To refuse to look after this child until she speaks with perfect pronounciation [Lighthearted]

[DirtyDennis]

I looked after a friend's 3 year old this morning.

She can't pronounce Hobnobs so just calls them nobs, which her mother doesn't discourage because she thinks it's hilarious.

We went to Tesco, the local Tesco that I regularly shop at where people know me. Several hundred people overheard her shouting at the top of her voice at a million decibels how much she loves nobs.

She told the woman at the check-out that me and her were going home for a cup of tea and some nobs. Then she told a different check-out woman that brown nobs (chocolate ones, she describes all foods by their colour) were my favourite.

On the bus back to mine she asked me very loudly if we could get the nobs out. Two women chuckled so I said "It's Hobnobs remember" just so they knew what she meant. This made the women laugh more, which made her just start shouting "nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs" until I physically man-handled her off the bus.

Fucking hell. I'm thinking of refusing to look after this child until she speaks with perfect RP to save my blushes!

I think lots of children do the dick and cockporn things. Mine did when they were little and my friends little girl does it too.
Particularly funny last week when said friend was making lunch and asked her Dd whether she wanted cubes or slices of cheese.
Nope. She wanted ‘dick cheese with her cumcumber dicks’.

My 2 year old ds seems to have one of those voices that really carries which has just led to an interesting trip to the supermarket.
In the toilet he started messing with the toilet brush and was told off twice. The second time quite firmly. At this point he shouted
“No mummy, don’t smack me. Ow that’s not kind.”
I honest to goodness hadn’t touched him!

I would just like to add that neither him or his two older siblings have ever been smacked. Honestly.

DS2 had a cuddly fox, or as he called it ‘my fuck’, one day he decided he wanted to carry it everywhere, I remember deciding to let him hold onto it as we walked DS2 into his classroom as attempts to remove it had resulted in him yelling ‘my fuck, my fuck’ in the car, only for DS1’s teacher to crouch down and ask him ‘who’s this little animal DS2 ‘MY FUCK!’

When DS was a baby and bfeeding, DD (2.5 at the time) used to say he was eating from my "bloobrries". DS used to call a carpark a parcark.

For years I had bloobrries and not breasts. It became a family word.

DD1 did the f instead of tr for trucks. D instead of st. Ambulances are amblyances which is cute. She called the kitchen the shitgen for a while.
DD2 misses the beginning of words a lot. She keeps points at my face saying “asses!”.

It'll be easy to refuse to look after this child, as this is fictional.

DD1 used to call a knife a life. Pretty soul destroying when she’s sat there shouting “get a life mummy get a life”

Not mispronunciation, but we're really working on tact & not remarking on people's appearance with DS5. We've had "she is very small, for a human" on passing a particularly petite elderly lady, "you should get a job" to a homeless guy (he was genuinely trying to make a helpful suggestion, but I was MORTIFIED) and worst of all, a full volume, cheerful "hello!" to a guy with dwarfism in the street, immediately followed by "wow, that is one funny looking man!" to DH. I'm getting hot with shame thinking about that one. If he'd just not greeted the guy, then I'd have had some hope he'd not heard.

My cousin’s daughter loved currants when she was little. Unfortunately that translated into her running around Asda shouting ‘Want cunts Mommy, want cunts!’

I think I'd have tried to persuade her that raisins were nicer!

I was in Tesco with my son getting Sunday roast, I asked if he wanted swede - you can get what his reply was in an isle full of people! Yes can we get some WEED

Ds was an early (and prolific!) talker, but his speech was very unclear. The same sound could mean multiple things, and you had to work it out from the context. There's a MNer whose name always reminds me of him, as at one point Tesco, flat (where we lived), breakfast, thank you and Lego were all "fekko".

My daughters best two were boobs were called elbows (I used to say mind your elbows when she would wack me in the boobs) and the other one she had two imaginary friends - ordinary and extra ordinary. She also had a habit of calling her soft toys what they were so owly, lamby etc so one day she got a new soft toy a giraffe and I said could she think of something a bit more imaginative to call him....she came back with Tall-y sigh

My cousin loved Thomas the Tank Engine. In the days where the episodes included the Fat Controller, their favourite, they’d shout for the ‘fucking troller’ every time

Haha sounds like he has been encouraged to say nobs a bit.
My dd liked blueberries but couldn't say it so called then boobies. That was a bit embarrassing when she was asked for boobies in the supermarket.

My DD, aged 2, loves asking for bitchshits (biscuits) on a regular basis. Often loudly and repeatedly

My nephew is 3 and can't say look it comes out as fuck so when he's excited and wants to show you something he shouts fuck fuck fuck at this

Nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs.

Got myself a number packet, brown nobs too.

Just saying

bumper not number

My son loudly announced to a packed cinema queue that his Nanna was excited because she loved cock porn 😂😂 I’m sad he calls it pop corn now

My daughter is 2, and says “thank you you’re welcome” all the time. Except it comes out as “thank you you wanker”

Probably been missed pronounced by so many children at some point but dd2 (4) requested buggers for tea instead of burgers!

Haliborange was always Halibut orange at home. Mortified when I called it that one day at work when talking to my boss.

Last autumn my DD(2) used to stomp through the fallen leaves saying "cunts cunts cunts" (crunch).

@CurtainsOpen

It'll be easy to refuse to look after this child, as this is fictional

No, it's not fictional. What a boring thing to make up.

LOL. That poster has obviously never had toddlers.