to not go back to children's centre due to spanish inquisition

[rubyroot]

First time there- my 16 month has sahd who doesn't tend to take him to things. Socially he is fine, but just wanted him to get used to being around kids a bit more. From seeing him today, he's fine and gets stuck in.

BUT, as I was new (first time I had been) the workers (are they HVS of nursery nurses-- not entirely sure) swooped in and started asking loads of questions- whereabouts do I live, where do I work? I replied with the town I work in and then wanted to know what I do! I told them- I should have really told them to mind their own business.
Needless to say I won't be going back, I went there for my son, not to be asked a million questions!

To be honest I just find the workers in children's centres ( not all) a bit nosey and busy bodies.

But you said it was the first time you'd been? How can you possibly be in the position to make such a sweeping generalisation?

Honestly - just don't go any more.

I never said having a degree and a proffesion makes you middle class.

I used one woman i know as an example to disprove your incredibly ignorant statement. I am not "going on" i am just explaining why i think you are wrong. Is that not allowed?

If being rude and condescending to those you deem "less" than you is what being MC is about, i am glad i am not it.

I think op is an estate agent.

If you think questions such as ‘where do you live’ and ‘what’s your job’ are someone giving you an inquisition rather than friendly chat

I just don't expect them to be the first questions really.

Would you not engage with adults at any baby group then? That must be quite lonely as a policy when encountering new people, fairly anti-social, and possibly poor manners.

Not at all- I had a good chat with most parents I came into contact with and the workers too. I just felt the workers were trying to profile me that's all.

Passthecherrycoke: just curious: who exactly do you think is middle class? You seem to have a wee bee in your bonnet about it

But you said it was the first time you'd been?
To that articular one. to that particular group

I think the OP is an Orthodontist or a Pathologist.

The 'where do you live' question may well be to do with funding. You have to live within catchment of our children's centre to access services (even the free ones). This didn't used to be the case but is now due to the extensive cuts. Most groups ask for your postcode when you sign in.

Honestly - just don't go any more.

Yeah I think you are probably right. I'll find some play groups not connected to local govt

Honestly - just don't go any more.

I think you are right, I will access play groups which aren't support groups and not funded by local govt.

I'd already given them my postcode and they'd already searched me up!

The where do you live is probably to check you are entitled to go to that centre. Especially if they often get people from across the border coming to their centre. It's all scrutinised by local authority funding etc.

You’re terribly defensive and you have a terrible attitude. I honestly don’t know why you’re so worked up about any of this!

Funding for children's centres is under threat. They need to build up a profile of those using their facilities to ensure that they are accurately targeting and meeting the needs of the community they were set up to serve. Also it enables them to signpost families to other appropriate resources. Try not to take it so personally!

There’s a difference between revealing information in casual chit-chat and being asked for it by people implementing state policy, possibly with an undeclared agenda. I would be uneasy with that too.

Plant I’m not really addressing you tbh, you just keep asking me questions.

I’m saying OP isn’t middle class. She seems determined to think she is, and that therefore children’s centre workers deem
Her worthy of stopping their Spanish Inquisition once they’ve established so.

Presumably because they only like to interrogate the chavs 🙄

However, I would bet my house OP isn’t middle class. So there we are.

No offence OP but you sound like a ball ache. They asked you questions to try and make you feel included. And yes your DH needs to take your kid to things. You said in your OP dad stays at home and doesn't take your son anywhere

What do you mean 'searched you up'?

They weren't giving you the third degree, they were asking perfectly normal, everyday questions.

I didnt even reference op! I only said that your comment about only wc people use childrens centres was shite.

Whether op is mc or not is of no consequence to anyone. She just thinks it is clearly!

They probably complete impact assessments and hence like to know who their end-users are.
No decent children's group would make assumptions about your parenting based on your class. All classes of mothers can have PND and children across classes can be neglected or abused.

I’m firmly mc (and look/sound it) living in a wc area. I needed support with my kids, went to the childrens centre and had a lovely welcome and good support. Was the highlight of my week for a while. They were doing their jobs.

Our local children’s centre was exactly like this, a few years ago mind. Lots of engagement and questions, until I told them my “middle class profession” and that I’m “married to another middle class professional”. The “questioner” immediately finished the conversation - you could see her thinking “oh right not our target group no help or support needed there so can disengage”. I was quite shocked at the time as I didn’t know their actual target market.

Sorry but you are being UR. It is their job. If you had gone to the local soft play centre and they asked these questions then that would be different. But you went to the local childrens centre (possibly a sure start type thing?) which is probably part charity and part nhs (?) With very low funding, some of the workers will be HVs some volunteers. They have to justify their existance and show that people from all walks of life use their services. They offer support and advice, and in some cases they are even poaching for volunteers! They are checking on your health and wellbeing as well as that of your child. It is quite possible that the majority of people that use that particular centre need financial help/ food banks etc and whilst it is a sweeping assumption to make, asking about profession/home life is an indirect way of asking if you need help, without bluntly asking.

I remeber when my dd1 was born and the HV came round. After prodding and poking dd and asking a million questions she sent DP out of the room to get something and quite bluntly asked me if he was unsupppstive or abusive in anyway. I was absolutely mortified. I thought she was accusing dp. When i calmed down and asked why she had made such an accusation, she explained that they had to ask and even if the woman says no, they have to point out where they can get help if it were ever to happen. I asked other new mums and they had all had the same line of questioning!
Simple thing is, If you don't understand why they ate asking certain questions, ask them!

This is the second thread in a few days where the OP has taken offence at being somehow "profiled" as working class, and then gone banging on about how class-ridden British society is.

I think your chippy attitude shone through, OP, while the workers were talking to you. No wonder they left you alone.

Hmm, you’re starting to come across as quite paranoid. Why on earth would they want to “look you up”? You’re really not that special to them, your just another number who they hope will return to ensure they receive funding to keep running the groups.

You and your husband sound like fun people to be around...