I am sick of being addicted to my phone.. sorry this is an upsetting rant from me

[cutoutaddiction]

Ironic im typing this on my phone but everyone is in bed asleep and I cannot sleep, got a lot on my mind.

I'm so fed up and tired of it. I have been addicted to my phone for as long as I can remember. Every night for hours on end up up on my phone instead of reading a book or doing some knitting. I am on it more than I am not. I have a toddler who deserves and needs my attention and I am a shit mum for not giving him it. The first thing I do in the morning is look at my phone and then I go back on it while having a cup of tea, then I get ready, go back on my phone again, do things in between... I almost threw it against the wall but I remained calm and just put it down. I hate the thing and it is ruling my life! I WANT to do other things that I ENJOY. Why am I not enjoying doing things with my toddler? Why am I a lazy cow for not taking him to the park? Or do some colouring? Why do I feel like I have to actually go toilet at work so I can whip out my phone and check that's going on? I can't do this anymore.

Please can someone tell me what to do to occupy mine and my DS time throughout the day when I'm off work? Should I just throw this shitty fucking thing that's controlling my life? I don't want my baby to feel neglected anymore. He deserves more than a shit mum who'd rather sit on her fat arse and play on her phone instead of spending precious time with him.

I am a total hypocrite saying this as I am on Mumsnet far too much atm but but...

...when I have cut down the key is to have a daily routine of phone use so it becomes second nature.

So, spend from 10 to 30 mins on phone first thing (if you want to) then just drop in for another ten mins to half hour at lunch time and then the same again before bed. Build your other daily routines around that and you get used to "switching" off at a certain time and if you switch on at another time it "feels wrong" ifyswim.

OP. rather than standard toddler groups, have you tried an activity group, like tumble tots. that way you have to be doing something with your tot. and not use your 'phone?

Me too. I spend majority of the day reading Mumsnet and scrolling Facebook. Also a single parent so it's my way of socialising. My 7 year old moans at me when we're supposed to be watching a film and I sit looking through my phone ugh I feel really bad now this thread has given me a kick up the arse realising how much of a problem it is that I can sit and watch a movie with my child

Thing is to people saying read a book- people don’t really read paper books do they?

Not true. Sales of paper books are increasing. I still buy lots of books though not often new ones. I tend to use the kindle app more for non fiction than fiction, just because it’s quicker and easier to find them in Amazon than in Waterstones.

could you plan the days out a bit more and tel your dc you will be doing this on such a day etc so you become accoutnable and have to follow through.
i think it has become in tiwine with your mental health too op.you sound so down on yourself and this will make the phone thing and judging and berating yourself an endless cycle.and so using it at first would be a safe space or calming then bee addictive and behavioral. and then a stict to beat urself with!
like with anything that becomes oen of those things you need to be kind to yoruself.work on how your feeling adn waht it eans to habve this phone in your life,but then who could you be without it.
and then slowly slowly chip away and do something different.its a huge shake up and cary feeling when you first take that step but like how you got used to using the phone so much it soon turns round the other way.
go and get your kitting and leave your phon where you got it from.give yourself ten minutes.but then see if youve have calmed into it so can continue.

I read on kindle because I prefer it to paper books, it's also cheaper because I only buy the books I want when the price drops to 99p, and easier because I don't have to trawl charity shops and library books to find them.

Also using a kindle ereader is not like a screen and there's no other function so can't go onto the internet like you could if using the kindle app on a phone or tablet.

Mobiles are truly the WORST thing ever invented. My DH spends all his time looking at or using his - even when we are out. Drives me potty!

I only occasionally use mine and really only have it for emergencies when I am out.

I made a decision to use the library and bookshop/second hand bookshop more so they don’t close down!
They’re always busy when I go in.

One thing that's forced me to get off the internet is watching subtitled foreign language TV so I have to concentrate or else I don't know what's going on.

Not suitable for when DC are around but I've watched Locked Up and Mr Avila on Channel 4 catch up. Both great programmes and very compelling if you like quite dark content.

Some people are just dinosaurs who live in the past.

To be fair, the OP is the one who recognises she needs help. Not using a phone/laptop constantly doesn't necessarily mean someone is living in the past, it may just mean they don't live virtually and live in the 'real' world IYKWIM?

