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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make daughter face her bosses on her own

286 replies

krustykittens · 23/05/2019 00:27

I'll try to be brief! My teenage DD approached a family-run restaurant that was looking for waiting staff and was told that she should come in for an unpaid trial and they would let her know. She did, they called her after and offered her a shift, she turned up for it and was told after three hours, when the rush was over, "Oh, this is another trial, unpaid, you can go home now." She wasn't happy but was desperate to land her first job, so when they offered her another shift, which she confirmed would be paid, she went in and again was told to go home after a couple of hours as the boss's son had turned up and wanted to work. Hmm Then, for three weeks, they didn't call her in for another shift, just kept telling her they had no work. A friend told her of a job going at a place she was working in and she got it, did three shifts last weekend. The old place owe her 20 pounds and didn't pay it into her account, instead they told her to come into work tomorrow (an hours journey by public transport) to pick it up and have a meeting with them. They have a track record for being unpleasant as bosses, which she knew before she applied for the job, but she said she would ignore it if it meant getting her first job. Now she is scared they are going to get nasty with her and wants me to come with her. They haven't a bloody leg to stand on with her as far as I am concerned and I think she should just go in and face them and tell them, calmly, that yes, after being left high and dry by them and treated fairly shabbily, she has found another job. She has to learn to be an adult and do things without me at her side. But she is worried sick about tomorrow - should I offer to stand outside the restaurant and go in if she calls me on the mobile to back her up? She is only a kid and these people love to power trip, which is why they are demanding she do a 2 hour round trip for twenty bloody quid! I'll be honest, part of me wants to walk in like Clint Eastwood and demand her money on her behalf! I am driving her in partially because I can do some shopping in the town, partially because I don't want to give these arse holes the satisfaction of wasting her whole morning when she is meant to be revising for exams!

OP posts:
yabadabadontdoit · 25/05/2019 18:22

I'd send them a cheque then cancel it

MiMiMaguire · 25/05/2019 20:58

She doesnt want a job with them, shes gotten a new job. No meeting necessary.. why would you/she entertain the suggestion of a meeting when there is nothing to discuss? Let your daughter revise and phone these arseholes with her bank account and tell them its to be lodged to her account on Monday morning or it will be taken further. Why are you guys marching to their drum at all ??

yabadabadontdoit · 25/05/2019 22:03

PLEASE READ TH3 FUCKING THREAD BEFORE COMMENTING. THANK YOU

MiMiMaguire · 26/05/2019 03:33

Careful now, dont give yourself a fucking hernia. This is life and death after all.

Dieu · 26/05/2019 08:45

As a teen, I was in the same position (a long time ago!). Thankfully the restaurant was local, so my father rocked up with our big fuck off Staffie, and demanded my money Grin
I had the least snowflakey upbringing ever, which is probably why this memory stands out for me.

AdoreTheBeach · 26/05/2019 09:12

Well done OP. Similar happened to my daughter but she was taken on, they short constantly short changed her in pay and kept all tips. We encouraged her to leave. Wish I’d known about reporting the restaurant but they did close down quite quickly.

I would say, we now make it a point of giving cash tips direct into the hand of our waitresses/waiters when we go out now as I also understand not passing on tips is another thing many restaurants are renowned for.

Supermum29 · 26/05/2019 11:52

I don’t think it would be fair to make her go it alone! You can’t go with her and not have to fight the battle for her, just step in if it’s really needed.
It is only £20 but how many others have they done it to! I’d go in there collect the money and leave.

Supermum29 · 26/05/2019 11:52

*can not can’t!

SoupDragon · 26/05/2019 13:29

They went together. They got the money.

BJ1978 · 26/05/2019 22:12

I think it yabu to expect her to face them alone. This is her first job and firsts are generally when children need some assistance or guidance from parents. Personally just to teach them and her a lesson in fairness I would take it further and force them to pay for every shift she has done as it is illegal to have someone work and not pay them even for training.

prettybird · 27/05/2019 09:21

She went. She supported. Her dd got her money. Last week.

RTFT.

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