanda has a myriad of tales about her childhood dog behaving appallingly in public (the local bowls club erected a HUGE gate to keep him from digging holes on the green), so Lucy & Aasmah would LOVE to hear some stories from the forum!

A previous Dcat was very clear in her own mind that bedtime was 10.30pm. Any humans who had the audacity to stay up beyond this time would be treated to loud, persistent howling until they gave in. She was known to many of our friends as The Nagging Cat, and is much missed.

When my DD was around 10, she took the dog for a walk, but lost her. After driving frantically around the area, i couldn't see her, so i went down to the local police station to report her missing.
The lady on the desk asked me if it was a cavalier king charles spaniel? i said yes.
A few minutes later a policeman brought her out and told me that they had seen her running down the road, complete with her lead and when they stopped, she had immediately leapt into their car and proceeded to lick them half to death. They had taken her back to the station and rather than put her into the kennel, they had taken her into the canteen where everyone fed her titbits and fell in love.
They all wanted to take her home with them and were going to hold a raffle if she wasn't claimed. Apparently it caused a bit of an upset when i turned up to collect her.
R.I.P Holly Scruffbum.

Hello! We can certainly try, where possible to give a heads-up if we use your excellent stories!

My dog escaped me and sprinted across a field to invade a dog training session on a football pitch. I could hear the chaos he was creating but couldn't see it as I was scrambling through two hedges, barbed wire and a ditch to reach him.
When I got there, the carnage was all too evident; cones, posts and balls scattered everywhere and owners frantically gripping collars and attaching leads to dogs. One Alsatian was still running loose and ignoring his owner's attempts to bring him to heel by bellowing, "SAMSON, COME HERE".

When I asked if anyone had seen a black lurcher, the owners, still clearly shellshocked, pointed in unison at a hole in the hedge next to the one I'd just appeared through and said, "He went that way".
Back through the hedges, ditch and wire I went to find my dog back in the field, happily grinning and widdling up a patch of nettles, his work there now done.
Hairy git.

My father had a gorgeous but goofy, soft and oversize golden retriever with an escape habit. We regularly had to collect him from the primary school at playtime, a local hotel or even the police cells. One day, my father had walked down to the village with the dog to collect the paper; he was held up in the shop so the dog, who had been exploring round the back of the shop, panicked and set off round the village shops to look for Dad. Dad came out to find no dog but the whole village full of directions as to where the dog had been seen on his hunt for Dad. So Dad was hunting the dog, who was hunting Dad.

The owner of the village wool shop/haberdashery had a tiny Yorkshire terrier who absolutely adored our dog; she would rush out on a long secured lead whenever she heard our voices, in order to lay at his feet while he gazed in bemusement as this tiny creature, smaller than his head, gazing up lovingly at him. Unfortunately, she once managed to loop her lead completely around the legs of an exiting customer, rather like a cartoon.

House viewing. They were late, I had to go out for appointment. Came back, they'd been and gone...dog had gone through bin and a used tampon was sat neatly in the middle of the kitchen. Mortifiying.

Ddog is a whippet with a lovely long pointy nose - just perfect for shoving up people's backsides . He particularly loves doing this up long coats in the winter (not so bad) and floaty skirts in the summer (bit worse, when you suddenly feel something cold and wet at the top of your thighs ).

DB had a dog who was known for being a complete nutter and who would eat anything. I was staying once with my 10 month old DTs. I had changed two dirty nappies and was then distracted by something so didn't pick up the nappy bag straight away. By the time I got back to the room 5 minutes later, the dog had eaten the lot - nappy sack, two nappies, wipes, everything (not envy). DDog didn't suffer any ill-effects, but DSIL rang me from the park the next day when she had to pull the whole, undigested sack out of the dog's arse (again not envy) .

Our labrador is a humper. He will hump when he is anxious and out of his normal comfort zone, so we have to watch him carefully. There is no particular pattern to the humping but he especially likes to do it to DH if he sits down on the ground next to him or if he bends over at the wrong moment. He can go for months without doing it and we think he's grown out if it and then he just jumps at DH, clamps tightly round his waist and humps him violently. He's 12 now so to be honest we are just grateful to see him show a bit of life, but he has embarrassed us many times over the years.

Not my pet, but my mum’s dog. We went to the pub and as we were walking to be seated for lunch the dog squatted down in front of everyone and did a massive shit 💩 💩

I let my mum deal with that one 😆

My dog is due vaccinations in December, he pished on the Christmas tree 🎄 in the vets surgery....three years on the trot. 🙈

When I was about 13 we got a Golden Retriever, she retrieved everything whether it needed to be retrieved or not.

