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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make daughter face her bosses on her own

286 replies

krustykittens · 23/05/2019 00:27

I'll try to be brief! My teenage DD approached a family-run restaurant that was looking for waiting staff and was told that she should come in for an unpaid trial and they would let her know. She did, they called her after and offered her a shift, she turned up for it and was told after three hours, when the rush was over, "Oh, this is another trial, unpaid, you can go home now." She wasn't happy but was desperate to land her first job, so when they offered her another shift, which she confirmed would be paid, she went in and again was told to go home after a couple of hours as the boss's son had turned up and wanted to work. Hmm Then, for three weeks, they didn't call her in for another shift, just kept telling her they had no work. A friend told her of a job going at a place she was working in and she got it, did three shifts last weekend. The old place owe her 20 pounds and didn't pay it into her account, instead they told her to come into work tomorrow (an hours journey by public transport) to pick it up and have a meeting with them. They have a track record for being unpleasant as bosses, which she knew before she applied for the job, but she said she would ignore it if it meant getting her first job. Now she is scared they are going to get nasty with her and wants me to come with her. They haven't a bloody leg to stand on with her as far as I am concerned and I think she should just go in and face them and tell them, calmly, that yes, after being left high and dry by them and treated fairly shabbily, she has found another job. She has to learn to be an adult and do things without me at her side. But she is worried sick about tomorrow - should I offer to stand outside the restaurant and go in if she calls me on the mobile to back her up? She is only a kid and these people love to power trip, which is why they are demanding she do a 2 hour round trip for twenty bloody quid! I'll be honest, part of me wants to walk in like Clint Eastwood and demand her money on her behalf! I am driving her in partially because I can do some shopping in the town, partially because I don't want to give these arse holes the satisfaction of wasting her whole morning when she is meant to be revising for exams!

OP posts:
noseoftralee · 23/05/2019 03:02

Google review. Trip advisor. Spread the word. Nasty bastards

HennyPennyHorror · 23/05/2019 03:08

Put this on their social media....review and say what they did. Also on local Fb sites....

isabellerossignol · 23/05/2019 03:11

I suspect that teenagers not getting paid for their work is probably quite common. It happened me in the two jobs I had as a teenager. Constantly 'forgetting' to pay me and then demanding that I attend in person and more or less beg for the money, then when I got the money it was short of what I was owed... It's maddening that employers can get away with it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/05/2019 03:13

FFS dd, not did

gotosleepalready · 23/05/2019 03:17

I would want her to get paid so she knows going forward not to let an employer take the piss. I would absolutely go in and give them a piece of my mind. Is there a trading standard you can report them to in the UK?

Grumpymug · 23/05/2019 03:35

Can't help thinking I have read this before. Maybe it's some common trickery amongst restaurant owners?

Yes, and not just to teenagers either, it's how some hospitality companies treat staff as a matter of course. They just get away with doing it to youngsters more because they're less likely to know what to do or to stand up for themselves. It's common among those who have been unemployed a while too, they know the DWP are breathing down their necks and people are too scared to say/do much other than put up with it.
I get where you're coming from wanting DD to learn how to deal with this, and I think it's unlikely they'll be horrible with you in tow, so my suggestion was going to be pose as a customer, and step in if you need to, but then if they take her to an office or something, that's not going to work. I'd be tempted to give her a brief of what to say, and include in it about a pay slip, I'm not 100% but shouldn't she have one for records for tax and ni? Even if she didn't earn enough to actually pay tax and ni? Surely if there's no payslip and no record, that's cash in hand and worth a call to the inland revenue.....?
Just a thought.
Good luck to you and DD, the more people stand up to exploitative arseholes like this, the less they're getting away with it.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 23/05/2019 03:49

I'm all for standing on your own two feet but not in this case. Your DD has already been exploited and now they are messing her around, she's scared how they will treat her and probably with justification.

Sod going in for a "meeting", I'd be in the restaurant when there are customers loudly demanding her money. Give your DD £20 and let her get on with her revision.

Durgasarrow · 23/05/2019 04:27

I think you should help her get the money back. Teenagers are in a rough position. They are still young enough to be expected to be deferential to adults, yet they are sometimes put into adult positions. Your daughter simply doesn't have the power to assert herself in this situation--if you don't back her up, what threat does she have to demand her pay?

LellyMcKelly · 23/05/2019 04:30

If you’re up for it go in for the meeting with her guns blazing.

flumpybear · 23/05/2019 04:34

I'm glad you're going in too, that sound really dodgy to me, I'd be scared for her safety!

