To make daughter face her bosses on her own

[krustykittens]

I'll try to be brief! My teenage DD approached a family-run restaurant that was looking for waiting staff and was told that she should come in for an unpaid trial and they would let her know. She did, they called her after and offered her a shift, she turned up for it and was told after three hours, when the rush was over, "Oh, this is another trial, unpaid, you can go home now." She wasn't happy but was desperate to land her first job, so when they offered her another shift, which she confirmed would be paid, she went in and again was told to go home after a couple of hours as the boss's son had turned up and wanted to work. Then, for three weeks, they didn't call her in for another shift, just kept telling her they had no work. A friend told her of a job going at a place she was working in and she got it, did three shifts last weekend. The old place owe her 20 pounds and didn't pay it into her account, instead they told her to come into work tomorrow (an hours journey by public transport) to pick it up and have a meeting with them. They have a track record for being unpleasant as bosses, which she knew before she applied for the job, but she said she would ignore it if it meant getting her first job. Now she is scared they are going to get nasty with her and wants me to come with her. They haven't a bloody leg to stand on with her as far as I am concerned and I think she should just go in and face them and tell them, calmly, that yes, after being left high and dry by them and treated fairly shabbily, she has found another job. She has to learn to be an adult and do things without me at her side. But she is worried sick about tomorrow - should I offer to stand outside the restaurant and go in if she calls me on the mobile to back her up? She is only a kid and these people love to power trip, which is why they are demanding she do a 2 hour round trip for twenty bloody quid! I'll be honest, part of me wants to walk in like Clint Eastwood and demand her money on her behalf! I am driving her in partially because I can do some shopping in the town, partially because I don't want to give these arse holes the satisfaction of wasting her whole morning when she is meant to be revising for exams!

Hope it goes well today

I don't think anyone should go for a "meeting" with the restaurant owners/managers, at least not in the first instance. They shouldn't be afforded that courtesy, they are the ones in the wrong. They need to be told in writing how much your daughter is owed, by law, and that she will be taking them to the small claims court if the money is not paid into her designated account within 5 working days of the date of the letter (or 3 working days on the date of an email).

Yes, email and phone. Don't traipse over on command.

A similar thing happened with my daughter years ago. They refused to pay her for a weeks work. The manager was horrible to her. It was a cafe, so I went in, and asked nicely for the money owed. He refused so I just sat down and told him I wasn’t budging till she got it. He paid up eventually but it took about an hour. I still get the rage thinking about how he spoke to me.

My eldest also got scammed like this at costa coffee a few years back. She was so proud at how well she’d been getting on during the two very busy “trial shifts.” Never heard back from them after.

Cash in hand? Bet hmrc would like to hear about that.
Normally I would say let a 16 year old deal with their employer but this is outrageous. I would go with her.

Something similar happened to my daughter when she was sixteen. She went in to collect her money and came out crying because they said they "hadn't got any cash". Luckily her boyfriend had taken her. He went straight in and told the little weasel owner to find the cash NOW! Five minutes later he was back out with her money!

I wouldn't mention the fact she has another job at all. Just ask for her money, tell them she won't be working for them, end of.

I'd be going in with her, just so they don't intimidate her. Let her speak and only be there as backup, as that'll work wonders for her confidence, but I'd be stepping right in with a massive fuss should abuse come her way. They're robbing her if they don't pay her (for BOTH shifts after her trial). That's the kind of situation a local newspaper might find very interesting.

I wouldn't even take DD, I'd go in there myself.

I've had to do this for my middle DD - she did 12 shifts in a local restaurant without being paid, and they were vile people. I went at sat at the bar until they paid me what they owed her.... only took 10 minutes once I started talking to the bar staff and a few customers!!

i know they have to leanr.but is she well rounded and strong in herself in other ways?becasue no matter what my dd age id still be there for her to face anyone she didnt feel able to on her own.you can be any age and want your mum/friend/back by your side and i dont think that is a bad thing and is brave for asking for help.

