To refuse to look after this child until she speaks with perfect pronounciation [Lighthearted]

[DirtyDennis]

I looked after a friend's 3 year old this morning.

She can't pronounce Hobnobs so just calls them nobs, which her mother doesn't discourage because she thinks it's hilarious.

We went to Tesco, the local Tesco that I regularly shop at where people know me. Several hundred people overheard her shouting at the top of her voice at a million decibels how much she loves nobs.

She told the woman at the check-out that me and her were going home for a cup of tea and some nobs. Then she told a different check-out woman that brown nobs (chocolate ones, she describes all foods by their colour) were my favourite.

On the bus back to mine she asked me very loudly if we could get the nobs out. Two women chuckled so I said "It's Hobnobs remember" just so they knew what she meant. This made the women laugh more, which made her just start shouting "nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs" until I physically man-handled her off the bus.

Fucking hell. I'm thinking of refusing to look after this child until she speaks with perfect RP to save my blushes!

😂😂😂😂 brilliant.

This is absolutely brilliant. I might have persuaded her that we wanted to buy another kind of biscuit, just so she had fewer occasions to say it!

I was in Tesco yesterday and there was a mother in the alcohol aisle with two kids. A girl or about 6-7 and a boy who was about 3.
He was crying saying over and over "I want gin! But I want gin!"
The sister was saying "no it's bad for us, we could die!"

"But I WANT GIN!"

If the mother is on here, I think I love your kids.
It was amazing.

I too, love gin, little one.

My friends boy use to pronounce tr as f, his granddad use to call his Land Rover a truck now it’s called a Land Rover.

@NewAccount I wish - she had fucking tractor beams for nobs as soon as we got into Tesco. That girl seriously does love nobs

A friends little girl used to shout a lot about ' Big Dicks'....'mummy look there's a big dick...I want a big dick....it's not fair, mummy that boys got a big dick, why can't I have a big dick.....' on and on.

Trouble saying the 'st' at the beginning of words.

My dd, who was already mispronoucing cucumber, last night called it dingle bumber.

A toddler shouting nobs on the bus would have me in stitches!

I remember someone showing off their new baby in the playground and ds aged 2 asking where you
Bought babies from. I explained babies were made and not bought. Next thing he is yelling across the playground 'mummy let's go home and make a baby'

Dingle bumber is brilliant

I would have laughed at you both but only because I understand!

When ds was 3 he started shouting cockadoodle doo randomly. Except he just shouted the cock part. I remember him shouting cock along a quiet street and my friend adding the "a doodledoo!" Part 😂

Brilliant!
My son used to struggle with his speech and for some reason made a sl sound instead of fl
He saw lots of bunting hung up in the very busy park one day and shouted very loudly 'Mummy look at all the slags'

My DS used to call Elmo homo and would not be corrected. Tesco trips were never great during that phase

I always used to read these kind of child mispronunciation threads and be a bit confused as to why people found it so embarrassing. I get it now. Boy do I get it.

@hazeyjane Oh! my DS also used to say this! My first thought when reading the beginning of this thread was of DS running around in the park 'I've got a big dick! Mummy! Look at my big dick!'

As you say- difficulty pronouncing 'st'.

My aunty used to get me to shout for my mum and dad by their first names as I couldn’t pronounce them properly and instead sounded like I was shouting not one but two rude words (can’t say what cos it would be too outing)

It's not just kids. My own mother once shouted loudly in Tesco just how much she loved cock porn.

Pop corn. She loves pop corn.

My ds used to say dumb fuck instead of dump truck, gave me no end of joy!

Working in a preschool, it is also surprising how many children struggle with the word 'fork', substituting an uck sound for the ork sound. Most alarming.

When my third child was a toddler, he couldn't say chocolate, it came out as cock-lick. Once when his father had annoyed me, I made him take Child 3 shopping and told him that Daddy had to buy him some chocolate.
My husband came home furious, because the child (who had a speech delay) yelled "Dadda want cock-lick, Mamma said" all the way round the shop.

My 4 year old (who has some speech delay) when leaving my brothers house recently, asked what the picture on the wall was (The Sex pistols). I told her and she spent the rest of the day saying randomly "Daddy, I want sexuals"

I put a stop to it by actually playing her the Sex Pistols, wish I'd thought of it a few hours earlier though.

Try being the mother with the toddler at a cinema matinee yelling "mummy! MUMMY! they have cockporn!! DID YOUR HEAR ME THEY HAVE COCKPORN! I want COCKPORN Mummy!!"

I had a big gin that evening let me tell you.

"nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs"

@Bujinkhal I want sexuals

DD3 called Tescos Testicles for a while