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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dance photos of children

184 replies

GrandmaSharkdodo · 27/05/2019 09:14

I've had a violent reaction to a family members photos of her child and not sure if I'm just an old fuddy duddy. The girl is 13 and is a great dancer, competing at regional competitions. She's recently gone for some studio photos of her "dancing" and I think they are highly inappropriate and over sexualised. I know young teens often take risqué selfies as they want to look older, bit this was paid for and overseen by her mum. Obviously I can't and won't put the actual photos on here but this one is quite similar to one of them .. the photos are all over Instagram and are public. AIBU or is it a bit too much?

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 27/05/2019 09:15

I'm with you.

UrsulaPandress · 27/05/2019 09:16

Agree.

IDontDrinkTea · 27/05/2019 09:17

I agree. Inappropriate

cheeseislife8 · 27/05/2019 09:17

Agreed 100%

Asdfghjklll · 27/05/2019 09:17

That outfit on a child actually doing a dance move would be fine. Lying down like that is not.

Tmartnmum · 27/05/2019 09:18

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kaytee87 · 27/05/2019 09:18

Horrible. I'm with you op.

Bunnybigears · 27/05/2019 09:19

To be fair the picture you have posted (I know its an example not the actual photo) isn't too bad but I have seen the type of photos you mean and yanbu. Children's dance comps seem to be an exercise in how little clothing and how much make up/fake tan you can apply to a pre pubescent girl.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2019 09:20

Well she looks more dead that sexualised tbh, i think a lot depends on her facial expression.

Treaclesweet · 27/05/2019 09:21

Unless they're action shots how are they dance photos? Surely these are just glamour shots of a child Envy (not envy)

DownUdderer · 27/05/2019 09:22

Grim

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 27/05/2019 09:24

Yanbu. Dd does dance and some of the routines the seniors (15/16) do at the annual shows are awkward to watch.

notacooldad · 27/05/2019 09:26

Ewhat do you mean you had a violent reaction? ( genuinely intrested)

I don't know much ( anything ) about dance but I would have thought that the image in the picture is the final move in a dance. I don't see anything wrong with that particular picture but I have seen some where I have thought that they were inappropriate, and as you say highly sexualised, for the child's age and that is not on.

I do think what the fuck are the parents thinking allowing such photos to be taken and yet the 'dance moms' ( it is always dance moms) in my circle seem proud of them. I don't understand why it is ok.

wildhairdontcare · 27/05/2019 09:27

Very identifying!

kaytee87 · 27/05/2019 09:28

@wildhairdontcare how is it very identifying? Op has said the picture isn't the actual child in question, that the photos are similar.

wildhairdontcare · 27/05/2019 09:28

Given one google tells us the man has been accused of sexual assault he would not be photographing my child!

TrixieFranklin · 27/05/2019 09:29

@wildhairdontcare why is it? The photo used isn't of the child in question it's just an example random one off google?

Original poster
GrandmaSharkdodo · 27/05/2019 09:30

Ok I'm glad it's not just me... I think it's a combination of things, the poses are more glamour than dance, there are some cool dance shots too but more still then movement. The lacy leotard is almost the same, which I think is a bit borderline. She is heavily made up, which again for dance and performance can be acceptable. But it's the facial expression too I think. It is serious, looking at the camera, mouth open .. all put together it's really creeping me out. I'll put up another similar shot. Would you say anything? I think the mum may fall out with me if I do.

OP posts:
wildhairdontcare · 27/05/2019 09:30

@kaytee87 I think not taking off the photographers name threw me.

Comefromaway · 27/05/2019 09:30

I don’t see anything wrong with that particular picture. As an OP it’s obviously an end move of a probably contemporary based dance.

kaytee87 · 27/05/2019 09:31

@wildhairdontcare that might not be the photographer, I'd assumed op had found the picture on google actually.

Soubriquet · 27/05/2019 09:34

I don’t really see a problem.

I’ve seen plenty of photos of children doing acro and some of those positions look a bit risqué but it’s not meant as. It’s simply showing the skill of the girls.

Fakeflowersandlemonade · 27/05/2019 09:34

I Have seen these pictures before and I wholeheartedly agree. I also work in a primary school and regularly see girls as young as 4 coming to school on a Monday covered in false tan and with crimped hair. They just look unwashed imo. My own DD did competitive ballet for a while and I refused to fake tan her so she didn’t last long. What happened to children being children.

Comefromaway · 27/05/2019 09:36

The second picture is a lot older than 13

Norma27 · 27/05/2019 09:37

My daughter used to do gymnastics and do a big dance show as part of it.
One year they got her group to wear a really revealing costume similar to this one. and do a dance to a 50 shades of grey song. I was mad and they modified her costume slightly so it wasn’t as bad but I was still really unhappy. She would have been 9 or 10 at the time.
I refused to let her do this show again and she has now left the club. I wish I had not let her take part at all. Some pics were put on fb too and I would have gone mad if my daughter was included in them.
Parents are not now allowed to watch the training or see any costumes beforehand because of the arguments this costume caused.

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