To refuse to look after this child until she speaks with perfect pronounciation [Lighthearted]

[DirtyDennis]

I looked after a friend's 3 year old this morning.

She can't pronounce Hobnobs so just calls them nobs, which her mother doesn't discourage because she thinks it's hilarious.

We went to Tesco, the local Tesco that I regularly shop at where people know me. Several hundred people overheard her shouting at the top of her voice at a million decibels how much she loves nobs.

She told the woman at the check-out that me and her were going home for a cup of tea and some nobs. Then she told a different check-out woman that brown nobs (chocolate ones, she describes all foods by their colour) were my favourite.

On the bus back to mine she asked me very loudly if we could get the nobs out. Two women chuckled so I said "It's Hobnobs remember" just so they knew what she meant. This made the women laugh more, which made her just start shouting "nobs nobs nobs nobs nobs" until I physically man-handled her off the bus.

Fucking hell. I'm thinking of refusing to look after this child until she speaks with perfect RP to save my blushes!

Dd also had trouble pronouncing the l in clock. I did get some funny looks when she used to point to people's watches (often at crotch level) and announce "Tiny cock".

My friends little girl had a habit of talking loudly about people in public so my friend told her not to say anything until they get home. So on the bus she points at a lady and says loudly “mummy. When we get home we are going to talk about her”

My DD will be two next month and can’t say ‘drink’ so she’s constantly asking for ‘dick’

Highly embarrassing. I’m trying to get her to say water or milk instead but it’s not happening 😂

A boy in my family had a few speech problems when he was young, and he struggled with certain letters at the start of sentences. “Cr” sounds would always become “p”. Someone in the family had a partner called Chris who would always get called Piss!

@Jenasaurus Ha!!! Mean Girl!

Before you take her out for an excursion, attach a feed bag to her, like you get for horses, full to the brim with (hob)nobs.

She'll be too busy chewing to say anything.

Another one here whose DD couldn't pronounce "st" for ages. Her first two word combination was "want dick" (repeated loudly and in public).

My little brother used to call cups of tea 'blocks of flats'. To this day, we have no idea why.

I'd have loved him shouting 'nobs'!

Oh, and a drink was a 'diddle'. He was always asking for diddle.

My daughter, aged 4, in a deathly quiet cinema waiting for the film to start "Oh Mummy, I just love Cock Porn!". I wanted my chair to swallow me. So many parents were trying (and failing) to stifle their laughter!

I suspect the big dick/stick is a made up urban legend as it always comes up on threads like this.

We’re having the stick = dick thing with 2 yr old DS3 now.

So I’m doing a lot of loud parenting along the lines of “yes DS3, what a lovely STICK!”

Anybody had a two year old with Tickin Pops?

Made me think of her covered in tiny explosive devices under the Calamine, rather than blisters

I was sad when she came back from CF's girlfriend as he couldn't be fucked with seeing her saying she wanted a Caterpillar Cake for her birthday again, having always had a Calapitta Cake. The girlfriend had sat her down for a good 45 minutes, forcing her to say it properly.

But the eldest still struggles with Nins and Peedles (she's 27). It will eventually become a 'Nanny used to say that', I'm sure.

pEoPLe KnOw mE

This kid sounds fucking great!

My friends child loved grapes, couldn't get enough of them. He pronounced them "rape". All the bloody time "RAPE RAPE RAPE I LOVE RAPE!".

My youngest can't say "st" so stick becomes dick. I have to admit to having to leave the room when she sing about how big a stick daddy is!

InaCheeseAndPickle my DS, somewhat inexplicably, used to call grapes "blapes". Tickled us no end at the time.

Trust me, the 'big stick' phenomenon is no urban legend. Take it from someone whose child has a speech delay.

I should imagine the reason you hear about it all the time is because it's really common for kids to pronounce 'st' as 'd' and kids really love sticks.

My child's worst mispronounciation was when she asked me of her father had gone outside for a 'rape' and in the middle of tesco. 'Erm, yes. Daddy has gone outside for a Vape' I replied loudly 😚'

My toddlers two favourite things are blueberries and chocolate. Only he pronounces them boobies and cock cock. Shopping trips are fun!

My 14yo ds decided to ask me the other day in Aldi why prawn cocktail crisps are called prawn cocktail. Then before I could answer announced that he had wondered because if people use to think a cock was a tail. 🤦🏼‍♀️
He's autistic and has zero filter.

I decided maybe to persuade him to switch to cheese and onion 😂

SunshineCake
I suspect the big dick/stick is a made up urban legend as it always comes up on threads like this.

Or maybe because lots of children do it.

My daughter is another who used to say 'dick' for 'stick'. I remember one particular walk when she proudly announced to a stranger 'I got a big dick and daddy got a big dick.'

Can't remember exactly how old she was, but she was definitely under 2, because it was in the park behind our old house and we moved 2 months before her 2nd birthday.

DS used to pronounce blackcurrant without the 'rra' bit in the middle

I think it was on here some time ago that someone had a child who answered the door. It was a police officer. The child proceeded to say to him, "Daddy's dead in bed and Mum is in the kitchen cutting off heads with a sharp knife."

Translation: Daddy was having a snooze (dead to the world) and Mum was cleaning fish for supper in the kitchen, which includes removing the heads.

I can only imagine what the officer thought!

My cousin’s daughter loved currants when she was little. Unfortunately that translated into her running around Asda shouting ‘Want cunts Mommy, want cunts!’