To refuse to look after this child until she speaks with perfect pronounciation [Lighthearted]

[DirtyDennis]

I looked after a friend's 3 year old this morning.

She can't pronounce Hobnobs so just calls them nobs, which her mother doesn't discourage because she thinks it's hilarious.

We went to Tesco, the local Tesco that I regularly shop at where people know me. Several hundred people overheard her shouting at the top of her voice at a million decibels how much she loves nobs.

She told the woman at the check-out that me and her were going home for a cup of tea and some nobs. Then she told a different check-out woman that brown nobs (chocolate ones, she describes all foods by their colour) were my favourite.

On the bus back to mine she asked me very loudly if we could get the nobs out. Two women chuckled so I said "It's Hobnobs remember" just so they knew what she meant. This made the women laugh more, which made her just start shouting "nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs" until I physically man-handled her off the bus.

Fucking hell. I'm thinking of refusing to look after this child until she speaks with perfect RP to save my blushes!

We live outside uk. When William and Kate got married we arranged a small garden party and decorated the front garden with bunting.
We invited the neighbours who all thought we were a nice but nuts. One in particular was quite rude about it and refused the invite.
One morning I was feeding my little boy in his high chair, the bunting was just up and his highchair overlooked the front garden, all the windows were open. At the time he confused his 's' and 'f' sounds.
Nasty neighbour was walking past our house "Oh look mummy!" He said pointing at the garden... "a slag"

It doesn’t stop with toddlers.

Dd aged 10 was mucking about with some slime and said it was more like putty, and it was basically slime crossed with putty. Thought about it, then declared it to be “slutty”.

She’s more ‘streetwise’ these days at nearly 12 but at that age was still fairly innocent...

A family member had a long-term boyfriend called William, known as Willie (you can see this coming).

At a family event her small son (about 5yo at that point) sat on the bf's lap for a cuddle, proclaiming "I love my Willie"

The Grandad was largely non verbal after a major stroke but at that moment piped up "I'm rather fond of mine too"

DM and I have been laughing over this thread. She tells me that, growing up bilingual in England, my siblings and I made more than our fair share of funny mistakes. I don't remember them at all, but she says that many times she had to contain herself when we mixed up our languages and innocently said something that our English-speaking listeners did not realise was exceptionally rude!

I have blocked most of DS' out, but recently he woke up after a nightmare and caught me watching something called Hardcore Pawn.

Its all about a pawn shop in Detroit, so not bad, but a lot of swearing, also probably all as staged as possible.

His reading had come on leaps and bounds, but since he had been scared awake and I muted it didn't think much of it. Till he informed my dad about me watching it and how it wasn't suitable for children.

That was a fun conversation with my dad about how I wasn't watching porn infront of my child, to make it worse we were in a a fairly busy resturant, god knows how many people heard DS say it

My daughter used to pronounce Butlins as Chitlins (the lining of a cows intestines) she is now 12 and we still call it Chitlins today.

She informed me the other day that she had closed her window door as opposed to just closing the window 😂

When reading out a specials board at a restaurant she pronounced chicken balti as chicken baliti and chicken breast is still referered to as chicken beast from her younger days.

Oh and Benedict Cumberbatch is Benedict Cucumberbatch, she's the gift that keeps on giving!

What's best is she is incredibly clever but just appears to have random glitches 😂
Otherw

Haha - reminds me of when my dd (about 3?) and I were on a train saw a picture of 1D and shouted loudly that she could see One Erection!

My DS used to say play doh like “Pee doh” the looks I got

Not such mispronounced but my DD calls Gerkins Turkeys. Always asks me to take the turkey out of her burger 😂

Dd went through a phase of wanting to hand over the money in shops/on busses etc herself.
Went to the cinema for the first time and at the sweet stand- “mummy looooook at all that cock porn” “yes yes there’s lots of popcorn isn’t there?”
Turned around to a group of young lads about 15 behind us “I’m going to pay for my cockporn all by myself”
They were purple in the face and steadfastly trying to ignore her whilst she repeatedly asked if they were also getting and what was their best kind (flavour) of cockporn.
So tempted to take her by the hand and go let’s and go and find your mummy and drag her off