I am sick of being addicted to my phone.. sorry this is an upsetting rant from me

[cutoutaddiction]

Ironic im typing this on my phone but everyone is in bed asleep and I cannot sleep, got a lot on my mind.

I'm so fed up and tired of it. I have been addicted to my phone for as long as I can remember. Every night for hours on end up up on my phone instead of reading a book or doing some knitting. I am on it more than I am not. I have a toddler who deserves and needs my attention and I am a shit mum for not giving him it. The first thing I do in the morning is look at my phone and then I go back on it while having a cup of tea, then I get ready, go back on my phone again, do things in between... I almost threw it against the wall but I remained calm and just put it down. I hate the thing and it is ruling my life! I WANT to do other things that I ENJOY. Why am I not enjoying doing things with my toddler? Why am I a lazy cow for not taking him to the park? Or do some colouring? Why do I feel like I have to actually go toilet at work so I can whip out my phone and check that's going on? I can't do this anymore.

Please can someone tell me what to do to occupy mine and my DS time throughout the day when I'm off work? Should I just throw this shitty fucking thing that's controlling my life? I don't want my baby to feel neglected anymore. He deserves more than a shit mum who'd rather sit on her fat arse and play on her phone instead of spending precious time with him.

I’ve recently started reading a booked called Irresistible - the rise of addictive technology and the business of keeping us hooked. Modern apps press the same buttons in the brain as cocaine, and most of us are vulnerable to varying degrees.

There is a section on solutions, but I haven’t got there yet.

I’m in my mid-fifties and did not get a smartphone till about 8 years ago. The first couple were not that powerful - so I developed an iPad addiction instead - games and social media. This means I really only do it at home, and since I have no DC it’s not that big a deal for social interaction, though it is for work.

This means that when I am out and about, I really notice other people on their phones - and if they are supposed to be talking to me, I notice how rude it feels.

Now that I have a smartphone that would be powerful enough to do all that stuff away from home, I’m determined not to do it. I also want to cut down on my iPad usage.

Typed on my iPad!

There are some great suggestions on here!

I’ve just set up some time limits on games on my iPad (actually DS had to do it for me, as I couldn’t work it out 😆)

I’ve also downloaded the Offtime app which a couple of posters have recommended, and I’ll go and look at it now.

I’ve been known to go and have a bath instead of a shower just to force myself to read something...

I meant you can take a book into the bath, but not into the shower...

Rubbish, I grew up without then as did all of my parents generation- on their 80s/90s now. They love technology. Facebook is all silver surfer.

Some people are just dinosaurs who live in the past.

Nope, some people realise that tech is a tool, a means to an end, not the be all and bloody end all in itself that some make it out to be. For those old enough to remember - 'Why Don't You?' on the TV - the same can be applied to smart phones.

My 78 year old Mum doesn't love technology at all; has enough sense to know that she can't manage FB (and I'm not on it either, as I don't intend to be a cash source for Mr Zuckerberg), and only switches on her mobile when she wants to use it.

As to the pp who can't believe people read real books - yes, they do. I'm moving back to UK this year and have spent the last couple of weeks going through all my boxes of books, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. When there are power cuts, as there frequently are in my bit of Cornwall, I can light a candle, or an oil lamp, grab a book and read. I'm a bit stuck if it's a long power cut and my Kindle runs out of charge.

Really @teacher? Unless you're on Scilly's or living in the -actual- past then I don't think powercuts are actually that frequent here are they

Or were you just enjoying the opportunity to continue being condescending?

OP I'm so pleased for you! I'm going to try that book also but I have moved my charger away from my bed and left my phone upstairs yesterday for a couple of hours which is a big step for me :)

@Treaclesweet, while I agree that teacher's post was condescending I just wanted to say that we get quite a lot of power cuts where I live (very rural Bedfordshire), certainly every 2 or 3 weeks (which feels like a lot!) and for a few hours at a time. I also don't have a Kindle and only read books.

