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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make daughter face her bosses on her own

286 replies

krustykittens · 23/05/2019 00:27

I'll try to be brief! My teenage DD approached a family-run restaurant that was looking for waiting staff and was told that she should come in for an unpaid trial and they would let her know. She did, they called her after and offered her a shift, she turned up for it and was told after three hours, when the rush was over, "Oh, this is another trial, unpaid, you can go home now." She wasn't happy but was desperate to land her first job, so when they offered her another shift, which she confirmed would be paid, she went in and again was told to go home after a couple of hours as the boss's son had turned up and wanted to work. Hmm Then, for three weeks, they didn't call her in for another shift, just kept telling her they had no work. A friend told her of a job going at a place she was working in and she got it, did three shifts last weekend. The old place owe her 20 pounds and didn't pay it into her account, instead they told her to come into work tomorrow (an hours journey by public transport) to pick it up and have a meeting with them. They have a track record for being unpleasant as bosses, which she knew before she applied for the job, but she said she would ignore it if it meant getting her first job. Now she is scared they are going to get nasty with her and wants me to come with her. They haven't a bloody leg to stand on with her as far as I am concerned and I think she should just go in and face them and tell them, calmly, that yes, after being left high and dry by them and treated fairly shabbily, she has found another job. She has to learn to be an adult and do things without me at her side. But she is worried sick about tomorrow - should I offer to stand outside the restaurant and go in if she calls me on the mobile to back her up? She is only a kid and these people love to power trip, which is why they are demanding she do a 2 hour round trip for twenty bloody quid! I'll be honest, part of me wants to walk in like Clint Eastwood and demand her money on her behalf! I am driving her in partially because I can do some shopping in the town, partially because I don't want to give these arse holes the satisfaction of wasting her whole morning when she is meant to be revising for exams!

OP posts:
mummymayhem18 · 23/05/2019 07:34

Hope you get it sorted. What arseholes! 🤬

TrentBridge · 23/05/2019 07:34

Agree with Dockray, please report them to the National Minimum Wage team (www.gov.uk/government/organisations/hm-revenue-customs/contact/national-minimum-wage-enquiries-and-complaints)

Not paying for trial shifts beaches NMW, and from what you've said there are highly likely to be other breaches too (did she have to wear specified clothes of her own, eg black trousers / shoes)?

Apart from anything else, an NMW review is a massive pain in the arse for an employer!

Blondebakingmumma · 23/05/2019 07:35

Why should they get away with this! I would go in guns blazing! The manager might be fierce, but it won’t compare to a mum standing up for her child!! Tell us how it goes

TrentBridge · 23/05/2019 07:35

Breaches NMW, not beaches....

Jellybeansincognito · 23/05/2019 07:35

Yep, definitely go and fight her corner. Request the money, if they try and shun you or get you into a back room for a ‘meeting’ you should suggest what exactly the meeting is for? Covering their arses before you report them?
Definitely don’t let them bully you or your daughter.

Alexalee · 23/05/2019 07:39

U go all Clint Eastwood OP... and film it if you can lol

Accountant222 · 23/05/2019 07:40

What sort of shits are they ? It's wrong on so many levels. I'd write off the £20 but tell everyone about what happened, give them a bad name

Zbag · 23/05/2019 07:42

I would go full on batshit at these arseholes.

SunshineCake · 23/05/2019 07:42

I would give her the money myself and ignore them. FFS you say she's only a kid yet ignore her request for help and send her to bullies.

Wallywobbles · 23/05/2019 07:42

Make sure you go in with a maximum of legal info. And report the fuckers please. Then report back.

notoafternoontea · 23/05/2019 07:44

I agree that you should go. Seeing how you handle this will a) reinforce that you always have her back and b) show her how it's done. A win-win. She'll be able for it herself should she have the misfortune to come across this kind of behaviour again!

SunshineCake · 23/05/2019 07:45

Glad to see you are now helping her.

