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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make daughter face her bosses on her own

286 replies

krustykittens · 23/05/2019 00:27

I'll try to be brief! My teenage DD approached a family-run restaurant that was looking for waiting staff and was told that she should come in for an unpaid trial and they would let her know. She did, they called her after and offered her a shift, she turned up for it and was told after three hours, when the rush was over, "Oh, this is another trial, unpaid, you can go home now." She wasn't happy but was desperate to land her first job, so when they offered her another shift, which she confirmed would be paid, she went in and again was told to go home after a couple of hours as the boss's son had turned up and wanted to work. Hmm Then, for three weeks, they didn't call her in for another shift, just kept telling her they had no work. A friend told her of a job going at a place she was working in and she got it, did three shifts last weekend. The old place owe her 20 pounds and didn't pay it into her account, instead they told her to come into work tomorrow (an hours journey by public transport) to pick it up and have a meeting with them. They have a track record for being unpleasant as bosses, which she knew before she applied for the job, but she said she would ignore it if it meant getting her first job. Now she is scared they are going to get nasty with her and wants me to come with her. They haven't a bloody leg to stand on with her as far as I am concerned and I think she should just go in and face them and tell them, calmly, that yes, after being left high and dry by them and treated fairly shabbily, she has found another job. She has to learn to be an adult and do things without me at her side. But she is worried sick about tomorrow - should I offer to stand outside the restaurant and go in if she calls me on the mobile to back her up? She is only a kid and these people love to power trip, which is why they are demanding she do a 2 hour round trip for twenty bloody quid! I'll be honest, part of me wants to walk in like Clint Eastwood and demand her money on her behalf! I am driving her in partially because I can do some shopping in the town, partially because I don't want to give these arse holes the satisfaction of wasting her whole morning when she is meant to be revising for exams!

OP posts:
UnicornBrexit · 23/05/2019 06:38

One of these desert/ice cream chains that's so popular at the moment was doing this will some of the local kids, knowing they would to be to scared to front it out. trading standards got involved. Someone will be along abut Im not altogether sure 'no pay trials' are entirely legal. Its always worth getting your facts straight before wading in with veiled threats.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/05/2019 06:40

Did you post this a while ago as well? Hope you get sorted

Poloshot · 23/05/2019 06:41

I read the title and the first bit and thought here we go of course you shouldn't go in. But I totally changed my mind. Leave your teen in the car and steam in there and demand the money for her shift and the second 'trial' shift they're taking the piss.

HotChoc10 · 23/05/2019 06:42

At the very least, go for a meal there yourself then instead of the bill, leave a note explaining why you haven't paid. Then call it even.

notfromworcester · 23/05/2019 06:43

I think you're right to go in. She's a teenager and they've got away with this by intimidation so far. Don't put her through that.

I'm currently dealing with an employee in their 50s who has threatened to being their parents in over a dispute entirely of their making. I'm secretly really hoping it happens Grin

ThomasRichard · 23/05/2019 06:45

Any chance of a GoPro recording OP? Grin

Hellywelly10 · 23/05/2019 06:45

After you go post the whole saga on trip advisor! And glass celing.

Iamheretoday · 23/05/2019 06:48

Please let us know how you got on. I hope you post reviews of them online. As for the manager throwing menus at people, I wish someone would report her for that. I hate bullies. I would mention it if you post a review as well, people like that don't deserve peoples business.

Waytooearly · 23/05/2019 07:02

I'm really surprised at your blustery but ultimately passive stance on all this.

These people aren't your daughter's bosses! They're criminals who've defrauded her.

Why are you letting them call the shots by obeying their summons to come in and collect £20?

Write them a letter telling them that they have five working days to transfer the money owed to your daughter, otherwise you'll be bringing a claim for fraud and unlawful labour practices. Send it by recorded delivery.

Roseandrhubarb · 23/05/2019 07:06

Absolutely, way

I would be furious if someone treated my DD like this, and I am far from confrontational.

SnuggyBuggy · 23/05/2019 07:09

Do you have local Facebook, the places that pull this shit should be named and shamed, I'd happily boycott

RantyAnty · 23/05/2019 07:09

This is a great teaching lesson for you to show her how to never take shit off of anyone.

You both go in and you tell the creeps how it is. You will be absolutely bad ass in her eyes and she will know how to stand up for herself in the future by watching you do it.

Iggly · 23/05/2019 07:14

Going in is doing what they want.

Phone them then put it in writing.

Chimpd0g · 23/05/2019 07:17

Unbelievable, go get em krusty

DontMakeMeShushYou · 23/05/2019 07:18

Why the 'meeting'?

Quite possibly because they want her to sign a non-disclosure agreement so that she can't let everyone else know how bad they are.

DianaT1969 · 23/05/2019 07:20

Repeatedly call them, on behalf of your daughter until you speak to the owner, and tell them to transfer the £20 to a PayPal account today, it to a bank. No more messing about.
Imply that you are aware of things to report to authorities if they don't pay up and start treating young staff fairly.

Dockray · 23/05/2019 07:21

The NMW enforcement team would be interested in "unpaid trials" which were unannounced and unagreed with the worker.

ittooshallpass · 23/05/2019 07:23

Definitely go with her... look forward to your update!

CrumbsCrumbsEverywhere · 23/05/2019 07:23

I think we all need their Facebook page Wink

legolimb · 23/05/2019 07:27

I hear of these unpaid 'trials' now and again on my local facebook page. There is a quite pricey steak restaurant which is known for it.

I would step up on your DD's behalf OP. Go with her to the meeting and if she is not confident to speak up do so for her. Demand the £20 and give them a piece of your mind. Afterwards report to NMW/Trading Standards or whoever.

Don't let these cheeky feckers get away with it.

Collaborate · 23/05/2019 07:28

I'd go with her. Why wouldn't you? Shame the tight-fisted employers. Bet they wouldn't try it on with you.

SoupDragon · 23/05/2019 07:29

I'm so glad you're going in!

I'm not confident enough to do that and would have just given my child the £20.

Angie169 · 23/05/2019 07:31

I think you should help to , I would go in a as a customer sit down and read the menu then have your DD come in and as for the money in full view of all of the other customers and staff , tell her to kick up a fuss.
if she has no look go over as a 'concerned citizen ' and ask what the fuss is about and help out from there .
Dont let DD be persuaded to go into a back room / office / kitchen , partly because alone she may ( understandably ) crumble under intimidation and as she does not work there she is not allowed to go anywhere except the public areas , this should work to her advantage on a busy Saturday evening Grin

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 23/05/2019 07:32

I think on this occasion you are right to step in. And you can show DD how it’s done, so she is better prepared to handle such situations in future. I also learned my complaining technique from my tenacious mother!

woodcutbirds · 23/05/2019 07:32

I'd go with her. That's because I'd go with anyone of any age to face off manipulative bullies. No way should she 'write off' the £20. They owe it to her and I would be very loud at a very busy time about it until they paid it, then tell them she had found a job which pays, that being the point of employment.

That or order £20 worth of food, then when the bill comes tell them it was a trial meal to see if you want to eat there in future.

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