OP, I think it's massively positive that you've recognised this as a problem and trying to do something about it. People slagging you off and saying how they have a life blah blah doesn't actually help you in any way, they're only trying to make you feel crap. It always baffles me how some people refuse to acknowledge a problem just because they don't understand it. It's a very superior, and unkind, attitude.

Totally agree with your OP. I am the same and feel so bad about it, but likewise I can't seem to shake it. FB tells me when I've been on it for 1 hour in a day which helps but, God, I can spend hours trawling through MN posts!

My DH always asks what the difference is between reading a newspaper. Which I do kind of understand because when I was a child my stepdad would spend most of Sunday reading an array of papers and then we'd try and do the crossword as a family. For some reason though, that doesn't seem as bad as sitting reading your phone all day, even though quite often I am reading news articles.

I think the issue is, as others have said, so much is on our phones, banking, books, camera, calendar, notepad, shopping list, as well as social media. People blame social media a lot but actually it's all the other stuff which adds the time up.

I am off to investigate that book - obviously I will need to read the reviews on my phone!

Maybe we need some sort of phone 'amnesty' where we have to report in how long we've been on our phone each day!

Hi everyone. Thank you all so much for your replies and help so far. It has been invaluable to me and I am so thankful for the support. So today I have been really stressed out at home, I am due on my period and my DS was being a bit naughty so I was taking things out on him and was going back onto my phone after telling him off. It's not his fault. He is just a baby. He is my baby and I love him so very much. I tell him I love him every single day. I give him cuddles and kisses so he knows I love him. I wasn't too bad on my phone, but I could've been worse. I feel like I have neglected my baby again. I don't think I can do this anymore. I am going to buy a basic phone and just stick with that. It's a horrible addiction, smartphones are! Even with little to no apps, it is still designed to be addictive. I really need to get my shit together. Its scary to realise I rely on my phone so much to try and combat my isolation and loneliness. I wish I wasn't so much of an introvert because my husband is the total opposite. He loves socialising and going out with friends, whereas I will be the saddo that sit at home. It's sad that I am living my life like this at nearly 30 years of age.

@Itstheprinciple what a wonderful idea

Get a Nokia. I know you say that the whatsapp group is useful to you, but in every other way it sounds like its making you miss out on whats important.
Interesting to hear that you knit, get the needles out and accept that it'll take a while before you can knit comfortably without feeling that it's a poor substitute for the phone. Spend that time with your dc cos these years are irreplaceable and you are teaching them how to live, imagine if you were watching them just scroll down a phone- you'd be worried that they were missing out on living. I know it's hard to be an isolated, introverted single Mum cos I'm one too!
I read, embroider and knit a bit too. Being alone is really hard going at times, and it took a lot of anxious days and nights to get used to it, but you will get used to it and find your own groove, it just takes time. I know what you mean about mother and toddler groups, they can be clicky and dire and can actually leave you feeling more isolated, so perhaps look further afield, when my dc was young I took her to exhibitions, galleries and museums in the hope I'd meet like minded people. I didn't meet any like minded people, but it was tenfold more stimulating than the Mum and toddler groups!
My dc is now a teenager and I've just banned her mobile as it was heartbreaking to see her become so attached to her phone so quickly and the phone began to replace everything else. All those apps available out there are the devil in my view, they make us forget what we can achieve ourselves and trick us into thinking that we need to carry a miniature portable (really fucking expensive) computer with us at all times.
I'm always telling my daughter that one day her generation will look up from their screens to see a world that has changed beyond recognition, only they won't know it as they'll have spent so long staring at a screen they will have missed what was there in the first place!

One night when I was drifting off to sleep, thoughts were coming into my head I. The form of windows opening up, a si was also swiping thoughts away.
After that I cut down

I agree with many of the comments here about it being about creating a new relationship with the device that fosters healthier habits. Bear in mind these things are made to be addictive!