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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dance photos of children

184 replies

GrandmaSharkdodo · 27/05/2019 09:14

I've had a violent reaction to a family members photos of her child and not sure if I'm just an old fuddy duddy. The girl is 13 and is a great dancer, competing at regional competitions. She's recently gone for some studio photos of her "dancing" and I think they are highly inappropriate and over sexualised. I know young teens often take risqué selfies as they want to look older, bit this was paid for and overseen by her mum. Obviously I can't and won't put the actual photos on here but this one is quite similar to one of them .. the photos are all over Instagram and are public. AIBU or is it a bit too much?

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 10:45

Butterpup

Nope. I have a little girl. If she wants a photo taken in a leotard when she’s 13 she can have one.

cantkeepawayforever · 27/05/2019 10:46

Lyrical dress (the only costume worn without tights - except for a modern theatre all in one catsuit with long legs) vs netball dress. Which is more revealing??

Dance photos of children
Dance photos of children
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 27/05/2019 10:47

Some posters seem to like going from thread to tread being oh so controversial and argumentative Hmm
OP YANBU

cantkeepawayforever · 27/05/2019 10:48

(Neither are DD's actual clothes, btw, but they illustrate the style. Skimpy outfits and provocative poses are NOT the norm in any dance schools round here - serious, ballet-focused schools which focus on exams rather than shows, but do also do festivals)

Original poster
GrandmaSharkdodo · 27/05/2019 10:49

@ReganSomerset
Thanks
That's what I was trying to get across. It's not the individual image.. there were a range of images, some which were great, of her ability to dance, of her movements etc. But some were borderline seductive poses leaning over a wall... I was asking myself where the line was. I think girls have it really hard already to fight the media pressure to be attractive, and we need to show them you are valued on more than how you look sexually.

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 10:50

GrandmaSharkdodo

We also need to show them that their bodies are their bodies. It’s a balance.

Langrish · 27/05/2019 10:51

Agree. People don’t think.

Butterpup · 27/05/2019 10:53

Tbh dance is quite a bit about image which is probably why little girls are so much more likely to be taken to classes as a very small children than little boys.

Original poster
GrandmaSharkdodo · 27/05/2019 10:57

@herculepoirot2

We also need to show them that their bodies are their bodies. It’s a balance.

I completely agree and my little one is still too young for this stage. Finding the balance will be my job when she's older. I just think that these photos are not while she's dancing, but staged and posed, and it's not just of her body, but false additions like hair extensions and fake tan, and the poses are guided by a photographer, not a dance teacher. It doesn't seem to be the child taking the lead and reflecting herself, but adults guiding her to be more "attractive".

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 10:58

GrandmaSharkdodo

You’ve seen the photos, I haven’t. I have no issue with the first example. That’s all I’m saying.

DointItForTheKids · 27/05/2019 10:58

My DD had dance pictures for their dance portfolio recently. She's 17. She's danced for years.

Some of the photos were slightly moody - think sitting, sideways on, 'hugging' herself whilst one pointe-shoe-clas toe pointed - absolutely not sexual at all but more ethereal than anything. Not sexualised, not suggestive. Quite typical when looking at pictures of ballet dancers and a fairly typical pose if you search for beautiful pictures of ballet dancer.

However the majority of the images were freeze frame action shots of jumps or holds with a partner (male/female) or jumping through a gauzy material to show the dynamics of a jump that made the picture more interesting.

I guess some are to show the beauty of the dancer's body, flexibility, musculature etc - if you read into that that it's sexual then I think you the viewer are the one with the problem.

What OP describes of a photograph of the child leaning over a wall - I think the photographer is a bit confused about what dance photos are meant to be!

I think the OPs sample picture certainly isn't an action shot nor is it showing the flexibility or strength of the dancer nor is it especially explaining in visual form, a particular style of dance or a typical known dance move being peformed - so as a dance photograph, it's a bit crap! I don't feel it's overly sexualised tbh but I do think it fails to do what it sets out to do, which should be to show that person's physical competency in a variety of positions in different styles of dance.

isthatabloborwhat · 27/05/2019 10:59

Totally with you OP.

