To refuse to look after this child until she speaks with perfect pronounciation [Lighthearted]

[DirtyDennis]

I looked after a friend's 3 year old this morning.

She can't pronounce Hobnobs so just calls them nobs, which her mother doesn't discourage because she thinks it's hilarious.

We went to Tesco, the local Tesco that I regularly shop at where people know me. Several hundred people overheard her shouting at the top of her voice at a million decibels how much she loves nobs.

She told the woman at the check-out that me and her were going home for a cup of tea and some nobs. Then she told a different check-out woman that brown nobs (chocolate ones, she describes all foods by their colour) were my favourite.

On the bus back to mine she asked me very loudly if we could get the nobs out. Two women chuckled so I said "It's Hobnobs remember" just so they knew what she meant. This made the women laugh more, which made her just start shouting "nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs" until I physically man-handled her off the bus.

Fucking hell. I'm thinking of refusing to look after this child until she speaks with perfect RP to save my blushes!

My siblings and I said some weird things as kids. My brother has a name that's more difficult to pronounce (he does not use his full name as an adult) and my one brother used to mess it up. The brother with the difficult name also used to say, "Up down", when he wanted to be picked up, and "Going backwards" while looking out the window when we were driving in the car.

There's a Fowl Language cartoon where the mum says it's her responsibility to teach her kids proper language - unless they say something cute. They can do that all day. The kid proudly displays new wellies and says to the mum, "Look at my new boops!" The mum says, "Very nice!" or something to that effect.

My DS (2 soon) screams "FUUUUUUUUUCKS" whenever he sees a Fork 😳

It's great at restaurants 👌

Not a mispronunciation, but DD1 went through a phase at pointing at random men in the supermarket and shout “Daddy!”. I can imagine the conversation the poor men had to have to explain to their partners that they weren’t actually her father.

I'm loving this thread! My DD used to always say "sh" rather than "s". This created an awkward moment in front of lovely but slightly prim and proper MIL when DD came up to the dining table for tea and proudly announced "I shit here!"

@DirtyDennis

Only if you get your nobs out.

My DS aged 7 made us all howl the other night when he was telling us the story of his trip to hospital to get his tentacles sorted out!!

He meant testicles (undescended), I was nearly tempted not to correct him as he was so earnest in his story telling but thankfully DH put him right quite subtly.

We've written it down to remind him when he's older!

@Bujinkhal

@blimppy Oh yes, the girl I was looking after today went through a period of shitting in the garden, shitting nicely at the dinner table, shitting still in the trolley etc. It was hilarious.

I had a cock porn hollerer too. Ah. Those Sainsbury's shops were magic times.

Not a mispronunciation, but If I take a certain drinking glass, out the cupboard, my 3 and 4 year old will scream "Mummy! It's too early for Gin!!" 😲😂

On travelling past the soft play place on the top deck of a bus (very exciting) DD(3) started yelling BALLS!!! BALLS!! and pointing wildly. One old chap had to get off the bus he was laughing so hard.

DS did the cock porn thing as well!

He also really likes the Bad Touch song from Bloodhound Gang so was humming 'put your hands down my pants' and 'let's do it like they do it on the Discovery channel' . Who says kids don't listen to lyrics?!

Hilarious thread! My daughter happily and very loudly announced her favourite crisp flavour in Sainsbury when little as "prawn & cock".... and on the bus spotted a lady with prominent teeth and pointed & proclaimed "teeth!" at the top of her voice. Mortified Mummy.

MIL's sister is quite a bit posher than us and always tutted at any of my kids wrong pronunciations.

Her grandson refuses to say 'knife and fork' instead saying 'fork and knife' but a combo of accent and saying it as one word has him sound like he's very very politely asking for a fucking knife when out for dinner. It cracks me up.

Love this thread! DS used to struggle to say clocks, but was totally fascinated by them. We went to our local museum where they had a big grandfather clock on display. DS exclaimed in his loudest voice: "Mummy! Look at that great big cock!"

Our just gone 2 year old dd, she can't pronounce clock . It's always "cock", whenever we see a clock she tells "cock mammy!"

My friend's little girl got very annoyed at her dad blocking her from the washing machine, trapping it.

"TWAT, TWAT, TWAT DADDY"

My 4 year old DS once announced that salad was ruining his life

With DD2 it was boobies (blueberries) and cock (chocolate). DH found it hilarious to ask her what his friends/ brothers liked. Always chocolate!

DS couldn't prounouce "s" at the beginning of words. But unusually he replaced it with "c". So stick became kick. No problem. But also socks became "cocks". And one day he came in from the garden when MIL was visiting yelling "Mummy, mummy, I have a wet cock"... (He had been out shoeless in the rain)

My aged Godmother wasn’t too good about the dentist so used to have to be sedated for the appointment. She proudly told me the dentist had seduced her. My dentist when repeated loved it.

Off out to buy some nobs

Not a mispronunciation but up to about 10 years ago my father always used the word ‘gay’ in its original sense. He has caught up with the times a bit more now after some odd looks and comments.

She sounds awesome OP. I love nobs too, they're my favourite.

My DS loudly asked me to buy him some smack for breakfast when we were in the supermarket once (he meant Start cereal). That one got me a few looks ...

My Aunt's budgie was called 'Willie'.....her son was taking a very young cousin to see the budgie.

Cousin announced to the assembled company that she was going to see [his name]'s Willie. Caused a noticeable pause in the conversation!

DD2 has speech problems - and one of them was that she changed "st" to "d" for much longer than the norm.

Right at the point the Hey Duggee stick song hit the headlines....