To think this isn't a compliment?

[PinkGlitter123]

To be told regularly and often that you look 17/18 at the age of 34.

Some strangers have been shocked when they realise my toddler is mine. Im 29 so not shocking, have been told I look really young. Still get asked for ID.

whothedaddy
Your username and post makes me laugh. Your partner is your daddy??

Oh op, I think this is more of a self esteem issue than a looking younger than your age issue.
A woman can look and feel glamorous whatever her age or however old or young she looks. It’s down to confidence and knowing what suits you. Change your hair if you don’t like it, a good hairstyle that you like boosts your confidence sky high. If your legs are short wear high waisted skinnies, leave off the trainers and wear wedges to give your legs some length. Get a couple of uplifting padded bras if your a little bit lacking boob wise.
Regarding other people’s attitudes towards you, are you assertive enough, if you have an air of vulnerability about you others will pick up on it.
I don’t think you are bragging, if anything you sound quite low.

It's supposed to be a compliment but shock at my actual age often makes me wonder whether it's because people find me immature

Same here @LucyAutumn

No one in their thirties looks 17 or 18.

I used to get this all the time. Then I had DC2...i think I've aged about ten years in the six months since! I work in a school and would frequently get mistaken for a sixth former by new/supply teachers despite being in my early 30's. I found it a bit embarrassing and it was annoying on the couple of occasions when I've tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket but was refused because I didn't have proof of age on me. No one asks me for ID anymore! I can't believe I was ever annoyed about it, certainly beats looking old and knackered.

Mummyoflittledrago

ha ha I didn't clock that.
I do get the OP point though. I work in a rather serious profession and I do feel that looking younger means I have to work harder to prove my competence and experience as people have the opinion (due to my appearance) that i'm possibly young and dumb.

My 9 year old gets completely annoyed when I get mistaken for her sister too.

I think DesperadoDan makes some good points. There are simple things you can do to boost your self-esteem. Ignore the women on here who will soon moan about being "shallow" or "vain" for putting effort into the way you look- nothing is wrong with that if it makes you happy!

I've heard a good saying which I believe to be true: 'It's not vanity, it's self care. There's a difference."

women need more self respect! Why would it be a compliment to be thought to be younger and less experienced than you are?

You don't see men aged 30 feeling really chuffed to be mistaken for a teenager do you? Why? Because men have more self-respect (arguably sometimes even too much self-respect - but hey!)

I do see how this comes across as a boasting thread and perhaps insensitive. It really wasn't intended to be. I am not attractive or think I am by any stretch. It's more to do with how I perceive myself and how others see me. Nobody wants to look like or be seen as a kid when they are pushing 40.

greyt how can you care for yourself by constantly asserting you aren't good enough as you are?

Its double think at its best.

Self-care is deciding you are just fine as you are.

OP yanbu.

Anyone who is proud of being mistaken for a child has several screws loose.

Anyone who thinks looking younger than they are is something to aspire too has self-esteem issues.

@GreytExpectations - Don't be so bitter Isthisafreename nothing is wrong with self-care. Some of the "gunk" is actually good for your skin.

I'm not sure how you managed to infer bitterness from my post. I think the word you were looking for was cynical. Most gunk is over priced and rarely does what it claims.

I never said there was anything wrong with self-care. I actually use gunk occasionally. I exercise regularly and eat reasonably healthily. I started to moisturise on an almost daily basis once I hit my late 40's as I found my skin was drier than it used to be and it feels nicer when moisturised. Prior to that, I would put some on if I washed my face with soap as that made my skin feel a little tight.

Not using it didn't make me look older (or younger for that matter). I've always looked younger. I still do. I don't consider it to be any sort of achievement on my part.

You aren’t “pushing 40”, you’re 34.

I get it OP. I'm 32 and regularly mistaken for an 18-20 year old. Doesn't help that my partner is 10 years older than me. We constantly get filthy looks and people have even commented on at least five occasions, particularly when we go on holiday together for some reason. It really gets to me sometimes, and he's not keen on being perceived as some kind of pervert either!

I have a bloated tummy too thanks to ulcerative colitis so can't even say I am slim particularly as my stomach certainly isn't anything to gloat over 😐

op try glasses :) they have given me a small measure of the respect my position and qualifications automatically give my equivalent male colleagues....its been at least 6 months since anyone asked if I was student (I'm 40 and have been running my own research group for the last 10 years).

It’s one of those things, OP. People probably think you will be pleased. We all end up old or pushing up the daisies, so try not to let it get to you.

greyt how can you care for yourself by constantly asserting you aren't good enough as you are?

I'm sorry but your post doesn't make sense. That's not what i'm suggesting at all. The way you dress, look and present yourself is a personal choice-a lot of women feel happy to do a bit of make-up or when they wear certain things. I'm quite short but whenever I put a pair of heels on I feel my confidence increase. That doesn't mean I don't think i'm good enough without them a sI hardly ever wear them anyway. Doing things to enhance certain aspects of yourself by choice is not saying "you aren't good enough"

Self-care is deciding you are just fine as you are.

No, that's self-acceptance.

hercule
I struggle with my weight. I’m fat. Some people struggle to put on weight. It sounds as if op struggles with self confidence. Just because her issue isn’t one of weight, does it mean her issues are less than people with weight issues?

Some of these comments are uncalled for, I totally get this OP, I had the same for years (less so of late, think my children are ageing me!). I do think having a petite build is part of it. People thinking you're a bit younger than your age can be great, but thinking you're 20 or so years younger is really annoying and I actually find it embarrassing. I used to often get asked how long I'd been doing my job, surprises them rather when I say 15 years!

I know what you mean OP. It's embarrassing after awhile. I get asked if I'm a student (no, I'm 39), and ID'd buying alcohol. I laugh it off but it can get wearing. Especially as I'm someone who hates having attention drawn to me, having people exclaim when I tell them how old I actually am is mortifying.

I started to moisturise on an almost daily basis once I hit my late 40's as I found my skin was drier than it used to be and it feels nicer when moisturised.

Thought you hated "that gunk"?

Epic stealth boast!

Mummyoflittledragon

No, obviously she is allowed to be upset at whatever she wants. But given the premium our society places on slimness and the negative stereotyping of overweight people, it does rather come across as complaining that your diamond shoes are killing you.