To think this isn't a compliment?

[PinkGlitter123]

To be told regularly and often that you look 17/18 at the age of 34.

Please stop apologising...

Ignore the people who can't get their heads out of the patriarchy's arse. It isn't actually a compliment to be considered younger than you are and you are under no obligation to take it as such.

Hi OP. People have been really harsh and not very understanding. I kind of get what you mean (I’m 34) and have at times in the past been thought of as a lot younger and can recall feeling embarrassed sometimes especially from slightly patronising comments. I’ve had people act shocked I have 3 kids or my eldest is nearly 12 etc.
A friend of mine who is 32 is very petite and recently cropped her into a pixie cut (she looked gorgeous) but whilst out recently she was mistaken as a teenager. We were all ID’d going into a bar! I think she finds it really annoying more than anything else. She has 2 children herself and says she doesn’t want to be perceived as a kid too!
I think to help feel a bit more confident, try altering your style. Not telling you to wear old granny clothing (!) but maybe try to wear some more tailored outfits rather than jeans/T-shirts etc which can make you look younger. A new hairstyle and makeover can do wonders - try going in for free makeup trial at department store counter for instance. These little things may help and also boost your self esteem. I think sometimes when you act confident and assertive in your mannerisms people think you as being older. x

*cropped her hair!

Well I am in my 40s and often get mistaken for 14-15 years old. I often get away with child fares on the bus and train, and people often think my husband is my dad.

It's such a dilemma

Doesn't help that I'm a tiny, size 8, and look like a teenage Russian swimwear model. #lifesucks

I show people my proof of age when I'm buying red bull, or herbal cough sweets, or 15 certificate video games, but they think it's fake and refuse to serve me. I have to ask my daughter to get it. She looks older than me!

PinkGlitter, I'm sorry, I didn't read this as a serious thread and I've re-set my page thingie so I have the whole thread on it now.

I meant my comment tongue-in-cheek and I'm sorry if my post upset you.

===

M3lon bang on about the patriarchy all you like but there is a massive industry out that that feeds off the insecurities of women - not because of men - but because of other women. Not hard to find a thread that supports the point either.

I'm massively fat and in my late 30s and people think I'm half my age. I always think it's the obesity filling in the wrinkles...

It can be really frustrating, especially when you're a professional and external agencies you work with don't take you seriously because they think you're new to the role. It's also really embarrassing when you're with your husband and tweens and you're asked for ID for BBQ tools and J20.

@mabelsgarden

I understand what you mean OP. I think when you are small in general people think you are younger. I have a friend who 4'11, not super slim more athletic but small breasts, narrow hips. She has a super cute face with lots of freckles and she is often ID'd. She is 41. She is super cute and childlike and she would love to be seen as more grown up and "womanly". One thing though is she dresses very young too, and I think that doesn't help. I think if she were to change her hair and clothing it would make a difference in what she wants to be seen as. That said, there's nothing wrong with her (or you) at all. I would just embrace it for however long it lasts.

I also used to put on a deeper voice to try to get people to listen. Some people literally could not hear my normal voice properly without hearing aids. And phone systems often used to filter high pitched voices out (when conferencing etc). The deep voice was also excellent for getting the dog to obey!

@GPatz - Better to be sarcastic cunt than a nasty cunt.

Was that addressed to me? Rather childish reaction to being called out on a misinterpretation (or misrepresentation) of my post. Feel free to take being called childish as a compliment though

When I was 31. I joined a bridge club with my mum. I overheard one of the bridge players saying to my mum. Isn’t it past her bedtime. She thought I was about 12 ☹️

Of course it's a compliment, see how you feel when people no longer say it..

It's been a year since anyone ID'd me a store!! (I'm 46). It's great!! It's great to not have that weird awkwardness where the students assumed I was a fellow student and then realised I was lecturing them. It's great not to be asked which academic I work for (answer: me). [And I will ignore the person who assumed I was there for an admissions interview today and chased me out of the corridor when I said I wasn't; I didn't realise they could book out the whole corridor in addition to some of the rooms, and I'm not sure they really did, but didn't want to deal with it...just hope I don't into that person professionally anytime soon]

@MaxNormal

@GPatz - oops. Hoisted on my own petard! Sorry - I misread your username.

lying its the patriarchy that decrees that women are more valuable with young / nubile etc. when men are more valuable as they age and acquire skill/wisdom.

The fact that the cosmetics industry pours millions into convincing women that this is still true in 2019 is of course a major issue...but also one that is mostly making money for men.

its hard. I do blame women a little for being brainwashed by this shit...but I blame the people with the resources and funds to perpetrate the brainwashing more.

I was asked for ID last week to prove it was over 18. I am 58!

I not it

I'm very happy indeed that I'm finally beginning to look more my age. Its helped no end in my career.

Many many women have more going on in their life than just their looks.

I would be insulted. I get asked for ID sometimes and I'm 31 with four kids who are obviously mine. My eldest is 10, so obviously some people have no common sense.

M3lon that is very true and I should have thought before I posted. I do agree with your points.

We, women, ought to be able to stand against this, support other women whatever they look like as if looks bear no relation at all. But many women do not do this, they judge and publicly declare allegiance to this misogynistic and insidious nonsense.

I'm guilty of it myself. I was telling somebody how much of a fox I thought Donald Sutherland was - and yet Dame Helen and Dame Judi are also 'foxes', yet it feels different somehow?

It is hard. I have a daughter and I absolutely dread her reaching the age where she will have to 'fit in' or 'stand out' - there is no middle ground and that's tragic really. Just because of her sex. A male child has no such impediment.

My sister's husband almost got arrested in Florida for having a smooch with his wife who in her 30s looked more like 14. They had to show her passport to put off the angry mob 😂😂😂

She's in her 50s now but just doesn't age, most people think she's in her 30s.

Twat.

I used to get id'd alot not anymore

My dsis is 30 and people think shes 16 she takes it a as acompliment because it wont last forever

No offence @cookiechomper how would people obviously know they are your kids?

People are busy thyre not going to stand and look at your kids and try and work out how old you are

Isthisafreename

Yes?