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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To walk out of hen do.

138 replies

Burlea · 26/05/2019 12:10

Last night there was about 15 ladies at a friends house. She is getting married for the 3rd time next Saturday. Unfortunately her 1st husband died, her 2nd marriage ended because she cheated with the man she marrys on Saturday.
We were drinking, chatting and laughing. No problems there until 3 ladies including the bride decided to talk about how they had cheated. The talk got more and more crude
as they were discussing 3somes, positions etc.It seemed as though they wanted to be the naughtiest. . Now I'm no prude but I am good friends with her ex-husband and also the ex-wife of the groom to be.(we live in a very small town). One person stood up and said I don't mind having a laugh but this is not funny as she walked out myself and another friend joined her.
This morning I got a group chat from the bride saying that us 3 are boring and that's what hen parties are about. Were we being UR.

OP posts:
Fucklt · 26/05/2019 16:18

You left because people were telling stories about their lives?

Confused

No, I don’t get it.

FrancisCrawford · 26/05/2019 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TapasForTwo · 26/05/2019 17:39

"No, I don’t get it."

Clearly you don't, and you seem to lack social awareness given that the vast majority of posters on this thread would also not want to listen to listen to detailed descriptions of other people's sex lives and details of how they cheated on their partners. You need to understand that not everyone is like you. It is called knowing your audience.

Fucklt · 26/05/2019 17:43

You need to understand that not everyone is like you.

The irony.

AudacityOfHope · 26/05/2019 17:46

I don't really see the need for walking out of an event either. You can just disagree with the way someone behaves, or say, c'mon guys let's grow up a bit. But storming out?? Never in my life felt the need to do that. It's very teenage dramatics.

TapasForTwo · 26/05/2019 18:27

I don't think they "stormed" out, just walked out.

AudacityOfHope · 26/05/2019 19:25

Semantics 🙄

mawof3soontobe · 27/05/2019 10:24

Oh my goodness, sex being compared to talking about chunks of vomit and period blood clots lol! Do get a grip! If you categorise discussions of a sexual nature with shit and vomit there's a bigger personal issue at hand

ToftyAC · 27/05/2019 17:26

What a bunch of crude and tiresome children. YANBU and for Christ’s sake, it’s not like it’s the only hen do she ever had.

Toooldfornonsense · 27/05/2019 17:34

Although I don’t agree with what the hen was talking about and sounds like she was bragging, it’s her hen do. If anything, if you know both parties ex’s (and say good friends at that) why were you at this woman’s hen do in the first place? Very odd

Tessabelle74 · 27/05/2019 17:37

Finding cheating amusing is so childish! Well done for walking out

Cryalot2 · 27/05/2019 17:39

Things can get too tacky .
You did the right thing.

MaMisled · 27/05/2019 17:40

Be proud of yourself.
They sound crude and traitorous.

livefornaps · 27/05/2019 17:41

Send her a link to the local clap clinic

grannieali · 27/05/2019 17:41

Must be my age, but I have never been present at a female do where this sort of talk was bandied around. I suppose that merely leaving early with an excuse would have been more tactful, but still sent a message.

1moremum · 27/05/2019 17:42

I think you 3 walker outers ought to reconsider which side of the dissolved relationships you want to stay friends with. Hint: not this woman or the three stayers who have also cheated, elaborately, and all think it's just a bit of fun.

Purplegecko · 27/05/2019 17:43

My friends and I do openly discuss our sex lives, I think that's normal for some friends, less normal for others. A bit of sex talk with girl friends after a few drinks is harmless.
However it is QUITE clear that the issue the women who left with OP had was that they were discussing the cheating, and OP is friends with the poor ex-husband and ex-wife who were cheated on.
I certainly wouldn't find it funny either, I imagine OP would know how distraught the exes were at being cheated on and having that laughed at and discussed in detail wouldn't sit right with me either.
Anyone who 'thinks' this is solely about the sex talk is being deliberately obtuse.

glennamy · 27/05/2019 17:46

You were right to walk out... No wonder so many marriages fail these days if that is their attitude!

Beautga · 27/05/2019 17:47

Hope she not getting married in white should be dirty grey

JonSnowIsALoser · 27/05/2019 17:55

You may be not invited to your friend’s fourth hen do in the future if that’s your attitude!

Saavhi · 27/05/2019 17:56

I did the same when one hen gave a stripper a blowie in front of us all. Some women really get carried away at these things.

GabsAlot · 27/05/2019 17:56

Its the laughing and joking about cheating that would bother me

BettysLeftTentacle · 27/05/2019 17:56

‘I’m sorry Sharon. It’s true, perhaps I don’t have many skills in the “fun” department but I do have class and self respect. Please don’t invite me to your 4th hen do or wedding because you clearly have neither.’

AzraiL · 27/05/2019 17:56

'Show me who their friends are and I'll tell you who they are'.

It may be time to throw away this whole friend and get yourself a new one, OP.

wonderwhat · 27/05/2019 17:59

Why are you friends with this person? She sounds utterly vile.