Having had a dc who danced (not that sort), in years gone by I used to spend a lot of time on ebay searching for second-hand outfits and shoes etc.

Some of the photos on there of costumes for sale (for freestyle in particular) are jaw-droppingly inappropriate. Sequins and feathers and not much else. It's not just the revealing nature of the costumes, but the poses of the kids wearing them. Ugh.

RogueV · 27/05/2019 11:04

Agree.
Some have cropped up on my FB and I’m Shock at these teens!

Moofreemum1 · 27/05/2019 11:05

People can do reverse photo searches and if that picture is on an open profile they will be able to find it. Just letting you know

Butterpup · 27/05/2019 11:05

Tbh dance is quite a bit about image which is probably why little girls are so much more likely to be taken to classes as a very small children than little boys.

clairemcnam · 27/05/2019 11:08

I agree with you OP. If it is not appropriate outside dance, why should it suddenly be appropriate because you attach the word dance to it?

Miljah · 27/05/2019 11:09

moofree, the pictures the OP has posted are, for the tenth time, not her niece.

RTT.

Didiplanthis · 27/05/2019 11:09

My dd 9 does dance. Her dance school are pretty good - no fake tan, lip stain and mascara only for stage but quite alot of glitter or bright colours so obv not adult type make up. Even so some of it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when we go to comps and see other schools turning out 6 year olds like 17 yr old going clubbing. But most of these kids will then spend the rest of their life in joggers turning cartwheels and actually are less grown up in real life then alot of their non dance friends.

Guest8989 · 27/05/2019 11:10

As someone who does more sexualised dance and photo shoots I actually agree.

Dotty1970 · 27/05/2019 11:12

Totally agree

clairemcnam · 27/05/2019 11:12

Also it amazes me that parents post photos of children in skimpy outfits in sexualised poses, in public on face book.

ScottishDoll · 27/05/2019 11:17

We went to the local very well known dance college show , one of the songs was involving teenage boys and a young teachers breast, she gave them all a tissue and the song went on with them simulating wanking into the tissues.....

One year they got her group to wear a really revealing costume similar to this one. and do a dance to a 50 shades of grey song...Parents are not now allowed to watch the training or see any costumes beforehand because of the arguments this costume caused.

When my niece was about six, she had photos taken for a show and she had so much makeup on she looked like a drag queen. Her pose was very childlike, though. During a show for a different dance school, her age group performed to an uncensored version of Blurred Lines.

A 13 year old has sexual emotions, and will want a photo shoot to reflect their growing desire to be attractive to whomsoever they find attractive.

This makes me feel sick to my stomach, what the hell is wrong with people?

I recently took children to see a show called In The Willows, a modern revamp of The Wind in the Willows, except it wasn't, not at all. I totally lost my patience by the time Toad for no reason whatsoever climbed into a washing machine to take his clothes off and then spent the next few scenes in nothing but y-fronts and trainers.

There is only one reason for the sexualisation of children and children's shows/clothes/etc. That reason is child sex abuse and we should all speak out against it and stand up to it.

Pugpigprick · 27/05/2019 11:17

I get it.

I felt really uncomfortable as a 13-year-old cousin was in hot pants, crop top leaning over a couple of sports cars (quite a few different poses).

If she was in high heels (she was in trainers) it would easily would have passed for those 90s pictures of pretty girls Infront of pretty cars hanging in garages/boys bedrooms.

I couldn't believe a family member would pay for these pictures for her 'street dance' portfolio. She was also posted on the car owners FB page which has a few thousand followers and she was tagged. Absolutely disgusting.

Aquilla · 27/05/2019 11:22

Meh. Dancing is just like this.

Or are all Mumsnetter kids in ballet?

Pugpigprick · 27/05/2019 11:22

@butterpup

I think that's bit of a sweeping statement. Dance is first and formally a sport - either a team sport or an individual one. Dancers train as much as other athletes and it's good to teach children disciplin, being a team player, confidence and a good way to keep fit.

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