I worked in a nigtclub at uni that just refused to pay me - not for any reason, the money just didn't arrive. I was 19 at the time. My dad called them up - he was a trade union shop steward at a steel works and i think a combination of soundly northern and a bit scary and knowing employment law inside out worked a treat. No idea what he said but they were everso polite to me from then on....

My DD did an unpaid trial and it was 6 hours with no break, her first ever job. I was annoyed about it as I thought ‘free child labour’ but they did actually give her a paid job although they are all 6 or 7 hour shifts and only pay her £4.25 an hour bless her 😂

I haven’t got involved in any way (I’ve told her to find a better paid job) although I feel quite sorry for her I would step in if someone took the complete piss out of her in this way!

Can you give them a poor review on tripadvisor advising potential guests of this?

I know my DD is getting the minimum FYI I just think she could do better, it is a local business but it’s raking it in ten fold always absolutely heaving and DD is rushed off her feet all day, with the older better paid staff doing none of the manual labour only the young £4.25ph staff are doing iyswim

Go on her behalf (or with her - they may refuse to interact with you on your own), get her wages, give them a piece of your mind and then plaster the whole carry on all over every social medium site you can.

The bastards!

I also wonder, if they get shirty and refuse to pay up, whether it is worth taking them to a small claims court - I know it's only twenty quid, but how many other people are they ripping off? Might be worth putting that on facebook too, to see if you can get a few exploited teens together to take action.

Honestly OP? I think she's learnt her lesson, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. It's a teachable moment, talk to her about it - she does need you right now, but for guidance, not for muscle. Give her the £20 yourself and let it go. In the meantime I would 100% report them to HMRC.

I was in the let her get on with it camp when I saw the title of your post, but reading it put me firmly on the other side; time to go into Warrior Parent mode!

Go in all guns blazing and make sure your daughter learns from this - even if you are desperate for a job you don't have to take illegal exploitation lying down.

I would absolutely go in and be making my feelings and position known. It's easier when you know what you're talking about and won't stand for any bullshit.

Watching tossers like that squirm makes my day

I was just about to write exactly what @Mistigri suggested.
Write to them, do not waste your time going there, asking for a cheque to be sent to you or a bank transfer to be made.
Tell them politely in the letter that if they do not pay your DD what she is owed you will report them to HMRC for breaching national minimum wage legislation.

I am making damn sure she gets her money

Unfortunately it's unlikely you'll be able to do that - they'll have pulled this stunt before, knowing the regs around it are weak. Push them, and such unpleasant types will probably use the "meeting" to claim she stole something and that they'll call the police unless you leave (I've known it done more than once )

Definitely use the HMRC / social media route, but otherwise I'd advise your DD to leave it and hope that her admirable willingness to work gets a better reception in her next job

Jesus, my blood pressure has gone up reading this.
Your DD is a teenager, not an adult or in her 20's. She needs to be shown that being sh@t on from a great height is not on under any circumstances and that bullies need to be stood up to. A teenager cannot stand up for themselves with adults. They can only learn from other people how to stand up for themselves.

What I would be doing is going into that restaurant when it is at its busiest and asking to speak to the manager, with my DD at my side. I'd ask them for the money they owe her. If it wasn't forthcoming I would be telling the whole restaurant what a shower they all were and did they know they ate in a place which bullies and exploits children. Then I'd be threatening to call the police, the council, the news paper and anyone who'll listen.

I would take down their business for that 20 quid.

In principle I'd like to think they could go in alone but in reality I'm pretty gobby and even at 16 wouldn't have felt comfortable standing my ground on this with proven arseholes.

But I don't think you should go in either, maybe help her construct an email to them saying she won't be coming in to collect the money because of the round trip and that she doesn't want to do any further shifts.

Then can she give you a hand with some stuff at home and you give her the £20?

Poor her they sound like such bullies :(

As I think you are planning now, you should go together and show your DD how it's done (polite but firm and unshakeable). Then next time your DD will know what to say. It's a valuable learning experience for her.