To think this isn't a compliment?

[PinkGlitter123]

To be told regularly and often that you look 17/18 at the age of 34.

I think it’s meant as a compliment yes.

I'm 55 & wouldn't want to be mistaken for a teen.

35 would do though

Yes, I wouldn't mind at all if people thought I was late twenties but 17/18 is a child and certainly nothing to be proud of.

I know what you mean OP.
I don't mind it initially when people seem surprised, but when they ask you are sure that's your age it's really fucking insulting. Yes of course I know how old I am.

I don't get mistaken for a teen any more, but at the age of 44 I do get mistaken for someone in my late 20's.

DH is 50, he's been mistaken for my dad several times. He's used to it now and laughs but was quite upset the first few times as was I as the implication was we were up to something strange and illegal, as they'd seen us holding hands etc.

Honestly please believe me when I say this is not a stealth boasting thread. I mean it when I say none of you would think that if you saw me in person. I do apologise again if it has offended people, it certainly was not meant to do so and I am sorry if I have upset anyone.

If you think that your place in life is always to be a nubile young girl, then it is a compliment,

If you hoped to be treated as an adult, capable of making grown up decisions and being trusted to do a responsible job, then it is rubbish.

I sympathise - I rapidly went from being someone regarded as being too young and immature to be trusted with much, to being too old to be treated seriously.😕

There really wasn't much time in the middle where I felt that I was regarded as a fully functioning adult. I've had some youthful handsome male colleagues who also felt they weren't taken seriously for the same reasons.

My advice would be to ignore comments about your youthfulness and do your job professionally as you can. Fortunately some people will judge you by what you do rather than what you look like.

17/18 is a child and certainly nothing to be proud of.

Not sure it’s anything to be ashamed of either. It’s just genetics.

I look young for my age. I’m pretty sure it’s the fat in my face that pushes out any wrinkles I might otherwise have. If I ever lost the extra —5— 3 stone I’m carrying I have s feeling I’d look like deflated balloon and age about 10 years.
When people say you look young they are almost always meaning you look good. Try and not over think

People usually say it when you have greasy / spotty skin. So definitely not a compliment

You said you were petite and slim, then said 'I have a bloated tummy too thanks to ulcerative colitis so can't even say I am slim particularly'

^^

Which is it? Pick a lane!

Op I understand what you mean.

It's frustrating to be mistaken for a teen when you're a fully grown and capable woman. And annoying that people feel free to comment on your age. It's just one of those things i suppose. Not a lot you can do.
Could be worse, they could think you're 60.

It's a huge compliment. I regularly got told I looked 19/20 until about age 35. I liked it. And I wasn't a 'silly girl' I've always been told I had an old head on young shoulders.

I think it depends entirely on the situation. Sometimes it is said as a compliment but
I often feel patronised because people think I'm younger than i am so treat me like im younger. Especially professionals!

@PinkGlitter123 I get it too, I'm short but not petite and look younger than I am, people do talk to you in a patronising way, often with a sweet sickly voice too. I've been in work meetings and the tone is obvious to everyone - even though I've often been the oldest one there

PinkGlitter123 you don't have anything to apologise for. It's purely jealousy driving the bitchy comments. You sound lovely.

Jeezo why is the OP being flamed for looking young and being petite and slim.

Jealous much ffs.

Women are so bitchy sometimes, especially to more attractive women!

People just make such a big deal out of it, doesn't help that I am petite and slim too

Must be devastating

@GreytExpectations - Thought you hated "that gunk"?

You're obviously reading things into my post that are not written there. I said "Woo-hoo you manage to throw appropriate gunk on your face. Well done."

You may have missed the element of sarcasm, but the implication of what I wrote is that putting gunk on your face is not an achievement that warrants comment. There is nothing there that suggests there is anything good/bad about putting gunk on your face.

I once opened the door (in my 30's) to a salesman who said ' is your mum or dad home?' So I abruptly asked why he would want to speak to my mum or dad, to which he replied 'well, I meant the homeowner'.
(I was the homeowner!).

Looking back I see it as a compliment, but at the time I was a bit taken aback and annoyed that he didn't see me as an adult, so yes I can understand what you are saying.

I know what you mean. I used to look a lot younger than my age. I used to get fed up with people asking for ID. Then one day they stopped saying it. I miss that now!

Sorry OP but I think you VERY much relish being told this and take it as a compliment - with gusto.

I was wondering why you might start a thread on it and realised that you'd like further validation of your 'youth and cuteness'...

You must have had to really think about the phrasing of your AIBU.

There was meant to be a on the end of that, btw.

I really am sorry if I am upsetting people.

To answer a PP's question, the ulcerative colitis I suffer from has given me a bloated /pushed out stomach so I certainly don't have a super slim/toned stomach.

Better to be sarcastic cunt than a nasty cunt.

PinkGlitter123 Fri 24-May-19 15:29:13
I do see how this comes across as a boasting thread and perhaps insensitive. It really wasn't intended to be. I am not attractive or think I am by any stretch. It's more to do with how I perceive myself and how others see me. Nobody wants to look like or be seen as a kid when they are pushing 40.

It shouldn't matter if you think you are attractive though OP. I've seen a few of these threads and some folk don't half come across as jealous and bitter. It should be fine to describe yourself as petite and slim and not be shot down in flames, but that doesn't happen on here. Hey ho.

My mum is under 5 ft and had a very slight build when she was young. She always said she struggled to be taken seriously in the workplace in some jobs. She actually tried to work on a slightly lower speaking voice for a while as she read somewhere that that would help. My sister is often asked for ID still in her mid-30s, but we reckon that's more because she doesn't wear make-up much at all and has a kind of quirky fashion sense with a v. blunt fringe, glasses, etc. that makes it more difficult to judge a person's age. I'm in my mid-40s and definitely look my age I think, but I'm ok with that. The whole focus on age/youth in general I find a bit depressing tbh.