To be pissed off over eggs?

[cricketmum84]

Ok I know this is totally a first world problem but I'm feeling rather pissed off today so this could be the last straw lol!

My DH went to the supermarket this morning and I had put "free range eggs" on the list. I'm a vegetarian, almost vegan but not quite given up cheese yet. I'm quite hot on animal welfare.

He came back from the shops with eggs from caged hens. Doesn't see anything wrong with this at all and says because I don't eat eggs I don't get a say. I say that I don't want eggs from caged hens in my house and I don't want my family contributing to the survival of that industry.

Am I just being a moody cow today or do I have a point??

I don't think it's controlling to ask, nor to explain the reasons for your preference.

But once you've made the request it seems hectoring to constantly fight with him because he's chosen not to go along with your request regarding a food that you don't even eat.

He's done it three times, he clearly doesn't agree with you. Why can you accept that about meat but not about eggs?

He's done it three times, he clearly doesn't agree with you. Why can you accept that about meat but not about eggs?

This^^
OP, it is not controlling to ask but that's not the issue here is it? You ask, he chose not to and then you get pissed off at him. Him choosing not to is HIS CHOICE as he is the one who eats them. You telling him to get them and then getting pissed off at him for not getting them is what's controlling.
It is also controlling of your to say that you don't want the kids to eat them, why does he not get a say? I've mentioned this already before but you haven't replied to it so I'm going to guess you may be avoiding the points i'm making.

He's done it three times, he clearly doesn't agree with you. Why can you accept that about meat but not about eggs?

To answer this question - he chooses to eat meat because he enjoys eating meat. He enjoys the taste and the texture and does not want to be a vegetarian.

He buys eggs from caged hens because of the price, even though he knows I would rather he bought free range. He has absolutely no preference regarding taste and only uses eggs for Yorkshire pudding and egg fried rice. He doesn't eat them apart from those two things (DD is rather partial to a good omelette though and DS loves poached eggs) so he wouldn't recognise a taste difference although the kids probably would. He is being a tight arsed Yorkshire man and putting £1 per box above my concerns.

I would rather he bought free range.

You do not eat the eggs.

He is being a tight arsed Yorkshire man and putting £1 per box above my concerns.

And tough shit. He eats the eggs, your children eat the eggs, and you do not. So, why does that give you the right to control which eggs he chooses for whatever reason he wants?

I really don't think it matters @GreytExpectations as whatever I say you will argue against it. You're just in that frame of mind.

I've already said earlier that he has agreed that I will get eggs from the farm shop in future. It makes no difference to him at all.

You're just in that frame of mind

Coming from you, really? Hey, you are the one who posted in AIBU and then argued back when its pointed out that yabu. Funny how you are now avoiding my questions. 🙄

as whatever I say you will argue against

Op, let me explain how discussion and debate works on the internet. I can give my opinion when you asked for it, you can give your opinion. Disagreement doesnt mean arguing, its part of a debate and discussion.
Its obvious you only want to here from people who agree with you and as I dont you shut me down (I imagine you do the same thing to your dh.)

Anyways, enjoy your free range eggs that you wont eat.

Erm it's kind of a 50/50 split at the moment so you might like to rephrase that to I argued back when YOU expressed the opinion that IWBU.
Mi can't believe I'm getting flamed and painted as a controlling overbearing witch for giving a fuck about the welfare of the animals that produce food my family wants to eat. I'm not telling anyone not to eat eggs. Literally just to buy a specific box,

If you sent your husband out for leeks and he brought back onions I'm sure you would be a bit wtf too.

I'm not engaging with you anymore after this.

@GreytExpectations well said! Can't stand on AIBU OP's that get extremely defensive and just can't admit they are wrong when posting on this topic!
The majority of posters have said she is wrong.
I feel for the poor husband.

@FunInTheSun2019 I'll pass on your concerns

@cricketmum84 you also argued back to that other 50% who disagreed...

And why should YOUR choice to care about the welfare of animals (which is questionable based on your lifestyle) override your dh's opinions and choice? You dont even eat the sodding eggs

If you sent your husband out for leeks and he brought back onions I'm sure you would be a bit wtf too

Actually, I'm not controlling like you so id just ask why he got onions instead and if he decided he wanted them then fair enough, his choice as he did the shopping. If it was a mistake then ah well, its happened and next time im sure it will be corrected. Really not a big deal and you example with leeks vs onions doesn't make sense.

@FunInTheSun2019 yup, just another one of these:

OP: AIBU?
MN: Mostly, yes
OP: No i'm not! Because xyz

You've had the exact same argument with your DH three times OP. I'm not sure you're in a position to be accusing other people of being argumentative.

Seriously, why bother posting in AIBU if you're so sure you're right?

If I sent my DH to buy leeks for him to eat and he decided that he would rather eat onions then I'd literally not give a fuck because he's eating them not me.

To be fair I think their is a good split of opinions on this topic. A lot of people saying yes IABU because I'm not eating the eggs, but also a lot of people who see that it's not a huge effort for him to make sure he picks up the thing he was asked to oick up rather than a cheaper alternative that I'm uncomfortable with.

Again can I reiterate that I'm not asking my family to cut anything out of their diets. I will still cook and feed them the things I don't want to eat. I do this because they make their own choices and make their own decisions.

All I'm asking for is no eggs from caged hens?? Is that really such a controlling request in the grand scheme of things??

That whole post is just so contradictory 🙄

that I'm uncomfortable with.

How can you be uncomfortable with something that isnt directly affecting you?

Again can I reiterate that I'm not asking my family to cut anything out of their diets

Yes you are. You are asking them to cut out caged eggs.

OP I am 100% with you. Well done for being a voice to the hens who otherwise don't have one.

I'm glad you're going to a farm now.

I always buy organic but from the supermarket so wonder if going to a local farm would be better but then I'd have to drive specifically there and I think about the fuel and I slowly go crazy inside.

I do this because they make their own choices and make their own decisions.

Except about what sort of eggs they want to buy.

I'm not really sure why you think "liking the taste" is a valid reason that you are willing to accept, but cost isn't. Why does your husband have to justify his food preferences to you and only be permitted them if you deem his reasons good enough?

I find it baffling that you can claim to be allowing him his choices and decisions.

Avoiding buying eggs from caged hens is just about the most basic thing people can do to ease some suffering, I can’t understand why people are defending his decision. I’d judge anyone for buying them, it’s absolutely shit practice.

cricketmum
First you got whacked by the people who hate cheese, now you’re getting whacked by the people who hate vegetarians. Not a good day on mumsnet for you!

If you sent your husband out for leeks and he brought back onions I'm sure you would be a bit wtf too
Yes, but that is not the same at all is it? If I sent him out for organic leeks (that I wasn’t going to eat) and he came back with non-organic leeks, then I wouldn’t see any issue! Would you??

TBF cricketmum I have to agree that some posters seem to focus on the fact that you eat cheese, not sure why it bothers them so much, fairly easy to understand that you can make efforts for the planet or animal wellfare even if you don’t cut out all animal products from your diet.

Can you keep your own hens? A lot of people do, even in town gardens. Three rescued ex-battery hens will lay enough for three people and you will be able to control their conditions as well as having rescued them.

If I sent him out for organic leeks (that I wasn’t going to eat) and he came back with non-organic leeks, then I wouldn’t see any issue! Would you??

That’s not it either though - it’s a welfare issue. So if you sent your husband out to get leeks and he had a choice between leek A (lots of suffering) or leek B (less suffering) would you not be a bit put out that he chose A when it was so avoidable? Why would you support the suffering if you didn’t have to?

@learieonthewildmoor thanks that's well needed tonight!!