to not go back to children's centre due to spanish inquisition

[rubyroot]

First time there- my 16 month has sahd who doesn't tend to take him to things. Socially he is fine, but just wanted him to get used to being around kids a bit more. From seeing him today, he's fine and gets stuck in.

BUT, as I was new (first time I had been) the workers (are they HVS of nursery nurses-- not entirely sure) swooped in and started asking loads of questions- whereabouts do I live, where do I work? I replied with the town I work in and then wanted to know what I do! I told them- I should have really told them to mind their own business.
Needless to say I won't be going back, I went there for my son, not to be asked a million questions!

OP nobody on here was there to hear the conversation, the people working there sound like they got your back up. Maybe they weren’t very good at making the things they have to ask sound a bit more casual. I’d maybe give it another go to see if they still annoy you and if so try some other groups. I know plenty of people who have been to a baby and toddler group and not found their fit including myself. Good luck.

Oh come on OP, don't make me keep asking?

What's your job?

You said in your OP that his dad doesn’t take him anywhere and that you wanted him to have a chance to play with other kids, so you took him yourself. Then got defensive when pp asked why his dad doesn’t take him to socialise. Why are you so bloody defensive? You’re saying you grew up fine without going to groups, that’s great, but they’re available now, for everyone - so why would anyone not use them for their child’s social development? Your attitude stinks.

I work in children’s services and yes they will check your postcode to see if you live in a target area. Yes they will ask questions for conversation and to gather information about you.

Having a M/C profession does not exclude you from abuse, pnd, child neglect or needing support etc. In fact it’s surprising how many people of all walks of life don’t recognise these issues in themselves.

It’s their job to monitor families, I suspect they pretty quickly realised that you were hostile, because they are perceptive too. They will possibly mark you out as hostile or one to watch, particularly as you don’t engage well

Our children’s centres have had numerous MC families over the years who have received support. A GP struggling to breastfeed, a solicitor suffering DV and a teacher who was married to a headmaster who didn’t recognise that their child was on the autism spectrum. Just a small example.

Don’t go back if you don’t want to but you don’t need to be so pretentious about it.

I found loads of people who ran groups make a point of asking if you are working and what you did/do. I think it's to make a point of seeing you as more than 'just' a mum and find out a bit about what else you do with your time other than just being another person chatting about babies in a baby environment. i always liked it.

When I went to the children’s centre... I was pretty middle class, Russell group educated, dh had respectable career with decent income. Lived in a smart part of town.

I was also isolated, knew nobody in the local area, had no family support, was recovering from trauma and probably had PND.

It’s not only chavs who need support, you know. Posh people struggle too.

I wish someone had chatted to me and asked me about myself. Nobody did.

It’s much better than the alternative, OP, which is that people don’t get the support they need.

Hmm, you’re starting to come across as quite paranoid. Why on earth would they want to “look you up”?

Wow you lot really do read into things/make things up. They searched for me on their database using my postcode, I know this because they said I was not registered.

I'm not actually that cheesed off, I just went there for my son, for a playgroup and felt that wasn't what I got. but, yes I understand from what people are saying they are a support service so I shall go elsewhere in future.

To the poster who said that they only like to interrogate 'chavs'- unfortunately I feel like that is the attitude of HVs and workers in children homes in my area. It is quite a deprived area and so I think class tends to be quite distinct. I have seen workers be quite condescending to people unnecessarily

centres- not homes!

They need to register you and everyone who attends sessions in the children’s centre for their funding and safeguarding guidelines. They will record every visit.

They need to register you and everyone who attends sessions in the children’s centre for their funding and safeguarding guidelines. They will record every visit.

I know

It’s not only chavs who need support, you know. Posh people struggle too

I know this- so why the qs about my job. No one was there to see the convo, but I do get the distinct impression in my area there is profiling that takes place. Just my perception on things based on lots of interactions

I know

You do now

Sounds like they're trying to make conversation and make sure you're included tbh

Talk about over reacting

You should be thanking them for being on the ball. They were doing exactly what they are supposed to do.

You're the one who keeps talking about your middle class job.

So, what's your job?

Isn’t that just called making conversation? What did you want them to ask you, or should they not have spoken to you?

Well, as is well known, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Put it behind you and move on.

What is a children's centre?

I'd think they were just making conversation.

So his dad just Sits on his arse all day then instead of showing his son the beautiful world we live in?

And these groups have been round a very long time so wind your bloody neck in and grow the fuck up

I do get the distinct impression in my area there is profiling that takes place

This is true - they are funded for various things, one of which is reaching demographics whose children later show lower attainment (low income, young parents, unemployed parents, etc). They have to show that they are steering these groups toward the 15 hours at age 2 funding, the specific young parents playgroups, various free courses and qualifications with free childcare attached, etc. They need to document that they are serving these groups to retain that funding stream.

They probably knew you don't tick these boxes though, and were just chatting.

Reference
m.youtube.com/watch?v=sAn7baRbhx4

I'm not entirely sure you understand what the Spanish Inquisition really was.