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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go back to children's centre due to spanish inquisition

159 replies

rubyroot · 21/05/2019 20:57

First time there- my 16 month has sahd who doesn't tend to take him to things. Socially he is fine, but just wanted him to get used to being around kids a bit more. From seeing him today, he's fine and gets stuck in.

BUT, as I was new (first time I had been) the workers (are they HVS of nursery nurses-- not entirely sure) swooped in and started asking loads of questions- whereabouts do I live, where do I work? I replied with the town I work in and then wanted to know what I do! I told them- I should have really told them to mind their own business.
Needless to say I won't be going back, I went there for my son, not to be asked a million questions!

OP posts:
Gottalovesummer · 21/05/2019 21:26

What's your job OP?

Original poster
rubyroot · 21/05/2019 21:26

Maybe the conversation wasn't really sparkling, and she sensed that your professional background is very important to you?

Haha- I had only just bloody got there!

(Venture capitalist? Colorectal surgeon? Taxidermist?)

God- I wish

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 21/05/2019 21:27

OP isn’t taking about a nursery, she’s talking about a baby drop in class. It’s nothing to do with nursery

VodselForDinner · 21/05/2019 21:28

Maybe leave the baby groups to your boyfriend? Doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying it.

Eachpeachpearplumbs · 21/05/2019 21:28

I just don't understand why the second question is asking me about my job
^ This is funny Grin
Have you really never been asked about your job before?
In my experience it’s pretty common that any stranger you have to make friendly conversation with (think beautician/hairdresser) etc asks about your job.
Why would the children’s centre be any different, and why would you take such offence?
My family health visitor asked both mine and my partners job when she came to visit. Come to think of it she even wrote it down in a file. How very dare she try to get a sense of my family and if there is anything she could support us with.
I may complain about the woman immediately!

NerrSnerr · 21/05/2019 21:28

What would you define as a middle class profession? We had a baby group out our children's centre where I met a vet, a couple of teachers, a post lady, a nurse and a social worker. I hadn't really thought whether their jobs were middle class.

Original poster
rubyroot · 21/05/2019 21:29

Yeah it is. Unless you’re like the Op and think having a profession makes you middle class

Not at all, I think there's many aspects to class. But I firmly believe we live in a class based society in Britain still, despite others proclaiming we are all the same

OP posts:
hsegfiugseskufh · 21/05/2019 21:29

A lot of children's centres are also nurseries. The baby groups are run by the same practitioners who run the nursery. Many parents who use the nursery also attend the classes or did pre nursery in my experience.

Do you seriously think childrens centres are only for the poor?

Abbazed · 21/05/2019 21:29

Could u have pnd?

AudTheDeepMinded · 21/05/2019 21:29

If it wasn't for the friendly staff at my local children's centre chatting to me and getting to know me my PND and PTSD may well not have been picked up and treated. It is part of their remit to make sure that any parent is receiving the level of support that they need, and they can't do that by guessing, can they? (and also many of them were just genuinely friendly and still stop and chat to me and my three DC even now)

Tinyteatime · 21/05/2019 21:29

Wasn’t she just making conversation? I often ask people what they do for work when trying to make conversation, didn’t realise this was considered rude. Would you rather she didn't talk to you at all?

Ohrobin · 21/05/2019 21:29

It may come across as nosey, but children centres are primarily and early help/intervention funded by the local authority and part of the point of children centres is to pick up families that might need extra support. Other community centres probably are less inquisitive as they are primarily a play group rather than an early help service.

But no one is forcing you to go to the children centre! But any groups I'm sure are always good for the kids and they enjoy them.

Original poster
rubyroot · 21/05/2019 21:31

Could u have pnd?

Hilarious! Only on AIBU

OP posts:
LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/05/2019 21:31

They don’t care what class you are (hint: you’re at a children’s centre, you’re working class)

The events at my local children's centre are absolutely overrun with middle-class mummies (including me, when I was on mat leave). I don't actually think it's great that this has happened, and I imagine they find it quite tough to justify their funding when they crunch their demographic data, but it's definitely true. It's seen as a nice and convenient extra thing to do on top of lots of paid-for baby classes, not instead of. Everyone I knew was weighing up whether to go their weaning class or a class that cost £32 run by a private company, for instance (fwiw, I thought this was madness, and went to neither) - almost all of them decided to do both.

Gottalovesummer · 21/05/2019 21:31

So, what's your job OP?

TheFatberg · 21/05/2019 21:31

I was thrilled to be asked about my job on maternity leave, it reminded me that I had a life outside of the baby fog.

Passthecherrycoke · 21/05/2019 21:32

Yes I know that plant Grin I live in one of the most expensive cities in the country. The children’s centres are still prodominently working class, as is the overwhelming majority of the population, and the cities residents, so makes sense really.
You’re Reminding me of a friend who tried to say the local hospital was middle class 🤣

Original poster
rubyroot · 21/05/2019 21:32

*It may come across as nosey, but children centres are primarily and early help/intervention funded by the local authority and part of the point of children centres is to pick up families that might need extra support. Other community centres probably are less inquisitive as they are primarily a play group rather than an early help service.

But no one is forcing you to go to the children centre! But any groups I'm sure are always good for the kids and they enjoy them.*

Agree, but that's not why I'm accessing services to be honest. I think as pp mentioned that community groups may be more my thing

OP posts:
LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/05/2019 21:33

They do have some sessions that are advertised as 'by invitation from your health visitor only', which I think they use to make sure the groups they're actually supposed to be targeting get a look in.

AudTheDeepMinded · 21/05/2019 21:33

Would you not engage with adults at any baby group then? That must be quite lonely as a policy when encountering new people, fairly anti-social, and possibly poor manners.

Jasging · 21/05/2019 21:33

At least they just asked you that! They always used to ask if you were breastfeeding at my children's centre and then if you said no you weren't allowed the free toast! Used to wind me right up!

hsegfiugseskufh · 21/05/2019 21:34

Wow cherry are you always so condescending and rude?

Im not saying childrens centres are middle class. Im not saying their users are predominantly middle class. Im saying some, a percentage, are.

Money clearly cannot buy you comprehension skills.

Tinyteatime · 21/05/2019 21:35

If you think questions such as ‘where do you live’ and ‘what’s your job’ are someone giving you an inquisition rather than friendly chat might I suggest you both go to more effort to socialise your dc with people so he doesn’t grow up viewing friendly chit chat as something suspicious. He clearly has very anti social parents.

Passthecherrycoke · 21/05/2019 21:36

Yes, some are. The minority, as the minority of British people are middle class. Apart from on MN, where having a degree and a profession seems to somehow elevate you to the middle classes Confused

You’re the one going on about the one author you know who uses a children’s centre

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 21/05/2019 21:36

OMG, OP - you're a personal injury lawyer, aren't you!