She also liked to chew used underwear and would help herself from the washing basket, she would then take them to any visitors who happened to be around.

My cousin once took her for a walk, my cousin saw a girl approaching him and decided he's stop to chat, she was also walking a dog and he thought having a pedigree dog would be an ice breaker.

The dog hid behind his legs.

My current cat has conned the neighbours into thinking she is a starving kitten, she is 9 and well fed.

When I was a child I had a pet duck called Sir Francis. He loved me dearly, would play fetch, go for a walk on a lead (I had a cockerel called Sally that also walked on a lead) and so on. But he hated everyone else and would bite at them with his beak which gave you nasty blood blisters. He was normally kept in the back garden, but one day he was in the front, and mum had to rescue the postman who was stood terrified on a plant urn.

Mum had a deeply embarrassing episode when my pygmy goat ate the tax disc in dads van - he liked to travel sitting up like a dog in the passenger seat - and she had to phone the DVLA to ask for a replacement.

Actually, my pets have embarrassed me an awful lot in hindsight, but we have had a lot of pets!

Current Dcat3 is known as The Lemon Drizzle Thief, after launching himself sideways at a friend to snatch her piece of cake!

I was mortified when I took one of my cats to the vet for the first time. Such a lovely cuddly friendly cat she is, but at the vet's she turns into a street brawler - hissing, yowling, attacking the vet. I had no idea she knew such dreadful curse-miaows.

I took my dog to a new park. She forced the park keepers to go into their hut and get her some treats. She sniffed one, took it very cautiously in her mouth, immediately spat it out with ridiculously dramatic sound effects, walked two paces and pissed on it.

We did not return to that park.

Similar to a poster up-thread, a friend's massive, clumsy, hard-headed dog headbutted me while we were playing. This, obviously, cause me to make a sudden loud noise which made her more playful so she headbutted me again and scratched my face really badly with her massive fat paw.
I had to go to A&E for stitches where none of the staff believed I'd been hurt by a dog.

My dog will randomly stop and lie down no matter where he is if he doesn't fancy the direction/place you are going. We call in flomping. It can be embarrassing when you need to get somewhere quickly and he won't budge. He's a 27kg English bulldog so no carrying him!

My cat has been litter trained since I got her at 8 weeks, never so much as an accidental wee on the floor. Then one night I had my school friends round for my first dinner party and after the meal I started to smell something terrible, only to find she'd done a massive poo on the kitchen floor it's never happened since so I'm convinced she did it to embarrass me!

Our dog loves going places including pets at home but he insists on scent marking right by the till every time!

My mums dog- a large black Labrador-was staying with us once. We had been for a walk (which you had drive to) and he had gone for a swim.He was still quite wet.
He leapt out of the car and mistook our neighbours' open door for ours. The neighbour had left his door open to enable his newly painted lounge walls to dry more quickly...in bounded Stanley (the Dog). He shook all over their front room. Muddy water on all four walls...then lolloped out again looking pleased with himself. The neighbour did not look quite so pleased...

Took my pregnant dog for a walk (I was around 13 at the time). She got halfway round the route and sat down. She would not budge an inch. She was tired and probably only a couple of weeks from giving birth. I had to carry her back home. I felt really stupid walking round our neighbourhood carrying a dog people wouldn't have known why I was carrying her and maybe thought I didn't understand the walk should be for her and not me luckily she was a smallish dog so I could carry her. It was the last walk I didn't take her for another walk till after she had the puppies!

My cat came home with a leg of lamb once. A few days later a neighbour was telling me how some bugger stole her Sunday roast while she was out if the kitchen. I was like 'Really? You can't trust anyone these days.' while trying to escape before I turned red.

My parents had a rescue dog that used to go to work with my dad. he is an architect, so loads of building sites. this was 30 years ago and the dog had perfect recall, so she just explored the surroundings if it was safe (no heavy machinery on). one day to dog came back with a huge plastic bag full of sausage rolls in their mouth and proudly presented it to my dad’s crew. she had stolen it from an adjoining building site with a rivalling crew. apparently about 30 minutes later much shouting and cursing could be heard from the other site....

My cat thought he was a dog, mainly because he was brought up by my German Shepherd. I'll never forget the week he came home with a chicken, followed by a chop, followed by a string of sausages (ever seen a cat running down the garden with sausages flapping around on either side of his head. 😂). I never found out if it was the same kitchen he got them from but he never did it again

I was in a very new relationship and I went upstairs to get something while my partner stayed downstairs with the dog and my dog just looked at him and weed all over the floor, she has never ever done that in front of me or anyone else. He just looked at me and said um your dogs just weed all over the floor🤢🤢

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