WeWantJustice · 23/05/2019 07:47

We need to set up a campaign of boycotting restaurants who do these unpaid trials.

I don't want to be served by waiting staff who aren't being paid.

EmeraldShamrock · 23/05/2019 07:48

Go with her, I wouldn't let them away without paying her.
20 pound is lots of money to a teen, especially waitresses, it is hard work, they owe her.

Hermano · 23/05/2019 07:48

I'd definitely chase the money. Not sure if I'd go in myself or encourage DD to go solo, initially at least

I'd be quite happy with the idea of DD not even telling them she has a new job. If arsehole employer wants to schedule her another shift and she doesn't turn up that's not a problem IMO. Or she could text them block them once she's out the door with her money

Def def agree to report these bastards regardless. £20 is a small price for them to pay to buy silence and complicity with this illegal practice, take a stand and stop it happening to anyone else. Not everyone has a mama bear to back them up, and you'd be teaching her a good lesson about reporting fraudsters

Oblomov19 · 23/05/2019 07:48

This is poor. Tell them it needs to be in her bank within 48 hours or your'll start action. Disgraceful.

dottiedodah · 23/05/2019 07:51

This kind of thing is becoming far more commonplace sadly.The restaurant owners get free labour for a few hours then send the kids away.Young people are easily exploited, as they want to work and have little experience of the workplace.They think no one will bother as its "only"£20 .00!. I would go with her if you can ,and let her speak to them .Try to see what they say .Be calm and polite(not easy I know!) .If you dont get very far, then chalk it down to experience and concentrate on the new job!

Quartz2208 · 23/05/2019 07:51

Good luck

Yes the best teaching lesson is showing her how it should be done and handling it so next time she can handle it

Lllot5 · 23/05/2019 07:53

I’d go with her. Let her start telling them that she wants her money. If they try to fob her off then give them the full Clint Eastwood.
Tell everyone you know.

Omzlas · 23/05/2019 07:54

I second the idea of posing as a customer. And I hope she approaches them in full view of the restaurant and not in a back office etc. Feign concern when they inevitably try to wriggle put of paying her and see what BS they try to give you

All the PP - why in holy hell would you teach your children that it's ok when someone takes the piss or rips you off?? OP's DD is doing this because She's legally owed money, laying down like a doormat is an appalling lesson to teach your children... "aw someone ripped you off? They owe you money? Don't worry, have a hug and forget all about it"

And we need updates OP!!

RedPink · 23/05/2019 07:54

.

WhiteDust · 23/05/2019 07:55

I'm glad you're going with her. Not the time for your DD to go it alone.

Aprillygirl · 23/05/2019 07:57

It's disgusting that there are employees like this who take advantage of nice young people who just want to work Angry What a despicable shower of shysters! I would be fuming on my daughter's behalf if I were you, and definitely would not be looking to use this particular experience as a life lesson, when she is so worried.I would go in with her and not leave until they'd paid up all the money owed including payment for the second 3 hour shift that she did for nothing too. Teach those cheeky swindling fuckers a life lesson,not your poor daughter.

ControversialFerret · 23/05/2019 07:59

Another one saying kick their arses. I agree with encouraging her to handle stuff herself, but if she's young and only just started working then showing her the ropes is a good thing.

And yes it may only be £20 but at this point it's not about the money, it's the principle of it.

smallereveryday · 23/05/2019 08:01

Yes, definitely employ your loud voice .. when I did it with DD1 we picked an especially busy time. Use the appropriate phrases like 'Child exploitation' 'unregulated child labour' ... loudly enough for the other customers to hear... (check your councils child labour laws - they are all different but have attached the 'rules' for my council - which are fairly standard across most councils .

Employers like your and my Dds
fail at the first hurdle as all employers MUST register with the councils child welfare officer before ever employing anyone of school age..
www.eastsussex.gov.uk/media/7517/child-employment-a5.pdf

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