We go on holiday once a year to a cottage where there is no WiFi and mobile internet varies from bad to non existent depending on the weather. So we are limited to occasional access when we are in a cafe in the nearest town half an hour’s drive away!

I get what you mean about a supportive WhatsApp group and not wanting to lose that. This is just an idea for a potential solution: do you have a laptop or desktop PC? You can set up WhatsApp Web. I find my attention is a lot less easily diverted by the PC and all the WhatsApp messages are easy to scroll through.

Could you consider keeping the phone for WhatsApp but uninstalling everything else and locking it in a drawer. As long as it's on then WhatsApp Web will work.

You could then have a brick phone for everyday use e.g. calls and texts.

Genuinely not trying to be goady but what are you all looking at on your phones all day? I'll check Twitter a couple of times a day and go on MN for an hour in the evening but other than Whatsapp messages, I can't see whatvelse there is to look at?

Are you all on every social media site going? Use lots of different forums, etc?

I realise this post makes me sound 100 years old but I'm actually only 40!

I was addicted to my phone. Somebody recommended me Catherine Price's book and it has been wonderful. I still use my phone (obvs) but am in charge of it rather than it being the other way round. It's not dogmatic or self-righteous in tone, and it's an easy read with practical steps to follow, many of which don't require willpower!

One thing that might help is to get an old fashioned alarm clock and have no media in your bedroom. Put the charger downstairs. That will likely result in less media overall and better sleep.

Don’t use the phone in the kitchen when your toddler is there.

If you have a laptop or desktop, install the WhatsApp application and use that to communicate with your friends.

If you don’t have 4g you can set the router up so that it turns off for whatever time you want.

Plan a single phone-free activity with your kid once a day.

The rest of the time, enjoy your phone rather than feel guilty.

I am not trying to be goady or sabotage your intent to cut down on your phone, OP, but why is reading books seen as better than watching TV or looking at stuff on your phone?

I suppose if you are reading an "improving book" that's different, but last week I was reading a Jilly Cooper - and I enjoyed it very much, thank you - but it did not enhance my intellect in any way whatsoever, whereas googling and reading random things might well have done, yet presumably some people would have said "oh how nice to you reading a book and not on your phone."

I guess what I mean is, don't beat yourself up so much. . .

Haven’t read all the thread but there was a brilliant app for android called Offtime. It really blocked any app for good until you wanted it back. I could switch everything except messages and phone calls off for the whole day! I can’t find a similarly good one for iOS. Someone needs to invent one!!

I appreciate that many people are addicted to their mobile phones, but I also find it quite baffling at times. I grew up and went to Uni before mobile phones became mainstream. I love my gadgets, consoles and tech. I probably spend far too much time on them, however there is a time and a place for them. I can’t understand why people go to baby groups, cinema and out for meals and have to look at their phones all the time. Those people that use their phones when driving are just a fyking menace.

MrsJBaptiste I go on mumsnet for a bit, read news articles. My news feed is bookmarked for news, travel, science, technology, astronomy, books and parenting.
I can get really into articles and they might spark an interest in something else related then I end up just reading more articles.
I also go on YouTube a lot and subscribe to some comedy, food and yoga stuff so can end up watching tons of stuff there. (I do often do some yoga following a YouTube channel)
If I put it all into practice, my life would be amazing

I agree with Others that you need to have more of a routine, and get out more.

I know what you mean about feeling you don’t fit into toddler groups, but are there other things you could do- library story times, swimming, park, book shops, etc.
I was in my phone too much and have started to do something in the evening- I’ve started sewing and also do some watercolour painting- you can learn all this off you-tube and I now really look forward to doing these things rather than just itching to get on the Internet.

Is there anything you fancy learning in the evenings?

Im the same. Hate it, but also have a few really good important to me things that i am unwilling to give up on. I really need to just cut down. Not just phone, but internet in general

I get bored and lonely a lot so I'm always on my phone. I've got a terribly twitchy eye now because of it so I'm trying to cut down.

I think many of us are guilty of this. Phones have taken over our lives, we use them to communicate, to take photos, to shop, to diagnose illness, to learn and to read the news, everything we need is on our phones.

I think we all need to cut down the amount of time we spend on them, go out more, visits relives and friends more, read a book, enjoy a hobby and actually go to a shop.

Start off by switching it off at night and putting it in a drawer, do the same when you eat. Maybe just set aside a hour or 2 a day where you use it?