Honestly I'd stand back but be there to support her, when she gets her money I'd give them a piece of my mind about abusing young adults in the work place, their reputation is shot to bits and you and your extensive friend group won't be using their restaurant again - they sound like the bloody mafia 🙄

Dana28 · 23/05/2019 04:49

I would write to them sagying this is a letter before action. They have 28 days to make payment by cheque or bank transfer before you begin action in the small claims court with no further warning

floribunda18 · 23/05/2019 04:58

I would write a review on Trip Advisor and Google saying nice place, pity they exploit their young staff.

mathanxiety · 23/05/2019 05:09

I wouldn't waste my precious time going there in person.

Do what Dana28 advises.

Small claims court is the place for this dispute.

ChaosMoon · 23/05/2019 05:22

Yes she needs to learn to stand up for herself but don't forget that in a lot of workplaces, you'd take a union rep to a meeting like this.

Coach her before hand in how to approach this / what to say. Then go in with her, give her first crack and bring out the big guns if she flounders. If she knows you're there and has your help before hand, she may surprise herself with what she's capable of.

smallereveryday · 23/05/2019 05:23

I did the exact same thing for my then 16yr old DD 1 in her first job. The 'family run restaurant ' was running a scam whereby they had new girls desperate for a Saturday job , in for 'trials' every weekend. No one ever got a job.. as they just got another free one the next. 8 hr busy shifts as well.

Unpaid work is exploitation. I went with her. She asked for payment. They told her no we don't pay.. I stepped in and explained that unless the appropriate minimum wage was paid I would be contacting the council who regulates child employment AND posting this scam (which she had been unaware of until afterwards) all over FB/trip advisor and the local paper. I also told them I would sue for the money on principle and then they would be paying costs. As I would not allow anyone to exploit children.
(It probably helps that I work on an anti-slavery team and have a healthy hatred for exploiters)

The manager shuffled away and spoke to the owner - who stumped up whilst hissing 'I'll never give you work again' !!! . I felt that line deserved an appropriate response so notified the authorities anyway.
My daughter found 11 other girls who had been ripped off , to complain to the council resulting in a hefty fine for under 16s working in a commercial kitchen AND their pay...

Revenge is a dish best served cold by unpaid teenage waitresses.. Grin

Anniegetyourgun · 23/05/2019 05:36

Well, you did let her make her own mistake, which she's hopefully learned from, and now I think it's time to give her a hand. I'm glad you want to. She's still of an age where one can reasonably expect a bit of moral and practical support from parents. As a pp said, show her how it's done! And put the wind up the exploiting bastards.

Fedupofballs · 23/05/2019 05:51

I’d go along with her, and then tell your story to the local press. You can bet she won’t be the first person this has happened to, but you can help her make it the last!

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/05/2019 05:54

It sounds as smaller has the answer. They have scammed your dd. I bet it’s not the first time. Had they given her paid employment you could write the trial off. But not when they asked her to work a second time and refused to pay her. Now are trying to wriggle out of the third.

Either go and see them and demand money for all hours worked. Or write to them in her name stating she will pursue them through small claims.

I like the latter better simply because it creates a paper trail. Does your dd have any written proof she worked the hours or text messages?

I love what smaller did. How old is your dd? She’s a teen. So would you also be able to contact the council about child slave labour?

BlueSkiesLies · 23/05/2019 05:54

You should go with her! She’s only 16 and this shower of shits aren’t at all trustworthy.

And you should tell all your friends about how this place treats staff.

redcarbluecar · 23/05/2019 05:55

@smallereveryday - Good for you, reporting that scam.
My first thought was ‘let the £20 go’ but it sounds like there is a principle worth standing up for (even if unsuccessful) and possible recourse to law if necessary. These places probably rely on young people just being desperate for their first job.

Weebitawks · 23/05/2019 05:57

To be honest, if it was me, I'd be calling them myself and demanding they transfer the money. I don't see why she needs to dance to their fiddle trudge all the way there. I bet if you called them and threatened reporting them etc they'd change their tune.

I know you want her to handle it herself, but they're Dick's and aren't going to show her any respect. Particularly if she goes there.

floribunda18 · 23/05/2019 05:58

That is brilliant, smaller. Well done.

Nillynally · 23/05/2019 06:03

I think how to give someone a proverbial arse kicking should at least be modelled first. Stroll in their Clint Eastwood style and demand payment plus tips. Tell them you're very close to reporting them for child labour. Your daughter can give them the finger as she walks out.

soupmaker · 23/05/2019 06:35

Lovin your work Smaller

OP I'd be supporting your daughter in taking on these scumbags. Help her get her £20, she's earned it. Too often young people like your DD are exploited by awful employers, she needs to know they can be taken on.

There is a brilliant campaign here in Scotland called Better Than Zero which has organised young workers in the hospitality industry and got some great results.

AJPTaylor · 23/05/2019 06:37

Go in yourself. Preferably on a busy saturday evening and be very loud indeed.
Ask your dd what she has learned cos it's actually a valuable lesson.
My dd had this but in a local start up restaurant. Fucking idiots. They were dead in the water by Xmas due to them failing to pay their staff and the collective local decision to not go there.